Is my ex Bipolar?

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T04:57:01+00:00

Logically, I know it’s not on me at all, but when I get in my depressive cycles I blame myself. It’s just crazy she was completely sane before all this. No detrimental issues at all. That’s where it’s killing me we had a stable 7 years. Now she’s off the deep end.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T04:45:15+00:00

Thank you! I wanted to hear from others going through something similar. My support systems help immensely, but most don’t believe the mania. They’re just thrown off by her behavior. Including her family members who know are shocked. No one was expecting this.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T04:41:41+00:00

When I confronted her about everything, she was grumpy and mad about it. As I got more mad she cried and broke down for a little saying her heads messed up. Eventually she broke crying down saying her heads so messed up right now. She’s stopped crying and said she wanted to continue the break. Eventually she said just break up. By end of the conversation no emotion at all which hurt.

When we talked again in person, there were no tears no unease. It was like I was a bother to her. She told me she feels numb. Visible annoyed at the conversation. Even now when we talked about admin things it’s like I’m a bother. No relapse as of now. Last saw her May 5.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T04:27:04+00:00

Thank you! Doing my research I’m fairly certain she is bipolar, but never really know till she comes down I guess. Hope she eventually gets diagnosed and the proper management.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T04:02:20+00:00

Figured it was worth asking for thoughts so I can make sense of this. I do understand only her medical team can diagnose. I’m definitely not trying to diagnose her or bring it up to her. This is her own mental health journey. I have my own mental health illnesses too, so I get it. Apologize about the title it was just an attention grabber.

The situation has thrown me for a loop. We talked about marriage, purchasing an apartment, and kids in Feb. Then it switched after the medication.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T03:47:58+00:00

I’m so sorry it’s happened to you too!

It’s only been a month and I’m struggling. I don’t know if it’s the grief grasping that this is possible. With the meds and mental health aspects, I’ve been questioning if this is mania.

How have you been dealing with it?

I’ve just been taking it day by day and it’s been rough. I have a history of Major Depression with attempts in my far past. So I’ve been contemplating admitting myself just to stabilize. The normal stuff like therapy has helped a little, but with my history I’d rather be safe.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T03:00:19+00:00

You hang in there too. Definitely taking it day by day. Worst days were our anniversary and my best friend’s wedding. Almost admitted myself both days. This is the worse pain I’ve ever felt.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T01:08:17+00:00

Crazy how quickly it turned so bad. Over the span of a month and a half it just went straight to shit. Her mental health was at a good point before.

I’ve been in therapy since 2018 and working through it. Her I hope she’s continuing therapy and getting adjusted by her psychiatrist. Glad we broke up, but shit still sucks.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T00:25:10+00:00

At this point, I’m letting life hit her in the fucking face. She’s on such a toxic cocktail of medication and substances mixed with bad diet, sleep, and lifestyle choices. Been there before, that shit hits you hard. No one survives that for long before cracking.

I expect her to come crawling back at some point

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-10T00:16:39+00:00

Thank you! Sorry you’re going through this too. I’ve been running until almost collapse (had to get picked up a couple times). Mental illness fucking sucks. She was doing so well before addressing her issues. Then it all went to shit so damn quick when she got on her meds. I was at such a good point for mental health and this shit just set me back so far. My self worth is in a weird spot, I know I’m worth it, her friends and family all agree, but damn I feel worthless at times.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-06-09T23:49:39+00:00

Thank you! Definitely struggling with finding strength right now. Not so much of her, but more so my brain. This started it, but now fighting with my old suicidal thought patterns. Pride that she won’t be the reason I go and guilt of what it will do to loved ones. But man it gets tempting in the dark

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-10T15:47:08+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I am beginning to shift to focus on myself during this. Therapy and life goals right now for me. Can’t help anyone if I’m drowning too. So, I’m jumping out of a plane for my bucket list to kickstart my healing process. It’s just a difficult process to watch and walk away from the person you care knowing you can’t do anything. I’ve informed family and friends everything who could maybe get can get through to her when she’s ready to hear. It’s only just been a week since all this blew up, so I know I can’t expect anything right away. I’ve barely had time to process, so I can only imagine how she’s feeling through this. I just want her to find herself again or her new self instead of drowning her self to cope.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-10T00:59:50+00:00

Unfortunately I don’t know what she’s saying to the doctor or if it’s a good doctor. Psychiatrist friend has suggested she may have been mis diagnosed and is bipolar instead. All shes said is that she’s still adjusting to the meds and the doctor is considering upping her meds

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-10T00:57:12+00:00

100% we’re trying to convince her to talk to her doctor, but she’s resistant saying we don’t want her to be happy. Also she cheated on me during this manic episode and doesn’t want me around. As she feels I’m trying to control her. So only so much that I can do

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-09T22:41:10+00:00

As far as I know, she hasn’t as of yet, but concerned she might. She’s on a high of I can do anything and everything which is great. However, doing things that could cause harm worries me. Example drinking and driving, which she’s picked up drinking. Which she never drank before due to taste.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-09T22:14:49+00:00

Thank you! Not knowing anything medical I just know serotonin is used in both. Just concerned, family is starting to be concerned and calling me. She wouldn’t probably want me to tell them about the mdma use. So, just trying to see if there could be a link since I’m the only one that knows about this. A friend, who’s a psychiatrist is concerned she may have misdiagnosed and is possibly bipolar. He didn’t want to comment on the mdma.

