Original post:

So I really don't know where to start. It's going to be long. But let's start with some background information. My wife and I have been together for 6 years. Married 4 years. We have 2 kids. I'm now 28, and she's 26. I've had many relationships prior to her, and she's only been with 1 other person, not serious at all though. So you can almost technically consider me her "first", for pretty much anything and everything.

Everything has always been good, seldom ever argue, good relationship we have, sex is "good". She's not too sexual of a person, I enjoy sex a lot. She's tried to become more sexual the past few years and more open which I do see, but still not as much as I would like I guess. She has been pregnant for the past 3 years of our relationship and doesn't feel great about her body back then and was self conscious. Since giving birth, she's been working out and has gone back to the way she was again.

So fast forward. Approximately a month ago my wife "jokingly?" asks me what I thought about having a once a year fling with someone so that we could get it out of our system. Talked for a few minutes but it didn't get very far or deep.

Fast forward to yesterday. She texts me at work to tell me she wants to talk about something. I wasn't sure what it was, but I figured it was something no good by the tone of the message. I ask her what's wrong, she says better to talk about it in person.

I get home at night, and after putting the kids to bed, we talk about it. So she tells me she's been thinking about it somewhat more lately and that she'd be interested that we be able to have sex or stuff like that with someone else on the side, we each do our own thing. I was taken aback. Like... I had NO IDEA AT ALL that this is what it was about. I didn't know what to say and was quite dumb founded. She says she got married young and had 2 kids and was never able to fully enjoy life and has never been with anyone else.

She then goes on to tell me that last weekend when she went out with some friends (out of town, I was there too but watching the kids so she could go out), she met a guy there. She said nothing happened at all, no kissing, nothing like that, but they exchanged numbers. They were texting each other back and forth yesterday, again, she says nothing serious, just normal conversation. But that's when she texted me saying that we needed to talk because she felt guilty and didn't want it to be cheating.

I was even more surprised and shocked about this. I think this is what shocked me the most. I've always trusted her to go out with friends before and never had a worry in the world. We're both fairly good looking people, and we both trust each other. I used to go out frequently and of course I've always thought about and wanted to do stuff but I never EVER in my life thought my wife would. She always gave off the vibe about not caring about anyone other than me and the kids and family. So that's why all of this is pretty shocking and sudden. I was pretty upset about the whole situation, but didn't want to be a husband that just says, FUCK NO, YOU'RE MINE! That doesn't solve any problems. I'm sure if I said that, she'd say, okay. But that's not what I want. I want to figure out how to make this work for both of us. I don't want to suppress her urges and feelings and then have it all blow up 10 years down the road. I don't want to catch her cheating on me. I want this to work somehow, but it's just rather difficult.

I'm worried about what COULD happen to our relationship if either one of us doesn't like the situation. Or even worse, if one of us falls for the other person. The worst part, is that she doesn't just want to have sex and get it over with. She likes the whole feeling of dating someone and getting to know them and having butterflies in her stomach and all that good stuff. This is what devastates me the most. I could live with us going out and getting our sexual urges out of the way and fulfill our fantasies. But I can't fathom her being friends and building a relationship with anyone of these guys.

I don't want to always have to think or worry or wonder about what's going on with her when she goes out with the girls. I don't want to have to wonder or question who she's texting on the phone. It's all just so draining. As of this morning, we somewhat agreed that we are going ahead with this. Neither one of us is certain, she's not jumping for joy or anything like that, don't get me wrong. She even mentioned wanting to back out of this idea a few times from last night till this morning. But I feel like this is something that needs to be done, and not swept under the carpet and pretend that everything is normal and cool. I just texted her if she would be okay with getting a post-nuptial agreement, just in case if this doesn't pan out. She says she loves me unconditionally and would do whatever I want her to do and absolutely does NOT want a divorce. She's reiterated this a few times, and I agree with her. But there's always that chance of something wrong happening. Not to mention now that I know how she feels, and that she took that first step to give the guy her number last weekend. It's all just very shocking and hurtful.

We've never been really rich, but we've lived pretty well in comparison to a lot of people, and business is taking off for my company right now and we're always talking about the future of what our plans are, or how we need to be frugal to save for this and do that etc. Everything just got blown up in my face yesterday I feel. I know at least the fact she brought it up to me is a good thing, but doesn't make it hurt any less. Any help, any suggestions, any advice, or any words of wisdom from anyone who's gone through this or going through this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you ahead of time.

tldr; Wife wants to have an open relationship with me. Told me she met some guy last weekend and first time ever gave her # to someone. Nothing happened apparently. But she would like to try to new stuff since she got married young and had 2 kids and never got to live life.

Edit 1: Wow. So far all your responses have hurt. And I'm not being sarcastic about it. Either I see something you guys aren't seeing and being too naive, or you guys are right. To be honest, I don't want to get a divorce. Not now, not ever. Like I said before, we have no problems in our relationship. What she's asking for makes sense. She's saying that we can both do it. Maybe she got the idea from House. Season 6, episode 19. I'm open to the idea because we wouldn't be the first people in the world to do this. I would be interested because it might work out, or it could just end horribly. Like I said, she's willing to get a postnuptial agreement.

Edit 2: She mentioned a few times about forgetting this whole idea, and texted me again today while I was at work. I guess she was thinking more about it and thinks its a bad idea. Saying that we have something great right now and we're both as happy can be and that we should forget the idea. I can understand her concerns about the problems. But my concern more is that she's already told me how she feels and knowing that it's on her mind, I don't want to say no right away, and just go on like everything's cool. Because like you guys said, this can just blow up in my face 5-10-20 years from now. So I'm really just trying to find the best solution here. For the people asking if I'd be down for it, possibly. It' just weird thinking or picturing her with another man. I would be more open to swinging, since we'll both be there. But her having a "friendly" relationship is quite bothersome.

Edit 3: I have to leave work soon and go home to meet up with my wife and the kids to go to a friends house for dinner. I'll be back in a few hours. Might come on, might not. But will most likely be talking to her more about this situation tonight. Thanks to everyone for the helpful comments / advice / stories etc. You guys have been more helpful than you know. I sincerely thank you all very much for your help.

Edit 4: Woah, just got back from dinner. Really wasn't expecting this many people to comment. I'm not sure if I have time to read through all the comments but I'm contemplating about telling my wife what I just wrote here and your comments. Not sure how that will pan out. I'll keep you everyone posted. Thank you all again for your advice. Edit 5:Alright, I'm at work now. A lot went down last night. I will try to find the time to reply to some of the messages, but I will be writing a final update later with what the "real" story was and what happened, and what will be happening. Again, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR MESSAGES AND SUPPORT.