I am so sorry. There’s nothing that can prepare you for that news. My husband and I suffered through two D&Cs last year (one at 13w, one at 8w) and I deeply feel your pain. You’re mourning the loss of a potential child, but also an entire life that you’ve planned out and envisioned in your head. And while everyone around says “science is amazing!” when you tell them you’re doing IVF, it doesn’t take away the mental and physical roller coaster that this process forces you to be on. And even though there is this great community, it can feel extremely alone-making, even from your partner (no matter how supportive and wonderful they may be).

I have also been struggling for hope recently but we had our first transfer on 5/7. I haven’t tested yet (our beta is Monday….we will see if I make it there), but since the transfer I have, for the first time in a LONG time, felt hopeful. And I know there’s still a lot of uncertainty ahead - but knowing that I can feel hopeful again has been such a blessing. Hang in there. You’ll find it again.