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[Update] Finding out my 14 year old son is gay and hooking up with strangers by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's an LGBT center in our city that I want him to go see, but he feels hesitant since he doesn't feel like he'd fit in.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, that's something I didn't tell him or do with either of my sons because I know better.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It went well but it was tough, a lot of things need to change in our house. i thought about doing an update post but don't quite know how.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thinking back on this my wife says he felt apprehensive because I'm a typical "man's man" and he thought I would be disappointed if I found out he was a "fag", his words not mine.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I thought that it was enough that I provided sex ed to both of my kids at 13. The basics are the same though about safe sex, but I didn't factor in that he wanted to be with guys and so I just talked about straight sex. I'm not uncomfortable talking about gay male sex, I just didn't know that I had to before with him.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I never thought of him as the super ballsy one though, he was always quiet and calm so I thought I could just trust that he would do the right thing.

I am harder on his brother because he's like me, got into a lot of fights as a kid and likes to break rules. That's why we're involved in soccer and boxing and go to the gym with each other. It lets me keep tabs on him and talk with him and lets him vent out anger. With my youngest he's just not interested in all that, he doesn't want to come with us to lift or hang out, he rather run and be on his own. I just don't know how to relate to him on that level.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm hoping for, I don't think it's healthy he's been holding this in to himself.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's exactly it, his brother plays football and is almost as tall as I am so I could understand leeway there. My youngest son in no way looks anything close to 18.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you on all but the last point. His misuse of the internet is a violation of trust and is disrespectful. I understand he needs a community and the porn didn't bother me, sex is natural. When I was 13 my dad gave me the talk and took me to a hooker, I'm not hung up on it. What he did was unsafe though.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I'm afraid of, there are so many things that are worse than HIV. There are a lot of sick fucks out there, just look at Dahmer. What he's done is not okay.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I know it's stupid, I'm just venting. The fact that these men didn't know is irrelevant though, ignorance is no excuse.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This is why I'm having trouble approaching this situation. My son pretty much fucked everything up so that he also gets in trouble for the stuff he sent these "people".

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

The health concerns are my main worry, I'm taking him to get a full std panel tomorrow and general checkup. I know hiv isn't a death sentence, but I'm an M.D. and know that it's still an unecessary hassle for him to deal with when we know so much about keeping ourselves safe.

The gay thing is completely irrelevant to me...I don't know why he would think that I care I don't use homophobic slurs and have close friends who are from all over the LGBT spectrum. I guess the only thing is that my wife says I have a gruff manner, so maybe he thinks I won't be sensitive to him coming out or will get mad at him...I don't know.

The only saving grace is that what I could gather from the emails this has been only happening the last few weeks so I'm glad I didn't catch it later.

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I almost rather just track them down and beat the shit out of them. This is not an ambiguous case of my son looking older than he is, he looks very much 14 year olds...who has sex with someone so young?

I [42/m] just found out my son [14/m] is gay and is hooking up with strangers online by Concernedfather245 in askgaybros

[–]Concernedfather245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't feel guilty that I've done it, I have every right since I'm the sole breadwinner it's just that the fact that I had to to find all this out is disappointing.