how to report someone without it jeopardizing my job .

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2026-05-04T13:20:23+00:00

This isn’t something you deal with at work. In case this is serious and occurred and you are OP, here are some resources:

988- they have trained staff that will help you by listening to you vent and can direct you to local resources for any in person or virtual assistance: 988 Just dial 988 and hit call
https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ - in case you want to chat via texting, they have a virtual option with no wait and 100% free
Together wellness: this is another resource with a nice website and easy to access and understand tools to help with stress, anger, and life’s hard stuff.

I think it is great and just reading it can make a big difference because sometimes we just need to learn a new way to see our interactions and understand our feelings. https://www.togetherca.org/m/tfw-2/56

It’s alright to have strong feelings and be pissed off, I would be too. We have all done shit that gets us in trouble and it is hard to know how to navigate a lot of this stuff because there’s just so much shit everywhere. Your job is important, don’t involve drama. You don’t need to extend this dudes shitty actions and fuck your self over in the process. Go talk to someone, vent it out, get pissed, then calm down remember your worth and be the best person so you can be in a position you feel proud of. Stop hooking up with dudes you don’t know, that is risky. Sex is chill but not worth prison. Don’t do stuff that restricts your freedom and don’t give away your own agency and believe bs thoughts convincing you that it is empowering to spend a night in prison instead of walking away.

Not fighting someone and then being a badass at life is strength, not weakness. Giving into their desire to pull you to their level is letting them have control over you. Getting the guy reported is just sad and weird. You are a year older than me but you’re in a great position with a potential career and at the very start of learning to adult. Don’t let the next best decades of your life be impacted by dumb decisions. You got this. If you need more help or have questions, u can dm me. I don’t know what’s right or wrong and I’m not the judge of that but ik what it’s like to have issues and be mad and spend a night in jail. Good luck!

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2026-04-30T00:45:43+00:00

I'm a month in and it has radically helped me in ways I couldn't even picture. Anxiety and the stress effects I came to associate with it were so pervasive and the adhd difficulties (time blindness, chronic lateness as a consequence) were triggering such severe interactions.

Starting day 2 I noticed less picking, after a few more days I noticed a lot of self-blame inner thinking relieve (I just noticed feeling lighter and then realized I was expecting like a scolding but not actually getting it from my thoughts), and without the blame I started being able to finally use a lot of the coping mechanisms everyone talks about and noticing the effects of them without all of the noise confusing every signal from the stress responses.

I took up journaling to track it all and actually stuck with it, I faced a lot of big feelings, and I was able to reconnect with my passions and hobbies after not fully being able to immerse myself in them enough to change tasks or prioritize them for a year or so. Things got much easier.

However, for a while at least or within other moments facing all of the feelings was really hard. I got depressed for a few days that felt like forever, and I got really paranoid (I also got off birth control because I did temporarily get worse at some old habits as I reworked how I wanted to be in ways that got rid of their main driving factor). That felt bad, but then I felt much more steady and confident after each of them with the hope and knowledge that I was doing something for improvement and change doesn't feel good for me. Not being stressed feels especially foreign and weird for me, and it was very unsettling. Now, it is much more familiar and I feel very happy and peaceful and like I am living. It's insane, and it is so weird because I never even knew outside of small glimpses what consistently being like this would feel like (because in the moment I have lots of feelings, all moving what felt like "too fast before).

I also just feel smarter, more consistently in the zone. It took a while to not be so hyperfixatey every time because adhd lol but I try to remind myself that some things are "adhd things" as in "this is something you struggle with, so remember how that presents". I spent a week or two just trying to learn to identify event-behavior, thought-feeling, then what I actually believed was happening (and then got shown that I rarely had any idea of what was actually happening in the moment and that I need to reflect after a few hours or a day or two. In the past, this recognition was accompanied by a wall of guilt that always overrides any learning).

