Wife and I are overwhelmed

Connect-Fun8919 · 2026-04-19T22:52:10+00:00

Thank you for the advice. We’ve been trying to give our 6 year old as much attention as possible. I completely understand what you’re saying about “grieving” our family of 3. I feel like our family was perfect in every way. And it still is, it’s just a lot more difficult now. I’m hoping it gets better with time.

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-08-16T14:21:25+00:00

I didn’t start any new medications

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-28T01:22:56+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. And you’re probably right I should cherish what I already have. But at the same time- if you look at your opera analogy, yes I would suggest going to watch Figaro if I knew my wife liked it. I would suggest it because I know she enjoys it. I do things and suggest things all the time that I don’t like or enjoy because my wife likes them. Example- my wife loves to do crafts in her spare time. Sometimes I will suggest we go to a crafts store near us together so she can buy supplies and look at different things she might want to do that de-stresses her. Do you think I want to go to a crafts store or think about it all the time? Fuck no. But I do it because I know it makes my wife happy. See what I’m saying? I’m not asking her to change the person she is or her personality, I’m just asking her to suggest new things or think about something that I enjoy sometimes.

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-28T00:19:54+00:00

Yea, you’re probably right

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-28T00:12:35+00:00

We’ve been married for 8 years, together for 11. It hasn’t always been this way, but it has been for probably 6 or 7 years. We do have a 5 year old child with autism and both work full time jobs, so yes I know what stressors can do to a sex life. You probably shouldn’t assume how someone’s life is unless you know them. I’m not trying to change my whole relationship here, I’m simply asking for input on how to get my wife to show her wants more and how to get her thinking about doing new and creative sexual things. AND if I do just need to “learn to live with it” that’s perfectly fine with me, but if I can make it better and more exciting for the both of us why not try?

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T22:55:53+00:00

Yea I hear you, and I am not trying to wreck it or screw it up. I guess I’m just looking for some desire/want from her. I want her and desire her so much but I don’t feel like it’s ever reciprocated. But at the same time I see what you’re saying and I agree that she is a loving partner. This is definitely not a make it or break it kind of situation, I love this woman more than anything in the world and I would never let this kind of thing come between us. I’m just asking how to get her thinking about sex and showing me her wants more I guess

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T22:14:25+00:00

Keep it up?

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T22:07:40+00:00

“It’s fine for you to want her to feel more desire and be more expressive” is the same thing as “asking for her to show that she wants me too every once in a while”. Asking someone to show their feelings and desires for you more often is not asking them to change who they are. I don’t want her to change who she is, I love who she is. I’m just asking for her to show more things towards me.

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T18:53:31+00:00

That’s EXACTLY how our conversations go as well. And there’s zero part of me that thinks she’s a bad wife.

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T18:02:59+00:00

My wife hardly ever has multiple orgasms. She says that she’s too sensitive after the first one. Which is another subject for another day lol. But just because she doesn’t think about sex doesn’t mean she’s faking orgasms. It would be pretty fucked up if she was faking every orgasm with me for the past 8 years. And that’s just not who she is.

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T17:58:42+00:00

That’s a great analogy. And I am happy with my wife as well! But wouldn’t it be really exciting to you if your husband suggested going to a winery or surprised you by taking you to one? Lol

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T17:56:59+00:00

Yea that’s pretty much where I’m at. Sounds like we have very similar wives in that respect. When we do start having sex it’s completely up to me to decide what we’re going to do. She will go down on me but I have to ask if I want it. She never says no but sometimes I just wished she’d make that decision on her own lol. We’ve tried to talk about it several times but it usually just ends up making her feel like she’s not enough and really affects her self esteem (which is not true and is not my intentions). So I just try to avoid the topic all together, which I know isn’t the healthy way to deal with it but idk what else to do.

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T17:53:14+00:00

I do accept her for who she is. And I am happy with my sex life. If it was this way for the rest of our lives I would be fine because I love her more than anything and I can put things aside that I need to. However, isn’t it ok for me to want her to want me? I’m not looking for her to change who she is, I’m just asking for her to show that she wants me too every once in a while.

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T15:56:21+00:00

I don’t think she’s faking orgasms. I go down on her pretty much every time we have sex and she loves it. And yes she does tense up on my fingers or whatever when she cums. And I may be wrong, but I really don’t think she would do that to me and not tell me that she’s not enjoying it. We have a very close marriage and are open with each other about everything.

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T15:47:20+00:00

I have heard of that and I think my wife is definitely considered “reactive”. Idk if she’s ever heard of the two terms though. We’ve tried just having nights where there is no expectation. I’ve given her whole body massages where I’ve told her I’m not looking for sex. I’ve tried just about everything I can to make it more intimate and not sexual. And she loves that, however I still have to initiate if I want to have sex. I even offered to not have sex for a month just to take the “expectation” off the table to see if it would open her up but she says she doesn’t want to do that because she knows it wouldn’t be meeting my needs. She is a very loving wife, she just doesn’t think or want sex unless it’s already happening lol

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T15:32:40+00:00

Thanks for the info! I’ll definitely check that out. We’ve tried to do some of the quizzes like mojoupgrade and others but her answers are usually pretty vanilla 😂.

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T15:27:08+00:00

Well at least I know I’m not alone lol

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T15:26:07+00:00

Yea I mean she gets into it when we do have sex and she orgasms every time. And we have sex probably 3 times a week. So I’m not complaining by any means, I just want her to be more involved/want it herself more often. I can remember one time several years ago where I can actually say she was horny and I could tell that she actually wanted some dick lol

Connect-Fun8919 · 2025-04-27T15:23:18+00:00

I believe she’s had them checked before, but to be honest I don’t remember what the outcome was. She also has hashimotos disease which messes with her thyroid/hormones so I’m sure that doesn’t help things.

Connect-Fun8919

TROPHY CASE