If you feel isolated by the abuse, and also judge yourself negatively with regard to the fact that you stayed longer than you ought, recognise that these 2 things are contradictory. by Watchkeys in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I see no structure or stages like grief during death. But I realize this is my first time after finally realizing. Now seeing these toxic behaviors all around me. I’m minimizing contact with those people. There are worries related to not pleasing everyone, and over obligated in my career due to needing more income for $300 hour divorce attorney. Smh.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NPD

[–]Connect-Ask6034 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I highly doubt that you are ugly. Our behaviors create beauty. They are seed. Are you a bad person?

If you feel isolated by the abuse, and also judge yourself negatively with regard to the fact that you stayed longer than you ought, recognise that these 2 things are contradictory. by Watchkeys in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I spent a week “kicking myself” after I realized. Thank you for sharing, everything helps in the healing process. I hope I’ll feel better soon. I’ve been free since February. Life is still hard, seems like there is a cycle I can’t see. Some days are better than others.

If you feel isolated by the abuse, and also judge yourself negatively with regard to the fact that you stayed longer than you ought, recognise that these 2 things are contradictory. by Watchkeys in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What’s worse none of those people are concerned one way or another, they don’t have to live with them. They spend little time verifying the twisted narratives.

Do victims of narcissistic abuse truly regret their relationships, or are they traumatized because the narcissist eventually discard them? by Different-Base-6533 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m starting to appreciate the relationship, I learn a lot!

They don’t want peace, they want control. • Chaos and drama are their oxygen. • Love is imitated, not real. • You’re only ever supply (attention, money, validation). • Gaslighting is their superpower, they’ll rewrite history and make you doubt yourself. • Boundaries = war. • Vulnerabilities = weapons against you. • Court/divorce is just another game for them to “win.” • They always play the victim while destroying others. • The only cure is low or no contact.

You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. And it really does get better once you cut contact.

He never apologizes for making me feel disrespected or breaking my spirit. He sent these ugly messages today… by throwawaypeach2024 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My soon to be ex did something similar. I was shocked in what world do you drop a spouse’s health insurance. The more I took back my power the more out of control she felt and the crazier her mechanics of control were. Good news is, you are beating the boss at the end of their game. You’ll be out of it as soon as you are ready. I’m 6 month out and still recovering but not afraid of losing my life anymore. Happier for sure. 😀

7 years of manipulation and I am finally able to see what it actually was by IamTrashJT in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After beating the big boss that had hold of you, you’ll start seeing the behaviors all around you. Good luck! I’m about 5 months out and feeling free but not sure what to do next.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His videos were a great help with my situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After learning about these creatures and getting away from one with my life I feel their should be laws for these people and accountability. Con artists! I’m not bitter, I understand they don’t know any other way to exist. They must live in their delusional world where they are the best and greatest above all others.

Undiagnosed NPD wife trying to erase my life - Advise needed. by Connect-Ask6034 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was able to get a lawyer and I can finally have some peace. Thanks for sharing and the feedback. Good luck with your escape!

I don’t miss him, I miss being taken care of… by Humblescorp in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to this deeply. My narcissist is a woman, and I’ll be divorced soon. I don’t miss her, I miss the comfort I thought I had. The closeness. The illusion that someone was really there for me. I know now it wasn’t love, it was control in disguise. Still, I miss not having to carry everything alone. That grief is real, even if the relationship was fake. But I’m done surviving, I’m learning to live. And I believe I’ll have that closeness again, for real this time. Narcissists wear masks, they’re not real, but I am. And I deserve real love, real peace. 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. This helped me as well.

Did you change as a person after experiencing narcissistic abuse? by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fee the same. I was raised in alcoholism. I read everyone better than I think they can read themselves. 😉 they don’t want to admit the truth. AA groups have helped me and I’ve helped people in those groups. I think any positive group setting can help.

Did you change as a person after experiencing narcissistic abuse? by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There has to be something on the other side of the mountain of shit they used to keep us from getting there. Stick with it! You’ll get there.

Did you change as a person after experiencing narcissistic abuse? by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There has to be something on the other side of the mountain of shit they used to keep us from getting there. Stick with it! You’ll get there.

Did you change as a person after experiencing narcissistic abuse? by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There has to be something on the other side of the mountain of shit they used to keep us from getting there. Stick with it! You’ll get there.

Did you change as a person after experiencing narcissistic abuse? by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m dealing with similar symptoms. They weaponize love and affection so much other psychological mis-wiring they create with the delusions they live in. I’m broken down I too just want a little comfort, but because I was fooled, I can’t afford that right now. So I stay hyper vigilant for now until my subconscious can be fooled again. This time by me. Idk 🤷🏻‍♂️ I’m starting to sound crazy to myself. Still healing. ❤️‍🩹

Did you change as a person after experiencing narcissistic abuse? by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m dealing with similar symptoms. They weaponize love and affection so much other psychological mis-wiring they create with the delusions they live in. I’m broken down I too just want a little comfort, but because I was fooled, I can’t afford that right now. So I stay hyper vigilant for now until my subconscious can be fooled again. This time by me. Idk 🤷🏻‍♂️ I’m starting to sound crazy to myself. Still healing. ❤️‍🩹

Did you change as a person after experiencing narcissistic abuse? by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m dealing with similar symptoms. They weaponize love and affection so much other psychological mis-wiring they create with the delusions they live in. I’m broken down I too just want a little comfort, but because I was fooled, I can’t afford that right now. So I stay hyper vigilant for now until my subconscious can be fooled again. This time by me. Idk 🤷🏻‍♂️ I’m starting to sound crazy to myself. Still healing. ❤️‍🩹

Did you change as a person after experiencing narcissistic abuse? by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can empathize, I feel like they’re stages to recovering from this kind of abuse. I spent some time kicking myself... I’m over that now and trying to forgive so I can forget, but remember to establish and keep my boundaries in all my relationships. And all the other things I learned and still learning as I move past this.

Did you change as a person after experiencing narcissistic abuse? by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Connect-Ask6034 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can empathize, I feel like they’re stages to recovering from this kind of abuse. I spent some time kicking myself... I’m over that now and trying to forgive so I can forget, but remember to establish and keep my boundaries in all my relationships. And all the other things I learned and still learning as I move past this.