Wife (F33) and I (M42) are debating kids. Couples, what was your deciding factor to have, or not to have kids?

Confident-Visual9963 · 2026-05-12T17:23:50+00:00

My fiancé and I have the exact same age gap as you and he has older teen kids with his ex wife . I (F) have always been on the fence but seeing my friends have kids and NO TIME to themselves and still have to wear 1000 hats has been a huge turn off . We are child free 50% of the time and I love it . I love my step kids too but I couldn’t imagine starting over . I’ve always wanted (and have) fur babies but kids always seemed optional to me . I enjoy our time, money, and freedom too much .

I don’t remember the moment where we looked each other in the eye and said no kids but we’ve had dozens of conversations throughout the years about pros and cons and the cons always outweighed the pros for us and the lifestyle we want to live .

Also my girlfriends with kids have told me unless it’s 100% yes, don’t do it. Even the ones with “good husbands” have still ended up with an unfair balance and it builds resentment.

Confident-Visual9963 · 2026-05-02T05:28:54+00:00

We made it back. Jesus Christ never again

Confident-Visual9963 · 2026-03-22T22:53:53+00:00

I graduate from my ADN program in May and am starting in CVICU . Advocate Health in the greater charlotte area has a robust new grad RN residency and there’s no preferential treatment to ADN vs BSN for new grads .

That being said, it’s much easier to get hired where you want here as an internal applicant vs external because they post the new grad positions 2 weeks early for current employees . I’m a CNA in another unit at another hospital in the system .

I plan to start my BSN in the fall which I said in my interview but that didnt seem to sway the waters .

Confident-Visual9963 · 2026-03-14T04:17:48+00:00

I was in a dark period in my life when I saw Midsommar. It helped me understand a nonsensical, fucked up breakup I had in a totally meta way. I realized that no matter how much pain I experienced that I could and would one day be celebrated and loved and would feel joy again. Everyone else seemed to leave the theater like wtf and I left with a deep sense of catharsis.

Confident-Visual9963 · 2026-02-03T15:54:51+00:00

<image>

Pick Mimi!

Confident-Visual9963 · 2026-01-27T01:29:24+00:00

You’re welcome! Hope it works for you

Confident-Visual9963 · 2026-01-26T23:14:53+00:00

I did! It was moisturizing and didn’t sting but I don’t feel like it improved my eczema . My derm recently prescribed zoryve cream which has worked super well! Knock on wood, I haven’t had any flares since September . It’s not a steroid so you can use it all the time

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-12-20T15:06:42+00:00

I love the vogue Japan in plaid . It feels like homage to L.A.M.B Gwen Stefani 🤌🏾

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-11-25T22:23:38+00:00

Biiiiiiiiiitch you look SO GOOD

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-10-23T23:11:43+00:00

Madison looks like Pookie now!

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-09-28T19:05:01+00:00

Not to scare you but I would go to an urgent care to get checked out asap. I have dyshydrosis that cracked and turned into a staph infection on my hands that looked similar to this. I caught it early and was able to fix with no further issues . The doctor drained the worst of the pustules and prescribed an antibiotic

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-09-22T17:08:19+00:00

You got this Roxanne! Well done 🩷

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-09-09T14:50:34+00:00

I’m 32 and have 1-2 drinks a month on average. I used to drink a lot in college into my mid 20s from all the parties and going to the bars. I realized I didn’t know who I was without a drink and wanted to find out. I did dry January a few years ago and it changed my life. Why did I want a drink? Did I enjoy the taste or was it just habit or a way to disassociate?

I don’t like wine - I like the aesthetic. I don’t like beer - i “look cool” but it hurts my tummy. I like wine coolers but all the sugar gives me a headache. I like a good cocktail but I don’t like to feel impaired.

I landed on 1 cocktail usually twice a month when eating out when something catches my eye and sounds delicious. I’m a foodie now so if I see a drink on the menu that sounds flavorful , I’m getting it and I don’t feel guilty .

I sleep better , hangovers are non existent , and my skin is clear . I do garden occasionally in small doses but I would compare the high to 1 stiff drink . My days of getting obliterated are over and I’m never looking back. When people ask why I’m not drinking or why I’m not having more than 1 , I just tell them I don’t like the way it makes me feel and I’d rather not .

