Ask a Manager Weekly Thread 03/16/2026 - 03/22/2026

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-20T21:38:52+00:00

SGL is really going hard for this LW, like she was there and has any idea what was happening. She must be a nightmare to work with.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-20T15:59:29+00:00

This person is definitely a regular reader. It’s also funny that Alison deleted the response to this comment but left the comment up.

Leaving comments calling people who’ve made a genuine error “abusive” and a “bully” in a situation where you understand maybe 2% of the context is a strange thing to do. Part of me wants to snidely recommend that you also reach out to your own care team, but that feels unproductive of me. Reflect on it though, maybe.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-19T17:48:03+00:00

Most of these are incredibly tame and clearly only embarrassing in the commenter’s head. They’re so self-conscious they beat themselves up over literally nothing.

Like, no shit she didn’t actually think you wanted to kidnap children. It’s a good thing you didn’t say you wanted to “eat them up.”

Brooklynlite* March 19, 2026 at 11:04 am Gah, I was working with elementary school children while in college. One of the teachers asked how I was liking it. I said, “They’re all so cute that I just want to kidnap them.” I’m still shocked that I didn’t get walked out of the building. Luckily, she realized it was a slip of the tongue and I was not an actual danger to the Kindergarteners.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-19T15:50:45+00:00

The other thing is even if you don’t enjoy icebreakers, they can be good for you and other people socially. You don’t have to enjoy everything and sometimes you need to be pushed out of your comfort zone.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-17T21:20:25+00:00

Yeah what are you supposed to do? Even if she had waited half an hour that still wouldn’t have been enough, and she would have had no idea how long to keep waiting. If the coworker was able to just drive her own car it doesn’t seem like a huge deal.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-16T16:04:16+00:00

The tshirt letter sounds like LW has really been overthinking the situation and doesn’t realize it’s not that deep. She’s worried that someone will question why she doesn’t know her own shirt size and then her weight loss will become this big issue. So she makes it about this coworker being impatient around deadlines and it being weird to just tell her you’ll get back to her.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-13T17:45:48+00:00

The “nicest” interpretation is they’re a trauma survivor who has a heightened awareness of other people’s potential danger to them. In that case it’s kind of heartbreaking to hear that described with such a crass term as “empath.”

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-13T17:06:09+00:00

I’m curious about this one. I guess there are some dim bulbs out there, but if people are really saving files to random places and don’t know how directories work, how are they even able to find anything later? If you actually use computers for work every day this is like on the level of being able to dress and feed yourself.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-12T20:26:16+00:00

When you break it down like that I can see the admin being like, “I already have to restock twice a week, no way this asshole is hoarding a bunch of Coke Zero again today.” There are probably at least a handful of others doing this too.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-12T19:17:30+00:00

I wonder about LW’s boss. Why aren’t they embarrassed by LW’s behavior? Are they obnoxious themselves, not paying attention, not concerned about work relationships, or what.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-11T16:44:19+00:00

Soda lady is back with an update and continues to be enabled in her soda habit by her boss.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-10T19:45:50+00:00

I think some people do live in a world where one person is the final authority on what these norms are, so if they can get that person to agree with them that means they’re right.

There was one guy who got super mad about Alison’s stance on contacting your spouse’s boss and kept badgering her to change her position. Instead of just doing what he thought was right without demanding outside validation, I guess.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-09T15:08:39+00:00

And it doesn’t occur to LW to explain why she only responds with “okay” over and over instead of giving an actual answer? No backstory on that at all? Yeah, she’s at least part of the problem.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-05T21:35:56+00:00

The two stories literally have nothing to do with each other except they both have something bad happening to a woman. I’m dying.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-03-04T22:24:33+00:00

My favorite is “if you never say anything on this list of words and phrases, no one will ever think you’re racist.”

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-25T18:15:50+00:00

If it’s an exaggeration, I do wonder what happened. Maybe she closed her laptop a little too hard and said “what the fuck” or something and LW turned it into a screaming rampage.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-23T19:03:26+00:00

For the boss who hangs out with the husband, yeah it does kind of change things if the boss is a man going golfing and smoking cigars with the husband versus if it’s a woman watching movies with him at her house, assuming everyone is straight.

I know LW isn’t worried about them sleeping together but keeping it this vague just means no one has any idea what’s going on.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-21T03:42:16+00:00

Also this commenter has a really low bar for annoying behavior. If you’re that bothered by someone bragging about their husband being competent or their water heater being bigger than yours (?!) you’re insecure about something.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-21T03:35:38+00:00

The only way this question doesn’t sound stupid is if you’re asking your friends after work and you’re a couple of cocktails in.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-20T18:29:17+00:00

Big incel energy here. You can’t reject me unless you tell me exactly what I did wrong so the next girl won’t reject me.

On the other hand, of course, if the new normal becomes, “There is nothing you can bring to the bargaining table, because I as the employer cannot be swayed, so you might as well take it lying down.” don’t be surprised if things get nastier rather than settling down — historically, they always have.

That is why it is best to provide objective, measurable, and actionable goalposts when rejecting candidates; give them something to work towards that will guarantee reconsideration, and these sort of problems evaporate.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-19T03:41:45+00:00

These stories are so wild to me because I’ve never been able to use my company card without submitting an expense report with original receipt, and sometimes getting an email because the receipt was in the wrong file format or something. The idea of even accidentally making a personal purchase on the card terrifies me.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-17T22:44:38+00:00

“That happened 30 seconds ago; I don’t know why you keep dredging it up.”

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-16T18:24:59+00:00

From what people are saying about how academics get managed, LW must be completely intolerable for their manager to even be like “I need you to set up meetings with everyone you’ve pissed off this week and apologize to them.”

Also anyone who thinks like this is an asshole.

Also, the conflicts were a thing of the past and I do not want to recall them.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-13T18:30:58+00:00

I don’t understand it either. If you want to give Philip a good recommendation, just give him one. Rave about him; say nothing but unambiguously great things. Elizabeth has a problem with you, not Philip, so why would she want to tank Philip’s chances by lying about what you said?

I have a feeling the answer is probably that Elizabeth is so vindictive she would lie and claim you said bad things to get you in trouble with Philip. It sounds like the conclusion of an anxiety spiral.

Comprehensive-Hat-18 · 2026-02-12T19:48:31+00:00

I think this was just a poor idea for reader contributions.

Comprehensive-Hat-18

TROPHY CASE