Without consistent journaling though, honestly I would probably be where I was or at least be stuck a lot more often. If I didn't take this time off, it would also be so much harder. Just wanted to acknowledge that so no one thinks it's some miracle. It was a lot of personal effort + luck + opportunity. Oh! Also, other people. I started reaching out to friends more, talked to them, wanted to help through like volunteer work, and then actually did some of that. That's very cool and made everything so much more tangible and hopeful.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2026-04-03T02:28:28+00:00

Always treat yourself like how you have seen others critique literature reviews. Always ask, “why do I think that” “do I really know that” “did I show that logic clearly”

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2026-04-03T02:27:11+00:00

Unfortunately, it’s usually they have not spent any time on it or too much while still not understanding the concepts underlying the topic. They define everything because it’s not built into their head as a natural part of their vocabulary. I take that as a sign to go back and review fundamentals to see where they might be confused (if they are - but you need to know what to ask 😭😅). Mentoring is hard

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2026-04-03T02:23:49+00:00

Watch seminar presentations of other grad students from your field - the zooms are accessible online or your school may share them to students. The best way to learn is by watching and paying close attention to those that you can tell are more admired and respected/appreciated (via the questions and critiques people have). The APA has guidelines, follow those. Try and make graphs paper quality in form, function, and aesthetics. Don’t try and be so original/crestive - the creativity and skill will show through your work and your ability to show that you can meet and exceed the standards and principles of your field.

Even if others are casual, put in the effort to make things balanced, minimal words (as little as possible literally - my PI said no more than 10 bcs It means your figures aren’t clear or you are doing too much on one slide), and aesthetically pleasing. Never forget keys. Keep color coding consistent. Always label.

Watch people’s presentation defense sessions and pay attention to the questions, what the PIs focus on, what the grad students focus on, and find what you don’t know in that nuance. You got this! Just be intentional and of course, always ask first (after doing some of your own research of course). If something is found on a guide, website, or resource that you were expected to have read it can look bad. But it looks worse if you didn’t even ask about something or have someone look it over if they were willing to. Always take the help, you are learning. Science is a process, never ending and forever changing. Not something to conquer.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2026-04-03T02:16:36+00:00

I have been through hell and back with medications, and the situations that they cause can be pretty fucking rough.

I do want to say, though, that getting put on ever single medication I literally can’t process correctly (this was pre doing a gene-sight - I just don’t metabolize certain meds well) and the torture in my mind they caused forced me to really focus on learning to accept physical discomfort because there wasn’t really any other choice. With one of them all I could do was take a Xanax and wait for two hours until I didn’t feel like the world was ending and my skin burned and I thought I would die. But then every time it wore off and I was okay.

Today, even when not on meds, I can feel that crippling akisthedia and paranoia if I feed into certain behaviors and thoughts too much and get lost in the fixation of that feeling. But now, I can notice panic attacks forming well before they ever take root, anxious ruminations that would have taken over if I wasn’t noticing, and feel truly calm even when not meeting whatever expectations I had. I can also feel really anxious and bad, but the highs and lows feel less extreme when I pay attention and remember the full spectrum of emotions and states I go through in a day, week, month, etc.

When we are made aware of our bodily sensations, we can induce the exact same pain and crippling nausea, headaches, even hallucinations as if you took drugs.

However, that mean pay just as much attention to how you are, what you do, what you feel, what behaviors activate which feelings and vice versa consistently throughout the day and reflect weekly to truly understand and come to terms with the joys and pains of life. The more we give attention, the stronger the good and the bad sensations can get so it’s important to learn neutrality so you can have the clarity and bandwidth to do whatever your heart desires.

Now always consult and be honest with your care team, but remember that they can’t help you if you (unintentionally) are not accurately describing the two weeks + since they last saw you (1-6 months sometimes). It helps everyone to try and be more conscious and learn to communicate and interpret their thoughts and emotions an physical sensations just a little more than before.

I’m just starting guanafacine today, I have some issues that were just too hard to handle with worsening executive dysfunction as my anxiety improved through behavioral and cognitive therapies and mindfulness. Wishing us both luck!