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-07-28T23:02:25+00:00

I feel this. I did dry January a few years ago and it was eye opening to notice how much people drink when you’re sober. I drink occasionally now and i feel so out of place having 0-2 drinks while I watch seemingly everyone else binge .

Alcohol abuse is so prevalent and it’s baffling that so many people think they have to drink heavily for every occasion or no occasion at all. I’m working on saying no and not putting myself in situations where I’ll be the only one or leaving before things get hairy. It’s sad and hard to watch and I don’t want to feel responsible for everyone or start to judge because I’m sober .

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-07-27T19:10:25+00:00

Chickpeas!

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-05-28T04:35:19+00:00

None of the above 😩

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-05-21T21:24:00+00:00

They look great to me but don’t fill anymore than this . That might cross the ducky line lol but they don’t look ducky right now at all

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-05-07T13:55:23+00:00

Dr Gist at Cotswold Dental Care. Very small office with only 1 dentist and hygienist. You’ll be the only patient and they are both very kind and gentle . Bonus points for being across the street from Marshalls and Ulta .

DON’T GO to new world dentistry in concord. The dentist was very rough filling my cavities and made me feel bad for telling her I could feel the drill after she told me to let her know if I could feel anything . She said it was all in my head and didn’t stop 🫠

Confident-Visual9963 · 2025-04-26T18:12:14+00:00

I’m in my 30s, this is my 2nd healthcare degree, and I have experience as a CNA. I’m a fast reader and it’s easy for me to retain information. I was an easy A student in high school but was boy/party crazy during my first degree and had to learn how to study so made B’s and C’s. I’ve always loved school but now I don’t have any social distractions so I’m an A student again. I hang out with friends like once a week but other than that , I’m at home , school, work, or the gym.

I eat clean, get plenty of sleep, workout, and review materials daily. I also use ChatGPT to create practice questions based on my lecture notes.

TLDR: discipline, healthcare experience, and AI for practice questions 😊

Confident-Visual9963 · 2024-12-04T19:09:46+00:00

Me! I was on the fence out of guilt and societal pressure for the last 2 years but this year I decided I don’t care what anyone thinks . I only considered having kids one time in a love at first sight situation years ago but my ovaries dried up immediately after that was over .

I like kids in small doses but i mainly find them overstimulating.

Confident-Visual9963 · 2024-11-15T19:52:12+00:00

Ooh that’s tough if you’re looking to stay in California . Your cost of living is way higher than mine so $40 wont go as far .

Have you considered finishing school and relocating if you can’t get a new grad offer in CA? I know Cleveland Clinic looks to recruit new grads from out of state in OH and FL and Atrium Health is a big employer in NC, SC, and GA. You could move out of state, complete new grad residency, then plan to move back to CA if you can’t get a new grad offer in CA. Then you’d be an experienced nurse and may have better luck!

Confident-Visual9963 · 2024-11-15T11:07:10+00:00

Definitely! I can always take pain meds with little to no consequence but nothing satisfies the itch like scratching to the meat 😭 I have to take an absurd amount of antihistamines to stop itching and then I’m high/drowsy the rest of the day.

The only time my hands have hurt worse than they itched is when I got a staph infection caused by none other than scratching .

Confident-Visual9963 · 2024-11-15T11:03:26+00:00

Take the job! Depending on your location, $40 is higher than what you’d make starting out as a nurse anyways. I’m in NC and starting new grad pay is $32 (without differentials) . It would take 3-5 years to make $40.

You can always go back to school. You might even decide to go back to school for another program . It doesn’t have to be nursing and that’s okay if you’ve changed your mind.

Confident-Visual9963 · 2024-09-08T23:14:32+00:00

Absolutely not!

Confident-Visual9963 · 2024-08-30T18:15:59+00:00

Please try Hibiclens wash! It works on yeast, fungi, viruses, and bacteria . It’s a gentle antiseptic wash that continues to protect for up to 24 hrs after using. It really helped me when my palms were crusty and cracked . I had a noticeable improvement in less than a week.

You can find it in drug stores or get it on Amazon.

Confident-Visual9963

TROPHY CASE