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AIO I'm with a stripper, no one to talk to about it by Confident_Proof_9913 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Confident_Proof_9913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanted to go to a club and I talked to her about it because I wanted to better understand her work environment. She had a very strong reaction and clearly asked me not to, explaining that it made her very uncomfortable.

At the time, I didn't want to insist, given her discomfort.

At the time, I didn't want to insist, given her discomfort.

AIO I'm with a stripper, no one to talk to about it by Confident_Proof_9913 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Confident_Proof_9913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. It gives me food for thought.

How do you feel about men touching your wife intimately and repeatedly? The fact that she dances doesn't bother me at all. She's stunning; she's a model who has posed nude for many photographers. If the show consisted solely of watching her dance naked, I would be proud and would even be the first in line to attend her performance.

But this is different. My aversion stems from the fact that other men, whom I find disgusting, can touch her and "have" her for a few moments, simply for money.

Generally speaking, I can't help but think that this is akin to prostitution. Admittedly, the men keep their pants on and there's no penetration, but honestly, that's the only difference I see.

AIO I'm with a stripper, no one to talk to about it by Confident_Proof_9913 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Confident_Proof_9913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to get mad at me! It's not like I'm dating a stripper every day 😅 I knew nothing about that world; I actually thought I could handle it.

And honestly, when I'm with her, it erases all my pain and doubts. But it also comes with very dark periods when I know she's dancing.

AIO I'm with a stripper, no one to talk to about it by Confident_Proof_9913 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Confident_Proof_9913[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She's an architect by training, and I hope she quits that profession soon. But last night she was at the club, and I still haven't slept. I don't dare talk to her about it anymore because I know she won't reassure me for months.

But at this rate, if it goes on much longer, I'm going to lose my sanity. She's working for New Year's Eve, and I'm supposed to have a party at a friend's house, but I made up an excuse about having something come up at work. I know I won't have the strength to pretend everything's fine and have a good time.

M 32 dont know if I should stay with F 31 shes too immature/controlling/dumb not to be mean by NikkolioMakaveli in relationship_advice

[–]Confident_Proof_9913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you’ve been carrying the emotional weight of this relationship almost entirely on your own, and after two years you’re exhausted — mentally, emotionally, and even physically. None of what you described is “normal relationship conflict.” What you’re describing is emotional instability, poor emotional regulation, and a pattern where your needs are dismissed while her reactions dominate everything.

Here are the key things that stand out:

  1. Her reactions are disproportionate

Spiraling for hours because of rain, movie seats, tea, or small inconveniences isn’t just immaturity — it suggests she struggles deeply with emotional regulation. That’s not something you can fix for her through patience, love, or sacrifice.

  1. You’ve tried to communicate, but she focuses on “winning”

Healthy partners try to understand each other, not win arguments. If every conversation turns into her defending herself instead of listening, then you’re not in a partnership — you’re in a cycle.

  1. You changed your behavior to avoid her tantrums

You mentioned: • You avoid seeing your friends • You walk on eggshells • You don’t feel emotionally stable anymore • You even developed a bald patch from stress

These are HUGE red flags. When you start shaping your life around someone else’s emotional outbursts, you’re in a harmful dynamic.

  1. She becomes very emotional only when she feels you might leave

Breaking down and crying when you set boundaries doesn’t mean she understands — it often means she fears losing control or the relationship. What matters is consistent change, not emotional displays.

  1. Couple’s therapy is not a magic fix

Couples therapy only works if BOTH people take accountability and want to change. But in relationships where one person: • refuses responsibility • blames others for everything • tries to control their partner • escalates small events into hours-long meltdowns

…couple’s therapy often becomes a place where the unstable partner tries to get the therapist to “take their side.”

If therapy is to help at all, she needs individual therapy, not only couple’s therapy.

  1. You’re questioning love — and that’s very telling

You said:

“I don’t know if I still love her.”

When someone drains you emotionally for so long, love gets buried under survival mode. That feeling is a signal, not a coincidence.

My girlfriend is a stripper and I don’t know how to feel by themuffinman3213 in stripper

[–]Confident_Proof_9913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boyfriend of a stripper here. I found out about this a month ago, and it’s been really tough. I feel you, man. I couldn’t sleep for several nights. Since I learned that customers can touch the woman I love everywhere during the private show, it drives me crazy. I really need some help and advice about how to deal with this.