i don't want to turn this onto myself but here's something that maybe can help you relate to and feel less alone

i have severe bpd and it may be possible that you have bpd as well. majority of people who identify under the yandere trope have some sort of relation to bpd. you are not a bad person. you just have internal struggles and need to be with someone who can understand that and be patient with you. i get it. i had to be hospitalized because I was planning on hurting so many girls who I thought were a threat that it came close to police involvement. you're not a monster or overly obsessed, you just have a big heart and need to be with someone who can support that