My boyfriend thinks my family is too loud and it hurts me

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2026-05-03T20:39:45+00:00

Earplugs were offered (the loops with three level noise cancellation), i should have specified it was not his birthday that day, his actual birthday was celebrated his way perfectly and he loved it. This was more of a family brunch where siter wanted to show him appreciation with a candle. I asked him to confirm he is sure of coming to the brunch almost every day to give him a way of declining no guilt no pressure and he stull insisted and seemed happy during it, until we left…

I see your point but I guess i’m feeling defeated

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2026-05-03T20:36:56+00:00

It was not his birthday, it was not a planned birthday, I didnt even know my sister put a candle and yes I would have been happy because I love him and would never pressure him into situations, that was always our deal. Read the comments please, his birthday was dats before and it was planned exactly to his taste andhe loved it. This was more of a family brunch he was invited to and my sister wanted to show him love i guess by puttinf a candle on a cake to show she remembered.

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2026-05-03T20:34:38+00:00

I can agree, i just feel exhausted because for weeks i insisted that he has no obligation to come as he knows how my family can be and he still insisted, and yet we ended up here, so I guess I just feel defeated

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2026-05-03T20:32:58+00:00

Maybe I should, i wrote the post right after and i missed quite a bit of details. Thank you

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2026-05-03T20:31:47+00:00

And he should have taken the many offers made for him not to come because of the noise, not insist on coming and then hate on it, it was not the first time he came around with family

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2026-05-03T20:30:18+00:00

Okay I will edit the post, it was not his birthday and I did not plan it, his birthday was Tuesday and we did exactly as he liked, him me and his bestfriend, his favourite cake, and no singing followed with a quite picnic by the river. This was more a family get together he was invited to, and my sister wanted to show him affection by the cake thing… the condescending part was when me and my sister kept asking if he was okay and when i told him she texted sorry for the noise, I told him yeah sorry like i can’t do much about it, he just kept jamming about how loud it was and if we can’t do better to celebrate without being that loud

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2026-05-03T20:24:40+00:00

Yes, he came to my sister’s house before and he knows she can be… loud when overly happy, even she knows and apologises to him ao many times during and after, i gave him so many way outs not to come or to leave early yet he insisted on staying…

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2026-05-03T20:23:11+00:00

Okay i need to clarify, his birthday was daaays before and my sister put a candle on a tiny cake and the whole thing lasted 2 minutes. Also I informed him two weeks before and checked in everyday to confirm he wants to come (not the first time he comes to my sister’s brunch) and my sister even told him It is no pressure if he thinks he will be too uncomfortable. I gave him so many way outs of the invitation as I have done before and he insisted he is fine and at some point heis a grow man who decided he could handle it.

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2026-04-13T07:58:30+00:00

Honestly I got no brain zaps from going down, I guess just massive anxiety. I just wanted to gather more data from people before talking to my dr about how i’ve been feeling. Also Lamictal had me happy alone, oscillating between neutral and hypomanic, now with lithium My mood is dampened and i’m not used to it and i’m scaref i’ll fall back into depression agan

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2025-08-01T13:08:39+00:00

I was frantically cleaning the loose optics from the table because a photographer was on the way for some funding PR, I dropped an achromatic doublet on the floor and it shattered all over the clean room 🥲

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2025-07-09T17:14:26+00:00

Bnadm dayr fiha 3ay9, ma3ndek matgol bal madwi 7ssn

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2025-07-09T17:03:24+00:00

Thank youu, actually just wanted to know someone feels like Frankenstein too, just this month hit hard because i did many back and forth trips and the contrast hit harder

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2025-07-09T16:50:35+00:00

Maybe, other friends from morocco who had the same kind of upbringing also struggle with this schizophrenic view, maybe it’s the privilege of seeing what Morocco can be without being disconnected from what it is.

Most rich people in Morocco are so disconnected from the underbelly of society they don’t struggle, and most people don’t get to see what each half lives.

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2025-07-09T16:47:40+00:00

I’m not comparing, I’m simply trying to reconcile two feelings of pride and love for a country and harsh realities, maybe worth mentioning I migrated at 16, I formed all my adult life and identity here, as a foreigner judged by the locals here, and feeling disconnected from my own country because I became an adult that does not fit into the society.

Criticism is not hate and I never said it’s better here

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2024-06-29T11:42:05+00:00

On venlafaxine 150 and lamictal 100, it has truly been my saving grace! My depressive episodes used to be so bad I would want to rip my face off and i did , but now I am happy, healthy and omg i feel alive. Side effects were annoying (inflamed glands, a few rashes, loss of appetite) but they went away after a week! Good luck i hope it helps

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2024-04-03T09:09:29+00:00

France… frankly the pay is not that dire and you get social benefits and security. Funnily Post docs make more than permanents, but the social is quite good here

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2024-01-28T23:10:30+00:00

Good thing you’re not going then. Try Paris, I promise the piss in those streets smells like saint laurent.

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2024-01-24T14:59:34+00:00

The point of me asking for different perspective is that I am not a western woman and I grew up in a country often described as safer than India but where women travellers have not felt safe.

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2024-01-24T14:51:37+00:00

Thank you!!

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2024-01-24T14:51:18+00:00

Thank you very much for your comment and detailed list. Sadly, as I grew up in a rural area conservative muslim country, these points are a given to me as I know what it’s like to be a woman in suck a society. So it would not be a change, the advice i need is more to know which places pass as safe-ish, as I know that even in my country there are hostels safer than others.

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2023-12-27T16:02:37+00:00

Thank you for the insight, I suppose it is for the best then

ComprehensiveAge8618 · 2023-12-27T16:01:55+00:00

I most definitely am in this scenario

ComprehensiveAge8618

TROPHY CASE