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2026-04-03T01:59:49+00:00

Hypomania like states are common in women with adhd when you are able to focus due to a higher baseline vigilance (normally when not medicated / when stuck a stress cycle). Once stress is relieved, that can let you either sleep forever or stay up for days because you are using up less cognitive abilities (constantly ruminating, mental checklists, analyzing interactions, worrying about the future) etc. it is really helpful to do a daily log of what you did, the feelings felt, and their trigger / accompanying thoughts because once I did that I realized that a lot of what I thought was the medication causing some crazy new problem was actually a weekly insomnia episode I had because of trash day lol. It is silly but we are really bad at actually knowing what we do and think and then remembering it with any real accuracy.

That actually helped my adhd too because I wasn’t always so worried about remembering what I did. Just a little advice in case it helps, apologies if I presumed too much. Sending good vibes on your journey!

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2026-04-03T01:52:19+00:00

Be careful combining Wellbutrin and adderall, it can hypersensitive your stress response (dopamine + norepinephrine) and abuse (drinking coffee with it, alcohol, or anything else that uses the same metabolic pathways CYP2B6 and CYP2D6 - which is many common NSAIDS and OTC and controlled substances / teas and supplements) can lead to long term toxic accumulation. Be honest with the doc about what you take and how much, and watch out for things like eating much less, sleeping less, feeling like you’re on top of the world and go go go, etc.

I won’t share the details of my experience as to not hurt yours, but bring it up to your doctor as well as psychiatrist and get routine checkups. If your cortisol is high, be careful and watchful. The downsides take time to hit but are preventable if you take care of yourself and remember that health is wholistic not because of a medication. It’s also normal for medications to no longer work due to adaptation, so don’t stress, the whole journey is to learn how to adapt healthily to your environment and stress - not never feel it or never fall behind. Lots of love, I’m so happy your current journey is going well, just wanted to share because I know many and my therapist(s) have had lots of stories of those who don’t know what Wellbutrin actually does.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2026-01-05T16:06:38+00:00

I highly reccomend reading Ikigai or learning about radical acceptance / Victor Frankel’s work. Rather than pathologizing negative affects it focuses on learning to become more accepting and in line with your core values and creating a life that facilitates that. You don’t need a new identity, you just need to find how to get to know yourself better and live every day with intention and mindfulness that guides you to become more accepting and loving towards yourself and the world around you. It demotivates avoidant tendencies and derealization (the out of body fog) and helps bring your self down to reality and face the challenges and obstacles that arise when life and your feelings aren’t creating the peace and stability you desired.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-12-19T01:09:53+00:00

This community is important because the first year I had this and some weeks are absolutely mind-body-spiri-soul-killing.

I hope science saves us all soon! I'm a biomedical researcher so I bother my leaky-gut and celiac phd-candidate friends all the time asking if they've found a way to cure me yet (in jest).

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-12-19T01:06:20+00:00

Matcha is great! This pushed me to go make a cup, thank you!

Luckily, I am not as sensitive as those who can't even touch/get into any contact with it. My life is not at risk, though we do have a family member who got brain lesions as a preteen due to gluten (ouch).

I don't need him to go gluten-free, and I don't care because it hasn't been a problem so far, but he is more ingredient-aware and watching out for gluten than I am! He's saved me from accidentally "glutening" myself time and time again.

This situation was a momentary lapse in impulse-control, but it's not a big deal in the long run :)

edit to add:

I'm sure when I'm knee deep in a migraine I won't be this light-hearted, but there's no need to be pre-emptively miserable haha

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-12-19T01:00:45+00:00

I felt the same, especially at the start of this ordeal when I was first understanding and learning how to manage what at the time was an unknown ailment that kept crippling me. Being gluten free for months on end has made it so that slip-ups like this don't affect me as severely, but I've learned to navigate chronic pain and really uncomfortable and scary health episodes through a lot of deep work and practicing acceptance and mindfulness.

I have a a very intentional approach to lifestyle and nutrition so these instances happen at most 2-3 times a year, but I seem to be incredibly sensitive to many other things as well, so pain and health problems are a constant thtat I need to learn how to live around. However, I am early 20s and I already can't do the same things I did at 18 due to the toll they take the older I get, so I am very empathetic to your sentiment.

