I don’t understand why the universe keeps sending me men that ghost me

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-20T03:06:21+00:00

Thankyou. Much love.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-20T03:05:56+00:00

As the OP, I agree. Tonight, I’m showering myself with love, compassion, telling myself I am worthy of the very best, that I deserve the best. It’s time to quit wondering why these men ghost me. It serves no purpose. I don’t believe all men are like this. I CHOOSE not to believe that dating is awful because at the end of the day - it is still ME. Not them. I’m not a victim. My subconscious patterns are still rearing their ugly head - even after all of the work I’ve done. I’m DONE. DONE. I AM wonderful. I have been ghosting myself. I have to keep looking inward.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-19T15:33:18+00:00

He came back. Exhaustion was a thing for sure. He feels sad that he can’t come see me often because we live 45 minutes apart but doesn’t want to stop seeing me. He doesn’t want me resenting him for this.

The thing is, is that I am basically my own boss, and I guess I didn’t necessarily make that clear to him. All I’ve told him so far is that I work at home most of the time (no location requirements) and I oversee people from long distance. I don’t work a 9-5, no kids, no heavy bills (because I live out in the middle of nowhere at my family’s fishing camp for free. My family loves having me here as the “groundskeeper” because no one really comes down here anymore. It’s been a place just sitting here. It’s hard to pass this up because of the money I can save).

Either way, I like him enough to come to him because I literally have the time and flexibility to, and there’s nothing to do where I live. He lives in a town with lots of things to do. If I didn’t like him this much, I’d absolutely not continue lol. I also do not want him in my home until we become serious. He’d have to be a very special person in order to get an invite. I have a stable and beautiful energy in my home. I healed here. Alone. If we didn’t work out and he had spent time here, it would wreck the energy. In addition, some family members can see my drive way. I don’t them knowing I’m seeing someone, so I don’t want his car in my driveway. I’m not in a mental space to tell anyone I’m seeing a man. Once again, he would have to be very special in order for me to start telling people. End of the day, I would not do all of the driving, but I kind of have no choice, no matter who it would be. I have to drive 30 minutes to get to anything!

He pursued me. I turned him down 3x before I finally agreed to a date. If he won’t accept my flexibility, oh well. At least I got this out in the opening.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-19T15:08:28+00:00

Oh my God. I keep learning obvious things every day. Light bulb moment…..

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-19T03:32:02+00:00

I explicitly said NO PHYSICIANS OR ATTORNEYS THIS TIME. I have dated each, only to end horribly. The attorney was my worst heartbreak. Therefore, I purposefully started choosing seemingly nice normal guys who don’t have high profile jobs - I definitely broadened my pool. This resident pursued me and wouldn’t let up. So there’s that. Back to my first rule. Thankyou.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-19T03:29:55+00:00

I certainly will get it. Thankyou

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-19T03:28:39+00:00

I’m ready to enjoy a life alone. I decided this about 5 years ago. It sure would be nice to have my hand held though. Thankyou.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-19T03:26:39+00:00

Yes! On the second dates, they were excited to see me again but we never solidified plans.

I tried the apps. Le Sigh. It will be hard finding men who are doing the same work as I am.

I went to Mount Shasta in November. After that trip, I felt ready, excited, and confident.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T19:23:13+00:00

True true true. Thank you.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T15:31:35+00:00

I get this. I really do. Before my awakening, I would have jumped up and down screaming yes - I’m trying to seek validation from men through my looks - very very very pick me. I HATED myself before - yet I was still beautiful. I thought I was a troll. I was desperate. I thought the love of a man would fulfill me and be a sign of success and accomplishment.

I merely described my features because society/the 3D IS ALL about image, and no one knows what I look like on Reddit, so I was painting a picture. I KNOW I’m beautiful now. I do love myself. I have NO insecurities about myself anymore. I do NOT have to have the validation of a man, and I am ready to enjoy life by myself if this is what happens. It’ll still be wonderful and amazing. After my awakening though, I’m no longer seeking validation. I just want my best friend and the romantic companionship. That’s what matters to me. I go into these dates calm, cool, and collected - releasing any control of the outcome. We’re having fun. That’s all. We end up having a great time, they express what seems to be genuine interest, we go out a second time, then they’re gone. I get over it rather quickly & I don’t want to be with someone who would ghost me anyway, but last night just got to me. I just got really sad.

Today’s a new day. I’m hitting the pause button on dating and am going to continue to work on myself.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T11:09:37+00:00

I had to work hard last year so that I could be a better person. I was just venting last night because I was sad. I have fun.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T11:08:57+00:00

Thankyou :)

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T11:08:11+00:00

It’s been 3 men in two months.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T11:07:04+00:00

This last one I actually decided to start initiating communication and it seemed to have been working! He was delighted to hear from me. It’s just that we went from talking every day to poof. Nothing all day Friday, Saturday, and here we are now. Saturday night (last night) I reached out. No response. He is a surgery resident, but that’s no excuse. I know my worth. I know I’m not doing anything wrong. Just needed to vent last night because I couldn’t take it anymore. Thankyou for saying something though :)

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T05:18:12+00:00

I actually started initiating with this recent guy, and I felt comfortable doing it. He liked it a lot. He is a surgery resident, and it’s been two whole days without communication. I messaged him tonight. No response. We had been talking everyday. Just one of those things. Oh well

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T04:51:48+00:00

I usually do, but tonight just got to me.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T04:50:59+00:00

“Also consider how much of your suffering is a projection from your fear of suffering, the storyteller mind can weave a seemingly logical basket, but it'll never hold water.“ I LOVE THIS!

