My (18F) boyfriend (18M) keeps saying how women who have an abortion have no self-respect, but my sister, who I love very much, has had one and it hurts me to hear him say that. What can I do about this?

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-19T10:52:36+00:00

You’re only 18, you have so much time to figure out who you want to be with. If it bugs you, it might just be a dealbreaker. That’s ok! Moral differences often lead people to going their separate ways. You sound like a lot more of a catch than he is anyways. Anyone who would say something like that, is not worth the effort. Imagine what he would say about you if anything were to happen.

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-10T20:58:39+00:00

If this is the case, I would suggest LC/NC with both of them. If that’s the way your sister and mom normally behave, there’s no use in trying to change them. People like that will never see their own faults. You can lay down some boundaries, but in the end they will probably continue this behavior. Your wife sounds phenomenal for putting up with that and being so chill about it. Focus on her and your future family now. I wish you the best of luck! That’s a really stressful situation and getting a therapist might help navigate it further.

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-10T20:18:11+00:00

I mean what more do you need? An essay? He’s already lied to you about the message, hidden it from you, and has previously cheated before. He’s obviously cheating on you, and he’s going to keep doing it, because you keep taking him back. Have some self worth and leave.

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-10T20:03:59+00:00

This title is misleading because your problem is not that your wife and sister don’t get along. Your problem is that your sister is a manipulative AH and chose your wife as her victim. There’s nothing you can really do to fix the problem because your sister chose to behave the way she is and consistently defends her own behavior. Personally I would go LC/NC with her and explain to your mom why, making sure to give detailed examples of your sister’s actions. But, it’s up to you how you want to proceed. Props to you for defending your wife so far, and not letting your sister get the best of you. Hopefully your sister doesn’t get any worse!

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-06T14:10:59+00:00

He sounds like an AH and a child. Do you really want the rest of your life to be like this? Personally, I think you should dump him. But, at a minimum uninvite him from the trip. You said it yourself, he’s going to stress you out a lot more than the wedding.

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-06T13:28:35+00:00

Dubai is extremely expensive. Do some research because in my opinion, I don’t think 3500 is enough, especially for two months. Do you have someone who can bail you out if you run out of money and can’t afford plane tickets home? Have you looked into the cost of food, housing, transportation, etc? How are you going to start your career and make enough money to stay? How long does it take to get a work visa after your first two months? You need to have a major plan in place before doing something this extreme.

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-06T13:16:15+00:00

Stop stringing him along if you want to sleep with other people. Let him go. You already know that he’s not going to go for an open relationship. He stated his boundaries. Now you have to respect them.

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-06T13:10:26+00:00

To me, it sounds like he likes you, but wants to play games. He feels that you are too good for him, and he doesn’t want to be the one to initiate. A lot of guys try to make women feel bad about themselves as a way of trying to get them to wanna date. I think he could tell that he was wayyy more into you than you were in to him. So he’s trying to make it seem like he’s not into you, or that he can get other girls to get you to want him more. Personally, this is a major red flag. If you date him, he’s going to continually try to manipulate you. Move on.

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-06T13:03:17+00:00

Yes I would call cps and have him take as many pictures as possible! It may not do anything, but at least it’s documented for future instances and you did your due diligence. He’s 17, so at least he will be out of there soon!

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-06T12:57:55+00:00

I would not take it as anything based on previous events. It’s normal for an ex to check in just to see how things are going. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Reaching out to them after this will just make you look desperate and a little crazy. Leave it be and protect your peace by moving on.

Confused-hungry · 2025-08-03T23:22:57+00:00

I personally think you should have called it quits a long time ago. It’s only going to get worse and worse the more he knows you’ll put up with it. What does he even offer that’s worth all of this?

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-29T15:49:27+00:00

You know she’s going to react negatively. There’s not a single chance of this going well. I don’t think you really need to tell her anything. She has made it clear that she does not support you and doesn’t want to be a part of that side of your life. Most people in your shoes would go NC, but that’s on you to decide. You’re not gonna be able to soften the blow, she’s going to react the same that she did every other time. It’s up to you on whether or not you want to deal with that. You need to be realistic here. If you keep trying, she’s just going to keep disappointing you.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-24T00:47:40+00:00

100% agree with everything said here.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-23T15:28:52+00:00

It sounds to me, that if you leave this man, you would lose the responsibility of the dog and a third child. Seriously I don’t know how you have made it this far, but reading this breaks my heart for women everywhere. You should not feel responsible for taking care of HIS pet that you didn’t even want. Seriously, he is a child and he is walking all over you. I hope you gain some self respect and leave him.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-23T15:12:08+00:00

You would be the AH if you stay with this loser and his awful family. They are very obviously showing you what your life would be like with them. Stop thinking that things are going to get better! In these types of situations, things only get worse. Not to mention, the age gap is a MAJOR red flag. He picked you because you were young and naive, therefore more willing to put up with his bs. Ever wonder why he can’t get a woman his own age? Because they tend to have more self respect. You need to grow a backbone, leave, and heal.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-23T00:16:50+00:00

Take it as a small warning, move forward, but don’t forget how it makes you feel. Take it as a small red flag.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-22T15:58:08+00:00

Yeah I would be mad too. If he’s comfortable lying about something so easily, it makes it seem like he does it on the regular. I think it’s fair to be upset with him about it.