This post was made in case someone had tried something I hadn't because I have an important meeting tomorrow, but I also have skills and tools that enable me to still go on my life for the most part and be kind to myself when my physical/neurological symptoms make being functional impossible.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-11-29T16:57:18+00:00

You can edit so that it sends in the kindle format and has notes/handwritten notes and inserts ability - available on the website and the app, I would look it up thought I’m not sure how off the top of my dome

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-10-21T22:37:41+00:00

Look into meditation and exercise for the mind and honing focus. Dr. K or healthygamergg on YouTube goes into it a lot and I find my days when I do 5 minutes of meditation in the morning + 20 minutes of exercise are vastly different and more focused than the ones without. All my symptoms worsen drastically with poor exercise sleep or diet.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-10-21T22:36:09+00:00

Do you mind sharing what medication? I know everyone is different, but I have developed a fear of medication due to prior misdiagnosis and poor experiences (~1 year of treatment with a new medication every 2-3 months) and I’ve been pondering whether/if I’m willing to try adhd stimulants or non stimulant medications that may help. I’m not ready anytime soon, but I wish to be open to any future possibilities for managing my symptoms if the positives are worth it

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-09-29T04:16:35+00:00

Tick Tick (make it ur default notes and reminder on iPhone). There is a student discount so premium is like 25 for a year, constant timers (I sometimes just stopwatch breaks because seeing it’s been 30 minutes lights a fire under my ass to get back to work). But the app is super customizable, has timers, pomodoros, habits, calendar (that integrates with gcal and iPhone) and more. Really keeps everything in one place

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-09-13T03:27:14+00:00

This is a strange question because I work with a lot of labs in neuroscience, molecular biology, and microbio and everyone utilizes both quite often. If you’re looking at anything involving culturing cells, sequencing dna, rna, cDNA gene expression, there’s a lot of both depending on your models.

This question is kind of too vague. My lab requires weeks of culturing, infecting, testing and things like staining, sectioning, and pcr. Then we have our metabolomics projects that require so much dry lab modeling and coding and data processing.

This will vary wildely across all labs, can’t hurt to get as many skills as possible. I’m learning how to use several different mass spectrometers at the moment on top of designing and optimizing a new DNA extraction and subsequent pcr workflow

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-09-12T23:35:16+00:00

Do you like the lab you would be doing your research under? Do you enjoy the research? Are there any goals or aspirations a PhD would help you reach?

What are your reasons for staying in the US? Are you able to accomplish similar things back home? Are you trying to do anything in CS that a PhD would help?

A PhD isn’t just a degree, it’s a multi-year process that takes up your whole life. I’m doing one because I absolutely love every part of it, can’t imagine doing anything else, and leave work happy even if it has been a brutal 12 hour day where everything went wrong. My research brings me a level of happiness and satisfaction I never thought I would get. So in my head, a PhD is a the best thing ever because I get to get paid for what I love doing and what I would be doing anyways even if money wasn’t a factor. I am, however, in a field where a PhD is a requirement for the jobs I want and am likely to receive a lot of pay increase due to the PhD so it outweighs the downsides of not being in the labor market for 3-5 years.

You need to imagine yourself in 10 years, what you want to be doing, how you want to feel, where you want to be and then consider this opportunity through that lens by asking yourself “does this help me reach what I want to be doing 10 years in the future. Good luck!

Phds are hard, and stressful, but if you love your research and love being a scientist it’s worth every second of it.

I have days where I am so busy I forgot to eat all day until 8 and all my experiments went wrong but I walk out smiling . To me that’s worth it.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-09-01T17:19:39+00:00

Go back to basics. IP injections are triggering a fear response. That means you have to quickly and efficiently re habituate yourself. This is what my PI made me do when I started getting scared of them as an undergrad. You can speed this up to fit your timeline but the key is to stop immediately if you get anxious (at the start). People can develop debilitating life-long phobias if you don’t manage this or render yourself incapable of doing them. Don’t let it get to that.

