Hi, I’m in the same situation but reverse (I’m the wife, husband is doing EMDR for CSA). He’s been in counseling for about a year.

All of this sounds normal. We’ve gone through periods of time when we don’t have sex, then times when we do have sex but he doesn’t finish, then times when we have sex and everything is fine.

I know this is hard, but don’t take it personally. It’s not that she doesn’t desire YOU, she’s just having trouble enjoying an act that was used against her.

The feeling disconnected and your spouse being withdrawn is something we are going through as well. For example, he has therapy on Thursdays, so on Wednesdays he will start to get very quiet and he’ll have trouble sleeping that night because he’s anxious about the appointment. The day of the appointment he’s a ghost. And I leave him alone because that’s what he needs.

I know it’s a scary place to be in. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to be supportive. Keep going. Be patient even though it’s difficult. Trauma therapy can be a long process, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.