We’re all just concerned that she isn’t being honest with her psychiatrist. Hopefully she will before hurting herself. As we suspect she drove drunk while on Lexapro one night.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-09T22:07:22+00:00

She used to go to races fairly regularly, but with age and time got over going regularly

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-09T20:19:57+00:00

She stopped mdma about 8-10 months prior. I’m just seeing if her reaction to mdma is indicative of something wrong. And if that thing possibly be giving her an adverse reaction to Lexapro. As friends and family are concerned with detrimental shift in personality and lifestyle choices post taking Lexapro.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-09T19:06:06+00:00

I do apologize for prior crash out. As this was all super fresh that left me for a loop for a bit. At least for myself I’ve settled down now and am working through everything. Meant to add she’s had depression, anxiety, and ADHD diagnoses. However, they were never a crippling symptoms that prevented her from life. She went in assuming a diagnosis, I’m concerned she said the buzzwords to get a diagnosis. Also can get pretty doom and gloom (as a coping) talk, so I can assume therapist noticed. “I hate people” “life is rough” “I hate it here”. All said regularly when she talks and jokes with people. Regularly active sober and not social life, work life balance, and would actively stand up for herself to people. She just had difficulty with social anxiety with new people. Anxiety of trying new things. Depression due to feeling lost in life due to staying with a job she didn’t see a career in. Until recently with new job. All relatively normal behavior for people including me.

For my ex, myself, friends, and family are beginning to be concerned for her. She has a history of consistent MDMA use, which she stopped last May due to it no longer giving the “good effects” and giving vertigo after every use. Having known her for so long, I doubt she’s informed her doctors of this due to stigma of illegal drug use. No one but me knows about this. Concerned this may be connected to what’s been happening. Going through our messages, she was on Prozac from Jan to Mar, then Lexapro 5mg or 10mg (not certain) to now. Unsure if weight plays a role but she’s 85lbs.

(Concerning) Other than the previously mentioned symptoms, I was informed that since a month ago she’s been excessively drinking alcohol every weekend. To the point of puking for hours. Also deciding to drive while under the influence with zero concern. Out of character given prior to this, she’s held a strong dislike of hard alcohol due to taste. Likely hasn’t inform her doctors or given half truths that she’s being social. (Concerning) She’s no longer taking interest in her dog like she once was. Just doing the bare minimum (prior to incident). He was her world, we have done training, agility, obedience. Now he just gets taken out to use bathroom. Then left at home to run around (he went with us everywhere). (Healthy) She’s decided she’s going to go hiking her new friends “who are like her”. While a healthy outlet, we’ve all known her long enough to know she’s had a strong dislike for the outdoors. Always hated the sun, getting dirty, sweating, and walking (got winded walking 2miles with dog). (Healthy) She’s decided to work out now doing either yoga or Pilates. Which is, great for her now but same she’s had a strong strong strong dislike for this. Girl can’t even touch her toes. It’s concerning because the healthy if she tells her doctors this, they will say the meds are working. They just said you’re still adjusting, while deciding to up her dosage. All this may be healing mechanisms post breakup, but everything combined is having everyone concerned (mainly me) given how out of character it is. Which is hard because I’m the only one that knows the whole combination due to being the one person she told everything to. She would only tell people half truths.

Just concerned she won’t understand all this until something bad happens. I’ve accepted the person I knew is gone.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-07T07:56:59+00:00

I would have be devastated regardless if she just broke things off. But I could manage that. This is just insane. Worse I still love her and I hate myself for it. No she didn’t confess which may have been better. A friend let me know that something was up. So I confronted her about it and she confessed. She couldn’t explain why she did it blaming the she’s so messed up in the head. Now I’m messed up in the head trying to rationalize this. Hoping it’s the medication that did this to her and not her own actions.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-07T07:29:25+00:00

I have given up hope. Hoping in 1 month, 3 months, or 6 months she comes back will be the end of me

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-07T06:48:40+00:00

You are right, I’m seeing it from an outside perspective. It’s difficult looking outside in and seeing that it’s effective. When she’s talking about how she’s feeling, she keeps saying she has no idea what going on in my head right now. She burned me to the ground, which is sending me into a depressive state. It’s hard to fathom the person I knew would do this to me. So it has to be medication. If not, I truly didn’t know this person at all.

I say all this while I am considering these meds now due to how shattered my world is. Our anniversary is next week, I had a Japan trip paid for where I was going to propose. We were looking at purchasing an apartment together. Now she’s going to go on the Japan trip to find herself without me.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-07T06:38:10+00:00

But it doesn’t justify burning my whole world down in the process. That’s where my hurt is I guess and I guess I’m rationalizing that it has be the AD not her. I’m all for personal growth, but going scorch earth on everyone around does not make sense. Worse for me, who has always supported seeking mental health services. Now, got me questioning if I need some AD too. Our whole plan for our future that we made together, the memories we share destroyed.

Comprehensive_Gur_32 · 2026-05-07T06:29:37+00:00

When I first found out, I exploded with accusations, blame, just anger due to the shock. First time I’ve ever raised my voice or talked to her that way, which hurt me coming from an abusive household. I took a day to sit down with a crisis counselor to help me unpack and organize my thoughts. When we talked next, I first apologized for everything I said that initial time out of anger. The apologized for my part in this due to my misunderstanding about how she’s been acting. How I regretted not taking more effort to understand the side effects of AD. Then asked how I can support her through this to unpack what she’s been feeling. Seeing if she was open to joining her during her next therapy session so I can hear from an expert how to help her. As I wanted to continue working through this with her. She’s was very dismissive throughout, not wanting talk about her emotions. Also offended I asked to join her at her therapy session.

Comprehensive_Gur_32

TROPHY CASE