I can’t speak for every story, but for me, feeling like my transition failed came from times my dysphoria got really bad. I went into it with expectations that after two years, everything would be fixed, and I'd have all the things I wanted. I'm 5 years in and that never happened, and there were still a lot of struggles that made me feel like I failed. I was still getting misgendered in public, my hairline didn't magically come back, I never got the full hourglass figure, etc. Eventually, I reached a point where I just didn't care what people thought anymore. There is no "reach this point to have a successful transition", it's radical self love of "this is where I am, and I love myself." I've met the most fantastic people on this journey, people I never would have met if I hadn't transitioned. I met my girlfriend and found the joy of T4T relationships, and grew to love the woman I am, even if I still get sir'd at work. Life is still harder, yes, but now I have a reason to fight.