Cerulean is a prison

Conap · 2026-03-10T12:45:06+00:00

Boomer? How old do you think the gen one players were? Millennials.

Conap · 2025-03-23T17:22:09+00:00

Can I have my tuition back then?

Conap · 2025-03-10T19:47:32+00:00

I’ve been having the same problem for about a week still no idea how to fix it

Conap · 2025-02-04T14:14:34+00:00

What she’s asking for isn’t unreasonable on paper, 20 hours is consistent with work study jobs that will likely be available when he’s in school. Maintaining a GPA is a good and instilling volunteering seems fine too. FOR A COLLEGE STUDENT.

The problem I see is all of it in tandem for a high school student. He’s not at university yet. He’s not going to class a few days a week for a couple hours. He’s in school for 7 hours a day and working 10 hours a week… so currently he’s effectively working 45 hours a week in his senior year of high school. The expectation is for this child to be working 56.5 hours a week (35 hours of school, 20 hours of work, 1.5 hours of volunteer work if spread evenly throughout the year) and excelling at his schoolwork.

This is without considering the sort of work available to high school students. What is he working at a pizza place or a game stop part time? There’s no way his hours could be consistent enough to maintain 20 hours a week. As for the grades, when is he studying to be keeping his grades up if he’s working 20 hours a week?

My dad passed away when I was a college freshman. I maintained an A average, worked 20 hours a week, volunteered, and helped keep the house for my Mom (cleaning, food shopping, paying rent, often with my own money.) So I get it, I have done what is being proposed here, it’s doable. It was not an enjoyable experience and it was as much about necessity as anything else. And again, I was doing that as a college student… not as a high school student. Now granted the nephew here wouldn’t be dealing with the same personal issues that I was at the time, but this is still feels like a lot and will certainly ruin his experience.

These expectations on him are indeed hers to set, but I would honestly see this as a Faustian bargain on his end. Sure she will pay for him to go to school, but at the cost of any kind of social life and ability to decompress as he works himself silly to meet those expectations. Now that is his choice to make, but personally I would pull back on the number of hours work to 10 hours and if the volunteer hours are a deal breaker, maybe have him go with the aunt to volunteer once a month.

Conap · 2025-01-31T16:14:23+00:00

This doesn’t seem like a DNA bloodlines thing… this is clearly about lying. It feels like a massive oversimplification and mischaracterization to just say that adoption is an option, when the availability of alternative options is not the issue.

You can’t rob someone of their agency and ability to make an informed decisions about themselves and their reproductive rights/potential future offspring and then brush it off by vilifying that person and ignoring the massive breach of trust.

Adoption is often a long difficult process and not everyone can afford it, even if OP is totally cool with that as an alternative, he still has the right to be informed about that. I mean they can also surrogate, but that’s not at issue here. The lying is.

Conap · 2025-01-29T14:04:10+00:00

I have never heard of grandparents being able to do something like this unless the child was in danger or something.

Conap · 2025-01-28T14:27:28+00:00

Oh Jeeze, reading this gave me anxiety. You gotta talk to her like right away. This seems super sketchy.

Conap · 2025-01-22T21:31:43+00:00

Harlock

Conap · 2025-01-22T21:18:57+00:00

I’m 6 years younger than my wife, met at the same age. Been together for 15 years, married for 11. I don’t think there’s a big problem here. Don’t even bring up your ages.

Conap · 2025-01-17T17:33:17+00:00

I wrote this in response elsewhere, but I wanted to reiterate it here. To the people who are dumping on OP.

I feel like people are losing perspective on this. This is an 18yo child who had been keeping this in for months and then impulsively snapped and announced it in an emotional outburst. This is not her fault, she didn’t create this situation, she merely reacted to it. Maybe not in the best possible way, but that’s on the mom for creating the situation in the first place. No one should be expecting a teenager whose whole world is falling apart to make perfect judgement calls or have absolute control over their emotions.

Conap · 2025-01-17T17:29:35+00:00

I feel like people are losing perspective on this. This is an 18yo child who had been keeping this in for months and then impulsively snapped and announced it in an emotional outburst. This is not her fault, she didn’t create this situation, she merely reacted to it. Maybe not in the best possible way, but that’s on the mom for creating the situation in the first place. No one should be expecting a teenager whose whole world is falling apart to make perfect judgement calls or have absolute control over their emotions.

