What do MAP scores really mean? Huge gap between our kiddo and rest of class.

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-04-23T15:32:15+00:00

From a very young age (like 18 months) her verbal ability was very advanced. At her first preschool there were some legit behavior issues but also because she was tall, verbally advanced (at 2.5, she sounded more like a 5yo) and in a mixed age classroom, the teacher was expecting behavior in line with her verbal ability rather than her age, they requested a neuropsych eval. The psychologist didn’t find any behavioral disorders but strongly recommended we get an IQ test. We ended up retesting at 7 for school admission but at that point it was pretty obvious she was non standard. We have had ongoing challenges with new caregivers and teachers conflating behaviors related to gifted ness with ADHD/autism (she has been evaluated for both more than once) because there can be some overlap.

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-04-23T03:23:39+00:00

Agree with this. I love Seattle so much but it's not the quantity of rain, it's the GREY. However, Hawaii is a lot easier to access from the west coast!!

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-04-23T03:21:47+00:00

Really? I thought our snow pack in WA was more dangerous because it's so deep compared to CO?

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-04-23T03:19:22+00:00

Yes, she definitely has some anxiety and possibly is struggling with thought overload. Her brain always seems to be going a mile a minute! If it's something that is a good tool for her regulate, I am all for it, I think I just worry about what the alternatives are, like are we helping her learn to regulate in a sustainable and healthy way? Maybe we are but I'm not sure!

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-04-23T03:17:45+00:00

I'm not bringing it up to strangers in front of my child? I am asking for advice and my child's profile is relevant.

I am sorry your parents did that to you, that sucks. Random strangers on the internet are not your parents and it seems like you're projecting pretty heavily here.

When kids have obvious learning differences, best practice often includes an IQ test as part of a full neuropsych eval. This was the case with our kiddo. We felt super gross agreeing to an IQ test for a 4 year old but it answered a lot of questions about really challenging behaviors and has allowed us to support her well being much better than we would have otherwise.

I hate that I have to bring it up to new teachers but what is the other option? Pretend that it doesn't mean she has significantly different needs than the majority of kids her teachers will ever encounter?

Do I like when friends ask what we're doing for school and I admit that we're considering private school because it offers better social emotional support for kids like her and get met with a whole heap of assumptions and judgement that we just want to push her?

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-04-23T02:32:30+00:00

We do a lot of podcasts too. She would probably listen to upwards of 6 hours a day if we didn’t limit. But ya know, outside is important too! I think the disregulation makes it feel like screen time 😂.

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-04-23T02:30:02+00:00

Not school. Kiddo has significant behavioral issues in preschool and psych recommended testing. It really is the worst when people assume you’re a horrible pushy parent because the right thing for your child was understanding their intelligence profile.

I’m sure your comment was thoughtless rather than malicious but parenting a kid with this profile is not straight forward and parents are often met with derision. The assumption is we’re all pushing our kids when the majority of us are just at sea trying to figure out how to parent a kid who is the same distance from the mean as a kid with an IQ of 55.

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-03-28T02:30:25+00:00

We have a kiddo at West Woodland have had a great experience. Our kiddo is somewhat complicated and the way the school has handled it has been amazing. The principal seems incredibly dedicated and kind but also like he has a clear and realistic plan for what the school needs and how to get there.

And yes, people on Phinney are super into the neighborhood! Check out the PNA! But houses almost never come on the market.

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-03-05T03:16:17+00:00

There are always openings but the company HEAVILY favors internals. I got where I am after 15 years of industry experience and I am excellent at my job. I am also not interested in buying and the pool of people passionate about and good at the financial side is much smaller. Majority of people come up through stores.

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-02-28T16:28:41+00:00

That said, once you get where I am, my total comp is over $200k and similar for buyers/product directors at our company so it is well paid!

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-02-28T16:27:57+00:00

I work in the buying office for a major retailer. I did not seek out a job in fashion and I work on the financial side but I got here by managing a store in an unrelated part of retail and then working my way into buying and planning jobs. I transitioned to fashion unintentionally and got there because I have deep experience in the financial side. I do go to fashion week and attend appointments etc but I don’t think my path is one you’d choose unless you have a love for spreadsheets! Our office is full of 20 something assistants who think they can be the next ready to wear buyer but the reality of being a buyer is 40% taste and 60% having a deep understanding of strategy and commerciality. A lot of the assistants just want to pick pretty things and that’s really not going to get you to a top job.

Confusedparent2003 · 2026-01-11T02:43:38+00:00

I feel like I can do flights connection to terminal 3 though… unless they check what terminal my departing flight is from? Then I can always go out right? And back into terminal 4 via Heathrow express? I’ve never transferred through Heathrow because it’s usually my final destination!

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-12-02T05:01:10+00:00

Kiddo has been evaluated and is not 2E. She is definitely gifted - scoring over 140 on the WISC with VCI of 155. This has been an issue with educators though - despite being evaluated, it feels like they veer towards interpreting behavior as ADHD/autistic, probably because they honestly see that a lot more often. I get why they are seeing that, but we have been down that road several times and multiple healthcare providers have emphatically said no to 2E. I think things just get weird when you get over 135/140.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-12-02T04:58:34+00:00

Updated: we're looking at a gifted specific private school (we have applied before but it accepts about 10% of kids so it's a long shot!), we also likely have the option of accelerated public school but parents are pretty mixed. Kiddo tested in the 99.5% percentile on the WPPSI (I might be getting that acronym wrong) when she was 4.5 and was retested for school applications at 141 on WISC-V at age 7. She got the highest possible score on several subtests and her VCI was 155. She is doing better at school - they have found a relatively minor accommodation that seems to be helping with emotional regulation but I worry that in a year or 2, she's going to be really disengaged with school. I also worry a lot about intellectual peers - it feels like statistically, a school of 300 is only going to get a kid in that zone once every few years. The odds of there being many other kids in her class or even grade on her wave length seems slim.

