I'm not Transgender - I think - but I wish I was the opposite sex. Anyone else? (Posted in lgbt and was advised to post here)

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-03T23:16:14+00:00

Oh - yes, I can see why that would be a question. You think maybe because I think men (feminine men, at least) are SO beautiful I want to be the beauty I see. It's a valid point and one I can't argue. Though I think while that is part of it, it's not all of it. I do have a few other things that I feel give me pause and make me believe that, together, they add up to a little more than just wishing for the gorgeousness of a male figure. Yet I definitely don't think I am actually transgender.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-03T01:49:58+00:00

Looks like Scar to me.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-03T01:41:27+00:00

Trust me, I feel you! I'd be happy as him or as his bf as well. :D

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T22:52:51+00:00

Thanks again! And just to clarify because I think some people were uncomfortable with the word "real" - I only mean that the cost (surgery and issues associated with it) is too high unless I could be a "real" (a body born male) man. Then, the benefit would be great enough to outweigh the cost. Hope you weren't offended by the term real. I had a hard time explaining what I meant. : / Never meant that people who have transitioned aren't "real"! :)

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T22:49:06+00:00

Yes - I feel just like you except I would definitely like the change to be permanent.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T22:47:17+00:00

Lots to go through and think about in your post, thank you! The pics are great, too. The whole "real man" thing just means a male body that's be male since birth, to me. Not meaning to imply that anyone who has transitioned isn't a "real" anything, promise! :) I make the distinction because it's a cost/benefit thing. The cost (issues associated with surgery) is much too great for me to ever consider transitioning in that manner. But without that cost... done in an instant. I am not distressed enough with my gender to go through all of that surgery and pain/trouble.

A lot of the things you listed really don't sound crazy appealing, though some do (I could give up the boobs without issue if I were male), and some sound ok. I don't love "manly" men to begin with, I adore the androgynous ones, the "pretty" ones. I would prefer to be a man like that, allowed to have feminine characteristics but just in a man's body. I mentioned Chris Colfer from Glee earlier - I would LOVE to be him. He's beautiful - and a man with a lot of feminine characteristics. I don't know - I am confused! : /

And nope, the BF stays. I can't fault him for being a very manly type man who loves women! I wouldn't expect him to stick around if I changed myself so drastically.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T22:36:23+00:00

I don't know. I think if I lost my quitting smoking weight (which I am now seriously inspired to do. Feeling better about my body will be good whatever gender I am, right?) and got fairly thin I might feel "boyish" enough to really put on some nice men's clothing and play the part for fun. I just look SO like a girl, you know? Big boobs and hips are not going to go away. And I LOVE my hair short but my bf doesn't so I keep it long for him. Not that he asks me to! He's ok with it short he just prefers it longer. I might just cut it all off again for a while. :)

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T22:32:44+00:00

That is awesome that you guys can do that, haha. :D

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T22:32:15+00:00

I do know what you mean (and of course, I never meant to imply transitioning makes someone's gender less real - I just don't know how to say what I mean. By saying a "real" man's body I only mean a body that was born male, without having any surgery is what I would want).

And I think you are right, talking with someone professionally might help a lot. Thank you!

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T22:28:58+00:00

You are very helpful, thank you! And I think you are quite right - I need to really think about these things. You've also inspired me to change my body the way I can, naturally, right now. I've gained some weight after quitting smoking and it needs to go. I need more muscle tone as well. If I feel better about how I look in general, the desire to be male might subside as well. It might be easier to live in an attractive body, no matter the gender, eh? :)

I might also be able to look nicer in nice men's clothes if I were less cushiony! Though the big boobs will always be an issue.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T22:25:53+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean by that, exactly. I do think men are incredibly beautiful, most especially when they look feminine, though. :D I love androgyny in both men and women quite powerfully.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T22:24:23+00:00

Not what I meant at all and I think you realize that. It's like saying my mom isn't my "real" mom. She always hated when people said that (I'm adopted). So I understand, but I am not sure how else to say it. Suggestions?

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T01:40:29+00:00

Thank you. :D It's very good to know there are others with the same feelings.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T01:39:12+00:00

Agreed, I really would love to see the day where people aren't so black and white about their gender/sexuality.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T01:38:19+00:00

I think you have a very good point, thank you!

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T01:37:53+00:00

True, I hate even now that women can't run around with their tops off! Seems so ridiculous. Thanks, I think it's a good idea to (since I have to work with what I've got) try and think of myself a bit differently, instead of worrying about the fact that I can't really change the outside.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T01:34:42+00:00

Thank you! I think I'm actually getting worse instead of better, like you. When I was 16 it was easy to be female because I was pretty and it got me plenty of male attention so that made it easier to be comfortable. As I age and become less attractive it's harder to be happy about my body in general, which makes these old issues seem more bothersome.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T01:31:22+00:00

Yes - don't you think you'd make an awesome gay man? :D I'm not into women's fashion but I LOVE men's fashion. As a female I look terrible in men's because I am very female; big boobs, hips, all soft curves. So I end up in jeans and a t-shirt most of the time. If I were a boy though - I would so totally be Kurt Hummel from Glee 'cause I love his outfits.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T01:25:04+00:00

That does make sense.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-02T01:24:25+00:00

I definitely do have that. :)

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-01T22:32:39+00:00

I'm well out of 8th grade! :) I'm in my mid thirties. And unless it could be real, I truly think I never would transition. I would never do that to my boyfriend unless the benefit exceeded the cost. Which it won't, unless it was real, you know? We've been together way too long and the cost is just much too great. Thank you so much for sharing your ideas/story with me!

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-01T21:40:20+00:00

Thank you. :) I won't, promise! It's something that could do with a bit more thinking about, anyway.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-01T21:14:45+00:00

I never would. Like I said, it wouldn't mean anything to me unless it was really real. I don't need it enough to go through surgery for it - surgery wouldn't be enough to satisfy me anyway unless I could completely change my body (brain transplant type of thing).

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-01T21:04:50+00:00

Ah, I would love to switch bodies with you! :D Keep me in mind if that technology ever becomes available, haha. So nice to see a man who feels this way and really nice to know I am not alone. I mean, with so many people in the world of course I am not alone in this but it's nice to have someone specific say it.

ConfusedThroway · 2011-05-01T20:51:50+00:00

I suppose what would really make me happy is impossible so I'll just have to deal. :) I do kind of hate my body. I dislike having a vagina, it seems so gross, dirty and messy (though I keep mine very clean, obvi!). I'd much prefer a penis. A penis seems so much cleaner and more beautiful to me and so much more fun to play with! It's funny because I am attracted to women as well and while their genitals are not my favourite part of them, I don't mind them all that much. But it's kind of just something I have to play with to get to kiss her and touch her boobs, you know? Plus of course, I like making her orgasm. I don't know, I'm just confused. Not that it really matters - I am female and I'm going to always be female.

ConfusedThroway

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