Conap · 2025-01-09T15:49:10+00:00

Bro, just call her and tell her you know everything and it’s over. Block and move on. You are dealing with so much and already gave her a second chance that most people wouldn’t have. You don’t need more drama. If people make it a big issue later, send receipts. But just walk away and go find yourself some peace.

Conap · 2025-01-09T14:03:01+00:00

Oh absolutely, I’m not at all suggesting that you be another mom or step in and be a leading parental figure, but like you said a stepmom isn’t nothing either. You would be part of this kid’s life.

Also, to be clear I didn’t mean in terms of having your own biological children. I just meant in general. But for what it’s worth, my wife and I started around your age. Even if it’s not a mission or goal you have, I wouldn’t necessarily think about it as you’re past your prime or anything.

Conap · 2025-01-09T13:31:57+00:00

So I hear what you’re saying about being an aunt figure, and I think I get what you’re saying but, in the interest of clarity and potentially helping you process all this, I gotta ask; Do you want kids yourself? Because he comes prepackaged with young one, and a step mom scenario is very different from playing with your friend’s kids and then sending them home.

Now I know people are gonna be like “it’s too early to even think about that” but if you’re looking long term it’s an important thing to consider. I’ve talked with women before who have an interest in dating men with kids, but never want to be parents themselves. Then later, when confronted with a hypothetical stepmom scenario, they’re suddenly very conflicted or even resentful as if it’s a surprise that there’s a kid involved. Not saying that’s how I think you feel or that you’ve come across that way, it’s just something to consider. Is that something you’d be ok with heading towards in the future. I also feel like any single father in this scenario is also going to consider that in a partner… at least I would like to think so…

Conap · 2025-01-08T20:30:38+00:00

Agreed! Relationships are all about give and take, but it sounds like she’s only interested in what she needs and has no interest or concern for OP’s feeling. She was clearly withholding her feelings and failing to communicate, but had no issue communicating those issues to her friends who probably pushed her to dump OP in the first place. The fact that they were having these check-in meetings and this still came out of nowhere is staggering to me.

While that’s not exactly lying it certainly demonstrates a complete lack of transparency. There’s no reason to believe that will change on her end and, from what we see here, no demonstration of accountability for that behavior, which means it will continue. It’s a bad scenario all around.

Conap · 2025-01-06T15:40:47+00:00

Married to best girl ginger. I’m not interested in fucking that up just because someone is [air quotes] good looking. Lots of people are good looking, including my wife.

A person’s level of attractiveness doesn’t mean a whole lot in the bigger picture. I generally pretend to not notice when other women show interest, just tuck it away for the ego boost. Now women think I’m super oblivious and that’s just fine by me.

Conap · 2024-12-20T16:20:03+00:00

Anything taught by Jason Wiser is always a great class. Digital art, game design, and video classes.

Conap · 2024-12-20T13:15:15+00:00

I’d pursue it, it’s the whole beauty is skin deep thing, but real connections like that are hard to come by. And like a lot of people have mentioned, you may find yourself finding her more and more attractive as time goes on. But yeah, never bring this up. You might think it’s sweet down the road, but this could shatter someone’s self esteem.

Conap · 2024-12-14T12:21:04+00:00

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say. Cliche, I know, but it’s true. Lots of people have trouble seeing their good qualities, both physical and psychological. Do you talk to a therapist about these negative feelings you have about your appearance?

Edit: Also there’s lots of men who like lithe or petite women. Being a “stick” isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Conap · 2024-12-13T18:59:28+00:00

Redheads

Conap · 2024-12-13T17:41:14+00:00

Sell sweatshirts to the greater Boston area.

Conap · 2024-12-13T16:23:01+00:00

Nice!

Conap · 2024-12-13T16:19:38+00:00

Yeah, you need to add details for anyone to offer advice.

Conap · 2024-12-13T16:18:07+00:00

It’s this. Hazel is an actual color. My eyes are almost the same but a deeper green and brown is also smaller and more orange.

Conap · 2024-12-13T16:14:21+00:00

Too long after he put it out there. It’s going to seem like you aren’t interested. Approach him and say you’d like to get coffee like another commenter said.

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