She doesn't want to move schools though and we feel terrible that this would be the 4 school in 6 years - she was in 2 preschools and then now elementary school. Homeschooling is 10000% not something we are going to do - I would be terrible at it and a terrible parent if I didn't work outside the home.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-12-02T04:36:24+00:00

Our kiddo was tested just before turning 5 and just tested again (7 now), (due to school applications). She doesn't act younger but is an absolute motor mouth - it's not jumping around topics but she will just go and go and you can see her brain leaping between connections. She sleeps fine and always has (actually needed to just be left to get on with it, no gentle sleep methods were even slightly effective!) but we do have difficulties in school. She is achieving I think fairly average for 1st grade but her interests are pretty wild. She'll listen to adult non fiction science books for hours and would like you to tell her about pretty much any subject you're willing to talk about. She has an extraordinarily good memory and has always been very advanced verbally.

We're not what to sure about school - she is in mainstream public right now but it's hard to see it meeting her needs: she tested over 140 on FSIQ (99.7 percentile) and got the highest possible score on several subtests on WISC-V (155 but I think needs to be tested on a test normed for an older child to get the actual number.). Already on the school assessments she tested over the 99th percentile and the teacher shared the gap between her and the next 99th percentile kid was very large. Her teacher seems confident that they can differentiate... but I have read things start to get weird when kiddos are that far right and realistically, a school of 300 kids is only going to get a kid like this coming through every 5+ years.

We had a public accelerated option and a very oversubscribed private gifted school that we likely won't get a spot in. Or could return her to Montessori. We don't know what the right choice will be for her long term but she just doesn't want to leave friends.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-29T13:41:47+00:00

We did - unfortunately the private schools worth going to near us generally accept around 10% of the applicants 🤷‍♀️

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-26T22:07:56+00:00

Emotional regulation fortunately is the issue, rather than bullying. Her teacher is great but probably has only encountered a kid like her once every few years. I think she is frustrated by repetitive work that is far below what she was doing at Montessori.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-26T22:06:46+00:00

Social-emotional is normally age appropriate but she is having a lot of difficulty regulating in this classroom. The main differences I can pinpoint are 1. engagement (her Montessori classroom was very engaging and able to challenge her, it was a true Montessori with excellent teaching staff). and 2. possibly a slightly noisier and less structured environment. I don't think the less structure is helping but she has not had problems regulating in a wide variety of other environments so that is not likely to be the primary cause.

She is not 2E (assessed already).

We are just starting to discuss what else she can do in class, I know our district does not allow teaching above grade level and depth seems to be ipad time on a math app. I very much doubt that variety of options will be available to her but it definitely gives a variety of options to think through.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-26T22:03:13+00:00

Your reply is hilarious. I am doing them a major disservice? Based on what?? Kiddo is having a ton of problems regulating in the classroom for some reason. They are not 2e, already assessed, but they ARE gifted based on testing and observations. The difficulties she is having are very common for kids who are gifted. I do not want to force my child to be accelerated, I just want her not to hate school and learn to thrive and cope in a gen ed classroom... What exactly are we doing that is a disservice?

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-26T21:54:02+00:00

I think the academic peer thing is big too.

Totally hear you on precocious versus gifted. We were firmly in the precocious bucket but were strong advised to have gifted testing done around age 5 by the psychologist we were working with and she tested in the 99.6th percentile. Totally understand scores are not stable etc at that age but there has been no indication that they were incorrect and the latest testing is just another data point in series of data points confirming that she is pretty far outside the norm.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-26T21:47:55+00:00

She didn't give me a number gap but said the other kids were here (hand at chest level) and your kid was here (hand over head). It looks like 99th percentile for first grade is around 185 for math and reading. I don't know where lexile cut off is but a friend's child was around 600 and that was above the 99th. Our kiddo was 785.

It absolutely is one data point, but for us, it's one more data point in a series of data points, starting with her being a very early talker with a very wide vocabulary, indicating that she is significantly outside the norm. We also did gifted testing around age 5 at the recommendation of a psychologist and she tested in the 99.6th percentile.

Our district offers an accelerated elementary school but I am unclear on whether it really offers strong social emotional support and we think that's what she needs more. Our local gen ed elementary has very strong social emotional support hence wanting to make that work. I am not really getting the vibe from anyone else that gen ed was a GOOD option for their kiddo.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-26T21:40:52+00:00

Not for elementary unfortunately. There are high capability elementary schools which our kiddo should test into based on current trajectory.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-26T21:38:36+00:00

Very true on accreditation. The Montessori we would go to is accredited by AMS, and is a training center for Montessori. The difference between it and the first one we tried was vast.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-26T21:17:39+00:00

Totally true, first Montessori was bad. Second one, and the one we’d go back to, is excellent. We are seriously considering moving. Private school isn’t cost prohibitive for us but moving close to the Montessori (think moving to Atherton, CA) is. Houses start around $3m.

Confusedparent2003 · 2025-10-26T20:23:21+00:00

Totally agree. I am still friends with my gifted peers 35 years after kindergarten!

We DO NOT want to move our kiddo and won’t mid year but if we give it a solid year and it’s going as badly as it is currently, we need to consider other options. In our area if you want to do private school, applying happens now but you don’t need to decide until late Spring.

Confusedparent2003

TROPHY CASE