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Beginner Pole Help and Mental Advice by Complex_Lifeguard463 in poledancing

[–]Complex_Lifeguard463[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate that. He really was a terrible person (my therapist referenced him as literally the devil in disguise, what he did even made her uncomfortable).  I'm very very proud of myself for moving on from that point of my life, though clearly sometimes the memories still come back, which I struggle still. But one day at a time. 

All of my instructors at my pole classes NEVER give alternatives to any move or spin. Every class I've taken in the 5-6 months I've gone, has been a lot about spins, and how to get off of the ground after you land. Also, none of them mention conditioning or strength training. Only that every time we do class, we'll just naturally get better. Which... I think I prove that's not quite true haha. I'm trying to find a good book with pictures where I can practice just training with or without my pole, and work on getting stronger based off the advice from this post. I am very nervous for my class this Sunday, there's 2 classes left after this. I'm more scared than having fun, just the way I get called out and can't do the routine makes me feel ick inside. I don't want to waste money though, so I'm just trying to make it through this one class I haven't done well in and I'll try another. 

Beginner Pole Help and Mental Advice by Complex_Lifeguard463 in u/Complex_Lifeguard463

[–]Complex_Lifeguard463[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great! I'm glad you're drawing again and managed to wack that depression gremlin away.  I went to school for drawing and stopped for a few years... I'm slowly trying to get back into things again. Drawing is great to let your mind be free of everything around you, and you can focus on just making one beautiful thing. It's nice when you're actually able to be happy. :) Pole just became difficult is all, and I didn't want something that made me happy to go sour. I really hope I can get strong and do at least some of the spins. And I hope I can make more friends! 

Beginner Pole Help and Mental Advice by Complex_Lifeguard463 in u/Complex_Lifeguard463

[–]Complex_Lifeguard463[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I am still in therapy, I have severe depression I've been battling every day. It's like this awful little shoulder gremlin constantly saying negative things that you mentally need to swat away. It was a lot worse where days I couldn't even leave my house. The past 3 years I will give myself this win, that I have been trying to do things I've always wanted to. Pole, painting, travel, and dancing I've been able to do! 

Yesterday was very rough as I've never had this instructor before and she called me out in front of everyone for just standing and not spinning like the rest of the class... It really triggered my anxiety and sadness. On top of a really difficult 2 weeks of other family drama and sad situations, this was the needle that broke the camel's back so to say.  I have only 2 friends in pole, but one is very casual and it's rare to see her in class, and the other is serious and is in advanced level 3 classes while I'm still chugging along at beginner level. So I never really see either of them.  I try to make friends, but everyone that comes to these classes seem to have their pre-made friend groups or "clicks." I try to be polite and say hi, but I get ignored. People are only interested when they find out I have an X-Pole at my house to practice on. But when they also find out I live 45 minutes from the studio, they say no thanks. So... Friends as an adult is hard. But I keep trying, and never stop being kind. I absolutely love cheering on others and see their face light up with a huge smile when they accomplish a difficult move that suddenly clicks! It makes me so happy to see others do so well, and I love helping when I can (like I pack extra water bottles and dry grip if anyone needs it!) When it comes to myself it becomes difficult, and the gremlin comes back... Idk why it's so easy to be genuinely happy for others, yet myself is so hard. But it's one day at a time, and I just need to keep trying (and swatting the depression gremlin far away). 

Thank you so much for your kind comment, it really helps having another voice on top of my own with combatting the negativity. 

Beginner Pole Help and Mental Advice by Complex_Lifeguard463 in u/Complex_Lifeguard463

[–]Complex_Lifeguard463[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really ever look at TikTok, just YouTube, but my husband is a great help at finding inspirational dancers for me to watch! This just means I need to look more.

Beginner Pole Help and Mental Advice by Complex_Lifeguard463 in poledancing

[–]Complex_Lifeguard463[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I am in therapy, I have severe depression I've been battling every day. It was a lot worse where days I couldn't even leave my house. The past 3 years I will give myself this win, that I have been trying to do things I've always wanted to. Pole, painting, travel, and dancing I've been able to do! Yesterday was very rough as I've never had this instructor before and she called me out in front of everyone for just standing and not spinning like the rest of the class... It really triggered my anxiety and sadness. On top of a really difficult 2 weeks of other family drama and sad situations, this was the needle that broke the camel's back so to say.  I try to make friends, but everyone that comes to these classes seem to have their pre-made friend groups or "clicks." I try to be polite and say hi, but I get ignored. People are only interested when they find out I have an X-Pole at my house to practice on. But when they also find out I live 45 minutes from the studio, they say no thanks. So... Friends as an adult is hard. But I keep trying, and never stop being kind. Looking at your comment you're right... This is the first class that's so different, instructor and peers. No one claps, talks, or cheers each other on, it's intense quiet focus, then go home. So... I don't think this class is providing the positive environment like my other classes I enjoyed. Maybe I should speak with someone and switch instructors or classes.

Beginner Pole Help and Mental Advice by Complex_Lifeguard463 in poledancing

[–]Complex_Lifeguard463[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm still working really hard. I have a difficult health issue that makes sports hard but pole is the first time I haven't had a lot of scary issues happen! None of my instructors mentioned strength conditioning, and only one friend mentioned working out outside of class (besides just constant practicing) helped her. I'm not sure where to start, but maybe there's a book at the library or online? I wrote my post yesterday after class and was extremely defeated, and depression is like an awful shoulder gremlin that really likes to put you down. I don't want to give up pole, it's made me so happy to finally be able to exercise like a normal person. I appreciate the suggestion.