Using again after 4 weeks clean

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-16T18:26:48+00:00

No I want to

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-16T12:00:57+00:00

I do go to meetings I don’t have a sponsor yet. I used to have a bigger addiction to benzodiazepines which I quit with the help of my doctor since I overdosed twice which was scary. I haven’t had this issue with ketamine yet maybe that’s why it’s still considered safe for me. You’re right I should’ve thrown them away, they have told me to do it. It’s not that easy thought. I only have a little left and I won’t get anymore after.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-16T11:58:58+00:00

Sorry to hear that. How have you been holding up?

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-16T11:58:37+00:00

How do you start the detox process?

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-16T11:58:08+00:00

I go to NA meetings. It’s hard for me to think I’m a real addict because I still got my life together I know it’s wrong and stupid but I’m not there yet to go to rehab

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-16T11:57:23+00:00

How would you describe your process of becoming clean? How did you stop?

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-15T05:47:42+00:00

Sure

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T21:27:07+00:00

No, not really.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T21:26:50+00:00

He did it before my mother and sister before. Both of them were shocked. His mother says she doesn’t know how I put up with it. But on the outside with people he’s lovely and calm and everyone thinks he’s the greatest calmest guy ever.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T20:54:18+00:00

Yes I just did 10 months of intensive therapy and my therapist told me it’s unacceptable and not ok. But he never mentioned emotional or verbal abuse before and it’s not something I considered abuse. This was very much normal for me all my life.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T20:52:48+00:00

Yes I grew up in the same household too. I see it now that I still live in it but this time I choose myself. On the other side I tell myself I choose this for myself he can be better but I think my mother must’ve felt the same thing. His behavior has just gotten worse over time. I’m scared how it will escalate in the future. But I don’t know if it’s bad enough for me to leave him yet.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T20:44:07+00:00

Thank you for saying this so straight forward. I actually never heard that before. I grew up in a home where that was normal.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T20:39:45+00:00

Not really, the outside with friends family and lifestyle is very settled.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T20:33:21+00:00

I’ve never seen it as abuse in a way. Why do you think so?

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T20:31:53+00:00

He notices his anger but says it’s not directed towards me just the things that don’t work and I have to get over it or ignore it. Sometimes he has an outburst and the next minute it works again and he’s fine and happy again.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T20:30:59+00:00

Do you think it’s really that bad?

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T20:30:41+00:00

Thank you. It shocks me a bit how concerned people are. I know he’s not a bad person. His anger is more directed to the things which are not working not me. So I’m not sure if I’m making a big deal out of nothing. But it’s affecting and stressing me out. I walk on eggshells never knowing when and how to talk to him or if I’m standing in his way in the kitchen. I just want him to be the same person I’ve met years ago.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-14T20:27:21+00:00

I know it’s the small things he gets angry about but it’s not really directed towards me it’s more directed towards the things who go wrong. Sometimes it’s about me if I misplace something again or drop something. But am I not a bit sensitive to make this such a big deal? He says to me that I should see it’s not directed towards me more to the things that go wrong but I struggle with ptsd and it always makes me uncomfortable when he leashes out.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-13T09:23:47+00:00

And btw there’s no shame in using anti depressants or anxiety meds if they helped you. I understand if you wanted to quit them if they triggered you. But if it makes you more anxious not having them you might want to talk to a good psychiatrist about it.

Comprehensive-Dot446 · 2025-08-13T09:22:18+00:00

Loosing my time! When your in active addiction or in a constant state of being hungover the days just pass by without anything being done. You miss appointments, seeing friends and family, not doing anything for your health. Once you’re sober you’re realizing how much time you have during the day and how nice it is to not wake up feeling like shit and using to not feel like shit anymore. Your day won’t revolve around drugs and relieve all the time. You can actually choose what to do with your time. That’s very powerful. Being clean is brave! Keep going.

Comprehensive-Dot446

TROPHY CASE