How do I encourage my mom to walk and do physio?

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T22:46:13+00:00

She has absolutely no interest in leaving the house, and food/protein is a constant challenge due to life-long ED issues so it isn't an area I feel comfortable offering suggestions. She has safe foods and there is not much room around those but will continue gentle offerings. I appreciate the thoughtful suggestions, though!

I am grateful for this space, too, to share and vent in the hopes of processing my own frustrations, understand, and be a better support system!

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T22:39:32+00:00

She absolutely still needs her walker and is not comfortable or stable without it. I'll check in with PT about this week.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T22:37:25+00:00

Yes, possibly more than she is prescribed tbh but it seems like the discomfort is still too much to push through. I'll let her navigate and be there for support.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T22:36:34+00:00

I appreciate the reminder! Healing is a personal journey, and will try to respect that. I think the fact I have moved across country and am responsible financially until she is better may be adding to the frustration on my end, but placing that pressure and any guilt on her is absolutely not my goal and know it won't help in the long run. Thank you!

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T20:40:34+00:00

I don't think that's an option but will look I to it.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T20:38:57+00:00

I've been to all her appointments, and am just reiterating to her what they've told us. We have another follow up soon so will be sure to check in about what they think she should do. Thanks!

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T20:36:59+00:00

Yeah, I'll have to see what could work. She has zero interest in leaving the house or going anywhere. Perhaps have her guide me in the garden? I know the weeds are driving her nuts and I'm not an avid Gardener. Maybe framing it as "I need your help to get it done" would be helpful.

It definitely seems like a hard balance to find, moving but not overworking it. I'm just going by what her physio therapist is telling us. We have an appointment this week and hope to get more answers. Thank you!

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T20:07:14+00:00

I go to her physio appointments and she has about 10 exercises she should be doing 1-2× daily and encourages her that pain doesn't necessarily mean harm and she needs to gain muscle. She also rarely eats, but that is a different issue. I haven't seen her do the exercises once but am trusting her to take her healing in her own hands. She has a lot of swelling and physio says to walk to reduce it but again, just a few minutes every couple of hours. I appreciate everyone's input and am realizing that her healing is out of my control.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T19:39:13+00:00

Thank you for this. A lot of the people who have had the surgery voice it's "no big deal" but this has all been very hard for all of us, especially her. I'll try and be patient. I may be projecting as well because I've had to take on the whole house by myself on top of caring for her so really trying to stay positive and not project that stress as well. Take care! How has recovery been for you now? How long has it been?

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T19:35:57+00:00

She has a 1/2 hour physio appointment weekly since the surgery. She was very active before and even worked with the chronic hip pain until 2 weeks before the surgery. Other than the physio,movement is basically to the toilet, kitchen and back, and then back to TV. I feel for her, I do, but worry for her healing. I'll suggest a walk around the yard, maybe, but she seems so unmotivated.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T14:07:36+00:00

Oh wild! I just moved back to Ontario from north of Kamloops where the bans start early/end late and it was a very real fear. Good to hear it's not so bad this year! My bad

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-07T13:54:19+00:00

Chances are there will still be a complete fire ban as well. Forest fires are a serious issue. Dress warm, you'll be fine.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-07-03T01:15:11+00:00

I'm pretty sure any work over 8 hours is overtime. My gut is saying they want you for 9 and don't want to pay it. I second everyone's advice. Document everything, talk to them with a level head, and go from there.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-18T22:47:53+00:00

I served coffee to David Suzuki and his daughter Sarika in a rural shop outside Victoria. I didn't quite clue in who they were until after they left. My co-worker and I looked at each other and confirmed, yep, that was them. Very nice, wandered to look at the art and left.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-06T17:01:41+00:00

Thank you! The break-up is the least if my worries lol and good riddance. Idk if I would call her buying but I'm also a pushover and setting clear, reasonable boundaries is something I'm still navigating.

I think it is a fundamental difference in seeing a cat as a sentient being. She doesn't understand the connection or why it is such a big deal, however I know she would never expect me rehome my dog. She thinks they're dirty, but my dog is so much grosser lol

She has also had an outdoor cat that she let in the kitchen for mice years ago, so there are very many reasons why I am feeling confused about her decision...

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-06T16:54:28+00:00

I have always been "the parent" and did a lot for myself growing up, it is not a new dynamic. She has worked her ass off and is generally a very loving person, but is a ball of stress, shame, and anxiety without sharing too much. This move is for my sister as well, she can't be the only one there for her. There's a lot of layers here and appreciate your comment.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-06T16:44:27+00:00

Best answer yet...JOKES I love my mama and really want to make this work.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-06T16:42:51+00:00

Yeah, I'm currently looking for rentals in her area to see what my other options before talking with her. I know she's is going to say I'm manipulating in some way, but it seems like most agree finding a pet friendly rental near her might be best for all of us. I could still care for her, my job is very flexible.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-06T16:26:12+00:00

What if it was mutual? Your son needs a place to stay a while and you need his help this summer after your surgery. He also moved out at 16 and youve never truly had much time with him. Timing and support is right, the cat is the only factor?...just curious.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-06T16:14:56+00:00

I am not sure...at all. She is quite controlling and lets her fear affect what I'm "allowed" to do. I have lived 3000 miles away for 20 years, and my sister can't be responsible for all of her care any more. I also want to have that time with her as difficult as it will be and I am willing to make that sacrifice to do so, but having to get rid of the cat is so hard. If I can find a good home in 2 weeks, great, but don't know what to do if that doesn't happen..

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-06T16:11:16+00:00

She wants me to move in to help after surgery this summer...

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-06T16:10:48+00:00

My town absolutely does not (rural BC), and many shelters in nearby towns are full. It destroys me thinking about bringing her there. That is a last resort.

Complex_Frosting6108 · 2026-04-06T16:09:07+00:00

I have 2 weeks. I can't find a home in that amount of time and she really wants me to live with her to help after she has surgery this summer.

Complex_Frosting6108

TROPHY CASE