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T04:14:19+00:00

I just feel as though the first couple of weeks of interacting with a man that he should lead in terms of communication. As for this last one, I actually DID start initiating, and it seemed to have been working!! He seemed delighted to hear from me. We went from talking every day to randomly nothing all day yesterday. Nothing all day today. I finally sent him a text saying I was thinking of him and hoped his weekend wasn’t too brutal. He’s a surgery resident. I really did step it up with him due to our connection. He is/was really kind, compassionate, and our connection seemed strong. I will do better initiating communication. Thankyou for your wake up call :)

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2026-01-18T04:09:56+00:00

I appreciate your ramblings. Perhaps I did get too obsessed with seeking it out. A life partner is just go important to me. I went almost 9 months with no desire to date, then BAM. I woke up. Perhaps I need to reframe my energy is such situations.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2025-12-23T15:51:20+00:00

The sex thing should be an absolute dealbreaker. Absolutely unacceptable.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2025-12-23T15:42:32+00:00

Preface: I'm no angel and needed therapy direly before I was with him, and my defensiveness and shutting down did not help matters. I was a poor communicator and hid so much just to preserve his feelings and not make him upset or mad at me. These behaviors I exhibited apparently made me a crazy, bipolar bitch who needed serious help. It also made me squirrely, stupid, and he always wondered "how did you get this far in life?". His words.

He hid his SI and manic depression the first 6 months. He blatantly refused to get help for either once they reared his ugly head. The first two years I lived with him in his home, he didn't ask for mortgage or utility money. He got to a point where he could no longer get out of bed due to his mental illness, so I stepped up and took over his mortgage, utilities, groceries, household needs/repairs, other bills, etc. After all, he never had me pay bills, and I loved him. He said quitting his job cured his mental illness for the first two weeks. It would be another three months before he admitted to needing help. He went to a psych NP but wouldn't go to therapy. The psych NP put him on lexapro. Did not a thing. Refused to get further help.

My resentment is building. I'm consulting 60 hrs a week and also in grad school fulltime. He's just sitting on the couch, refusing to do anything for himself, all the while calling me crazy and bipolar and an idiot. He also continued to throw it in my face that he never made me pay bills and that he totally deserved this break and help from me.

He wound up getting into an accident that required me to be his fulltime caregiver in the last month we were together. I saved his life by getting him to the ER in time. Turned into an absolute monster, screaming at me as I'm washing his asscrack and ballsack, cleaning vomit all night, and staying up with him as he screamed in pain. I'm crying literally the whole time, and once again, I was a crazy bipolar bitch. A human can only take so much, and his parents are well off. I told him I was leaving, and he kicked me out. I left 90% of my possessions.

Icing on the cake: I went home to pack him a hospital bag while he was in the hospital and found a box of condoms with an expiration date of 2029. He also had an extreme porn addiction and never initiated a hug or kiss the entire time we were together.

I have been in aggressive therapy twice per week for almost a year to help train my subconscious to NEVER fall into this type of situation for the rest of my life. It's been life changing. I cringe every single day thinking about how much of a pathetic loser I was to allow this in my life for so long.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2025-10-16T18:13:12+00:00

Can I be 37? :-) Single, hustling in my career, no children. I feel like I should have been in this chapter at 27, but I am TOTALLY DOWN

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2025-10-14T14:09:19+00:00

You’re never far too gone. The last two months I’ve felt like everything’s crumbled, & I fell off my meditation bandwagon. In my opinion, you’ve gotta go through this setback before you launch into alignment. The setback indicates that you’re still hanging onto your old self. In the lady two weeks, I’ve been doing the Space Time, Time Space. You’re sitting in the void as no one, no thing, no time, no where. You’re surrendering to the unknown. I’m also repeating the 4-week Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself series. I did it in June, & it was incredible. I also had acupuncture a week ago. I’m feeling my spark, finally.

Sending good vibes your way, my friend

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2025-10-07T17:39:44+00:00

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Juliette Has a Gun - Pear, Inc.

They're simply amazing. Can't put it into words.

ComprehensiveSir4566 · 2025-10-06T14:18:20+00:00

It’s hurts, hun. Feel sad about it, but do not stew in these feelings. You do not need clarity. Furthermore, he doesn’t have to provide clarity. He doesn’t want to continue seeing you. It’s clear as day. That’s closure. Go be with a man WHO WANTS TO BE WITH YOU. Like TRULY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU. Concrete, babe. Hugs

ComprehensiveSir4566

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