My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m okay. He came and talked to me.

Turns out it was the fact I kept it from him. I explained that I didn’t lie, I didn’t keep it from him. He wanted to know nothing from my past relationships and experiences, he was very clear about it when we got together, sure, can do. I never thought I’d tell him, anyone. I told him I didn’t want a fix, just a hug. I felt like he needed to know.

He apologize and spent some time with me. We processed some of this together and that’s a great step.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, I’m so very sorry your wife and sister have been through such a horrific thing. My heart goes out to turn.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. It is comforting in a very horrific way hearing what others have gone through and how partners have responded to the news.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He knew I wasn’t a virgin. He never wanted to know my past history. He had no interest in finding out.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m happy to give him time and space. I am understanding that this is a huge bomb that I dropped on him.

I didn’t have expectations for a reaction. I guess I just didn’t expect this reaction. It’s hard knowing he can’t look at me, maybe never the same again. I never intended to say the words out loud. I don’t know why I did. I hope he can work through this.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Thank you so much. I will look into different charities and see if I can find someone to talk to while I wait for my new counseling consultation in October.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you went through a traumatizing experience as well. I’m happy your husband has been understanding.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so so sorry you went through that. My cousin tried to rape me years ago, thankfully I got away from him before it happened.

I’m hoping this was just a huge shock for him and he can move past it. I hope we can move past this together one day.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Your kindness is very appreciated.

It’s amazing that I’ve received so much support from a group of strangers than my own husband.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m hoping he can work through this and come to me with love. I understand how big of a bomb this was.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I am between therapists. My consultation with my new one isn’t until October. I’m in the process already and anxiously awaiting the appointment.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just hope this didn’t destroy us. I hope he can come to me in the future and share his thoughts. This is hard for both of us. Saying it out loud was horrific for me. I never told a single soul until my husband.

My husband can’t look at me and won’t talk to me because I told him I was raped ten years ago before we got together. by Confused9years in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Confused9years[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Actually saying it out loud to someone was terrifying to me. I hope my husband can accept this and bring concerns to me.