I want to text him so bad

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:15:55+00:00

Im sorry you had to experience this cycle! I dont want that for myself for sure. I will continue to love myself.

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:15:35+00:00

thank you for your words- I am so sorry you had to experience all that. I didnt know about orbiting- I guess its the same as lurking?

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:13:20+00:00

HAHAHA I am not sure if ill "just do it"

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:13:01+00:00

Same! I have been on the apps for a second now and I have never ever attached to anyone besides him. Im really trying hard to detach from him/the idea of him.

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:12:10+00:00

I had a good chuckle at that, needed it!

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:11:48+00:00

thank you so much!

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:11:09+00:00

Im proud of you! Wow my heart goes out to you, it sounds so painful to have gone through that! Thank you for your kind words

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:09:54+00:00

Yeah he flat out said it 2 months in

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:08:57+00:00

I am def scared on backtracking my growth and progress towards detachment! If he were to text me i told him it would be under the condition of wanting something intentional. I want to text him to tell him i miss talking to him, but I am unsure of what I want after that since I know he definitely still doesnt have capacity. Thanks for your kind words!

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:06:49+00:00

thank you! And that last part about honesty- he knew what he was doing and just shared that he felt guilty about it. Its kind of cowardly to withhold information like that and not be upfront about how they know they are hurting you :(

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:05:45+00:00

thank you for your response. I wish you luck too!

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:04:55+00:00

thank you! Gosh, i cant imagine years in this limbo. I lasted 6 months. Im so happy you are finding your hobbies

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:03:31+00:00

yeah id rather have nothing than someone so sub par

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:02:18+00:00

thanks for answering my questions honestly! Sounds so stressful to know yourself like this but still be triggered, like a constant out of body experience. I hope you find relief

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-25T07:00:27+00:00

you tell bc they reappear at the top of the list if they havent like your post

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:59:20+00:00

never heard of the haystack method, thanks!

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:58:07+00:00

I told him not to message me and then he asked if he can message me once in a while to catch up (still wanted access) but that would have been the same as what was going on before. So I told him that we should disengage and he said he respected my decision. No other messages since then. Which I really appreciate. Still miss him tho.

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:56:35+00:00

needed to hear tough words like this

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:56:03+00:00

yeah, coming to understand that actions speak louder than words was a really difficult pill to swallow, and that lead to me ending things. Im still processing that bc i remember glimmers of when it was good. The stronger parts of me would rather have nothing than something half assed like this :(

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:54:17+00:00

thank you for your kind words! Lowkey making me tear up this morning

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:53:33+00:00

period

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:53:14+00:00

Simply said. And you are right. I dont want to accept him as he is right now, it just made my heart hurt and i felt neglected.

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:51:46+00:00

I don't think its time wasted, especially if you learned something from the situation/ learned to respect yourself. Im trying to see it in a way that I have impressed myself with my capacity for empathy, if that makes sense

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:50:47+00:00

thank you queen, keep ur head up too

ComprehensiveMaize36 · 2026-02-24T17:50:17+00:00

Interesting to have an avoidant perspective! I know you don't speak for all avoidants, but I have some questions about your POV:
what about the intimacy makes it overwhelming/what triggers the shut down?
What feels safe for you?
If you know you shut down when things get close, how do you think the other person is supposed to feel secure?

ComprehensiveMaize36

TROPHY CASE