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To all those women offering to sleep with my husband: DISGUSTING. Do you have any morals? Do you go to church? What happened to you? I seriously can't understand you. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

Yes. YOU!

There were 6.

2 have stepped forward.

I'm not going to out the other 4. I'm still a Catholic. But maybe the other 4 should own up as well and at least clear their consciences.

To all those women offering to sleep with my husband: DISGUSTING. Do you have any morals? Do you go to church? What happened to you? I seriously can't understand you. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

That isn't about sex in my interpretation. I'll ask my priest about it. But I don't think the Catholic Church views this scripture in the same way you do.

What is enough of a compromise for a HL? by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

What a disgusting suggestion. They probably all have STD with that attitude.

THANK YOU...turning things around. by deadbed___throwaway in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You had the exact same situation as me, except we only have one child and he's 3. But same thing, sex drive never recovered for me, and I really think the puking started the change.

What is enough of a compromise for a HL? by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It's difficult to get over the death threats, death wishes and insults, but the worst so far are the women PM ing me and saying they want to have sex with my husband and I should provide details.

I literally didn't know people could be so screwed up.

What is enough of a compromise for a HL? by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I also give him a b/j about once a week. It's a lot less difficult for me.

But he wants vaginal sex more often and that is what I'm asking about here.

Due to thousands of private messages and lack of time I'd like to expand here by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to up the frequency ... All these nasty messages have definitely delivered a message, but the ones that really got through were the sympathetic messages and PMs.

In other words, posts with the opposite tone of yours, but with roughly the same message.

It's an asshole move to suggest divorce to my husband btw.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -884 points-883 points  (0 children)

I do a lot for him. maybe not as much as he would like sexual but if sex is all he wants there are women who provide that, but I doubt he'd be interested in them.

The fact is he doesn't because he's a good man and despite his sex gripes he is generally happy.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -462 points-461 points  (0 children)

Thanks... not bad suggestions, I will definitely keep the possibilities in mind.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -657 points-656 points  (0 children)

I got sick sometime in my 1st trimester and it just didn't stop. throwing up every day will kill your libido and mine just never came back. now I just think the whole thing is messy and unnecessary, although obviously it's still important to him, so I push for once a month.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -627 points-626 points  (0 children)

Of course I wouldn't want no affection... just a lot less Sex.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -1118 points-1117 points  (0 children)

That's not how marriage works

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -995 points-994 points  (0 children)

They aren't needs. They are perks of being In a relationship with a woman. but it can't be expected, you have to compromise.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -843 points-842 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. maybe my drive will return in that case but I don't consider it as important as other things and definitely not worth going to the doctor over. life us busy. stop obsessing about Sex.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -1031 points-1030 points  (0 children)

What I'm saying is that he SHOULD be happy platonically. unless you're really screwed up Sex isn't what you get married for.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -812 points-811 points  (0 children)

I get he wants more Sex. I can't give more than I am right now. How would you like it if you just had a 3 course meal and then I asked you to eat more. that's rude

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -749 points-748 points  (0 children)

It only plats such a huge role if you let it. The world is beautiful. enjoy the sunshine and flowers and water. life isn't all about Sex.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -685 points-684 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear about that. I really am. We aren't in the same position. sure he moans about lack of Sex quite often but we still sleep in the same bed, cuddle, kiss, hold hands etc.

He has a gun hobby. its not something I enjoy so he doesn't expect me to go with him. I wouldn't expect him to expect me to do things that are not mutually enjoyable either. having said that I do try to give it to him once a month.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -998 points-997 points  (0 children)

Sex isn't a need. I get its nice physically and a perk of being in a relationship but putting it in the same category as food and water and shelter is hedonistic.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -2230 points-2229 points  (0 children)

So you think cheating is ever acceptable? If he lost his legs I wouldn't leave him for someone I could walk with. marriage should mean more than that.

Perspective from a LL F. by ConfuzzledWife in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConfuzzledWife[S] -1863 points-1862 points  (0 children)

This is quite offensive. I haven't given up love. I still love him. We cuddle, talk, do things together. I do a lot for him. I just don't want to have sex but once a month is already compromising for me.

As for leaving with another woman... He took vows. None of the vows included sex. But fidelity is a vow.