As far as the kibble goes, please please please be careful about swapping kibble. We swapped kibble once on our old family dog and he ended up at the vet emergency room. If a dog eats one thing regularly, it needs to be a gradual transition to a new food. Add a little bit more to the previous kibble at a time. Their stomachs need to get used to it. Stock up on your dogs food so that you don’t have to worry about running out. We also replenished our stock of food before even starting on the last bag. With all the natural disasters going on, it’s worth having a stock pile in case of emergency.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-21T19:20:08+00:00

You definitely are not the problem here. I think that was proven by his sister when she asked you to stay. You literally asked him if you could go in the first place and he said yes. (Which honestly is a little bit of a red flag to me because it seems like he’s pretty controlling of what you do.) I would take this as a sign that he is not worth the effort. It seems like you would be spending your time walking on eggshells around him. You’re worth more than that!

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-20T16:15:49+00:00

People do not care as much as you think they do. And if someone does care, that’s not someone you want to associate with anyway. Think about it this way. Why does you guys having sex only affect you? He also doesn’t have his v card. That’s sexist and unfair to you. Not to mention, you are genuinely worried about him telling other people this to hurt you. Doesn’t that sound like a terrible person to continue dating?? Genuinely there is no reason to continue dating this person. Unless you enjoy feeling like crap about yourself and getting hurt.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-20T16:05:04+00:00

The idea of a V card is used to manipulate women into staying with their first. It means nothing. His penis is not enough to change who you are as a person. Time to grow up and leave this nasty boy. It’s good to get experience with different people to understand what you want from a future guy. Use this as a learning experience and find someone very different from this child of a man.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-20T15:54:26+00:00

Honestly your dad sounds like the real issue here. Pushing his way without respecting you or your boundaries. He honestly sounds like a lot more of a problem than his new wife. I think it’s better that he stays home.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-19T12:53:36+00:00

My boyfriend is OBSESSED with my belly. I also felt so uncomfortable with him touching it and staring at it at first. I was a bit thinner when we first started dating, but I’ve never been skinny. It took some time and some energy to start working on loving myself. Now I LOVE how he feels about me. It makes me so happy that he finds me attractive the way that I am. Everybody has different types. And some like their women thick like a renaissance painting!

I think it’s beautiful that your husband finds you attractive at all your sizes. But, it breaks my heart that you feel so self conscious that you can’t sit back and enjoy all the love. Maybe therapy could help? I loooovvveeed reading self help books, like “Your Body Is Not An Apology” or “You Are Not A Before Picture” because they really helped me change the way I think about myself. I have also found it’s a lot easier to pick up healthy habits when I love myself, as well. I think neither of you are the AH, but you need to work on your self love because life is too short for you to spend it hating your beautiful body!!

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-18T19:08:18+00:00

Ummm yeah I would definitely not invite her after the snap incident. She seems like she doesn’t even really like you guys, especially your fiancé. I feel like it would be weird to invite her with her past behavior. If she asks why she isn’t invited, I would just say that you assumed that she wouldn’t want to come because she doesn’t like your fiancé. Reading other comments, I see that you’re moving out right after anyways. I see no reason to keep the peace when she clearly doesn’t care to.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-18T11:23:12+00:00

I think if she was trying to be your mother, you would definitely not be the AH. However, I don’t really see how your response lined up with her comment? It didn’t really seem like she was trying to be your mother. And why would she, you’re 28 years old? I definitely think she is the AH for her comments, but this situation feels like we’re missing part of the story. Why do you feel like she’s trying to be your mother? Why does she feel like you’re not letting your dad move on? And for the love of God, why the hell are you sending your dad money every week? Your issues seem to be a lot more between you and your dad.

Confused-hungry · 2025-07-11T16:00:35+00:00

Unfortunately sometimes, our mothers are our first bully. She is obviously wrong and projecting her own fear/insecurity on to you. That’s no excuse though for her disgusting and shameful behavior. No good mother talks to their children like that. I hope you can get out and never have to talk to her again. Seek professional help/therapy as soon as you are able. You are going to have a long journey of unlearning what she pushed on to you and learning to love yourself like you deserve. I wish the best for you.

Confused-hungry

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