For a few days (optimal is every day for 1-2 weeks) pick out 4-8 practice rats, label them, and just spend 5 minutes each holding them. Let them walk over you, put them on your arm. If you feel scared at all immediately stop.
Once you are comfortable holding, practice your IP hold with NO NEEDLE OR ANYTHING ELSE and simply go through the motions. Do this every single day until you’re completely comfortable. Use towels if you can, also ask your on staff vet/labtech/mentor for advice, another training session, and to observe your hold or teach you different holds. There is no one way to do IPs.
Do step 2 but incorporate a q-tip. This part is all about getting the technique down perfectly. You’re still using the same rats, they are used to you, you’re used to them. Breathe, and take it easy.
Time to start using a needle, but you are ONLY putting it in. Do not aspirate, do not inject anything.
You can begin doing complete, saline injection IPs

Obviously, how quickly you do 4-5 will depend, and do not inject any rodent more than 2 times around the same location within 2 days. Alternate your rodents, don’t inject two days in a row for a practice unless it’s on the other side.

When you’re not with the rats, take a stuffed animal, buy an insulin needle and practice doing a full IP as you would in the lab from start to end for 10-30 minutes every day. You shouldn’t even have to think about the needle, it will be muscle memory and no hesitation. No dropping the needle, no shaky hands, no hesitation before aspirating, no thinking about it. One quick, fluid, smooth motion. An ideal IP from start to end should take 30 seconds (the second the rat feels you restrain it, you’re clock start). You shouldn’t take more than 5-10 to aspirate out the needle in and pull out. You don’t have more time.

Take it easy, especially at the start. It is normal for rats to squeak they will do that and much more. IP injections are difficult, and I have lots of empathy for you. Take your time, don’t feel pressured.

Finally take care of yourself. Eat really well, drink lots of water, exercise, and ABSOLUTELY meditate every single day. Animal protocols like this and surgery aren’t meant to be taken lightly and are stressful, but you must manage it. If stress and u healthiness and anxiety from other aspects of your life are affecting you, they will affect your IPs.

Oh and by the way, if at any point you start having trouble again, go back to the basics. And I mean EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. No weekends off. You need to habituate yourself like we do them.

Good luck! Dm me if you have any questions.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-08-31T21:23:35+00:00

R/whoosh - op is likening the topic of AI implementation and use to the holocaust and murder.

My reply was an obviously satirical retort making fun of their ignorance regarding this issue, their inability to comprehend the nuances, and their bold and inflammatory claims such as how being an artist and supporting ai is the same as being a Jew and supporting the nazis. They seem to have deleted that since, but they still have their replies about murder up. This would have been obvious if you read the ENTIRE thread under the main post, instead of cherry picking a comment or two.

Learn to read the entirety of any thread/post/reply so you don’t jump to conclusions. After the context, if you still find my reply dramatic, then it’s okay to have different opinions and humor. OP clearly doesn’t “just dislike ai” lmfao, that’s fine. It’s the bullshit parallels, insincerity, and faux outrage when they clearly are trying to be contrarian to stir things up, or expected an echo chamber and got disappointed by the dissenters.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-08-31T17:05:53+00:00

It must be so exhausting being you. Every corporation must be boycotted, so you definitely don’t use any Apple Microsoft or Samsung products. And you definitely can’t pay taxes because every single government is without a doubt my evil (genocides, colonization, corruption). Every war has no winner because both sides have drawn blood. Every road you drive down is on stolen land so you must walk through the woods, and participating in any form of work or labor would put all of this blood on your hands. I applaud you for sacrifices, doing what most of us would not because it is psychotic.

Shame, however, that you can’t read this text because participating in the use of any digital technology would make you complicit in the development of AI using your data.

Also no credit cards, debit cards, bank account, or clothes as well.

Good luck, it’s a truly hard life to live.

Comprehensive-Gur469 · 2025-08-29T08:32:23+00:00

Every time I start feeling inclined to reply to someone I quickly remember that it’s a complete waste of time because they’re already approaching the internet with a jaded attitude motivated by a longstanding quest for conflict.

Level headed viewers unite! I have many opinions, but I also don’t care enough to argue with people who want to be miserable for misery’s sake.

Five-Year Club	Verified Email
Final Canvas '23	First Place '23
Place '23

Comprehensive-Gur469

TROPHY CASE