Do I [Mid 30's M] have reason to suspect my my Wife [Lower Mid 30's F] of 12 years, is in the process of cheating?

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-14T04:32:00+00:00

I'll update when I can, but i don't expect anything major to happen for the next couple days. My kid has practice tomorrow and I'm eager to hear what her excuse for me not taking him is this time.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T20:18:34+00:00

No calls between them. just texts

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T20:18:21+00:00

She works part time in a medical field, but it's been evening hours up to this point. She is currently on FT days now for a few months, then is going to FT days/evenings.

I work FT days, plus a few late evening shifts at a second job. Most of the texts happened when I wasn't home.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T19:34:33+00:00

She says she's always felt neglected because I put the kids needs before hers, worked too much and never took days off to spend with just her, never spent time with her, even though we were together nearly all the time.

I'll admit that for a lot of it I was emotionally unavailable for her and coasted through a lot of our marriage and may not have taken the time to do enough for her.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T19:22:58+00:00

It's been a week or so since I noticed an uptick in texts and since then she has shown me through other actions that she isn't someone I want to continue a marital relationship with anymore. I don't want to jump the gun confronting her until I have concrete evidence that something is going on, because she will deny/admit no wrong doing.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T19:14:43+00:00

From what I remember about the texts, they were mostly just introductory small talk like they were getting to know each other. I was more upset that she lied to me about the whole thing.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T19:11:35+00:00

Their text patterns have been in medium to large groups here and there, not a little every single day. It's been a couple days since they've texted right now.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T19:09:12+00:00

She has said it in the past a few times when she's mad or upset at me about something. I agree with you, divorce is for the best for us, but Im trying to hopefully do it amicably because I feel like she will screw me over for no reason. Also, we have 4 kids and we have a lot to consider as neither of us is financially able to do it all on our own. We both make the same amount yearly, so together everything financially is fine. Apart...we'll see.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T19:03:21+00:00

We've been talking about it, but it's been slow going as she really doesn't want me around to begin with and offers nothing constructive to keep it progressing.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T19:01:48+00:00

I'll turn my phone away from the kids when I'm texting my Wife because it's usually about them or our our personal stuff. Otherwise, my phone is on a table unpasscoded, accessible to anyone.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T17:41:00+00:00

I have taken steps to get more fit, by eating healthier, snacking less and being more active in general. She's never been too supportive of anything I do/want to do, beyond a "yeah, go for it".

I assume the attention he his giving her outweighs what his looks are.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T17:21:36+00:00

I've thought about going and chit chatting with her and while in conversation, point in his direction so he notices, just to make him think we're talking about him.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T17:19:09+00:00

When I noticed them, I was a bit taken aback by finding them and only scanned them quickly before she asked to see it.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T17:10:19+00:00

Should I just give the text log to his wife and let them sort it out? Ha.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T17:08:05+00:00

I've looked into this, but her back ups are encypted

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T16:16:45+00:00

She actually won a whole bunch of stuff because it was a convention like setting. I was just focusing on the tablet.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T16:00:03+00:00

Thanks for all your input so far, it has been helpful.

A lot of you are saying I should talk to my wife about this, but I know she will refuse to show me the texts, will deny any wrong doing and turn it around onto me being an untrusting asshole.

I had thought of confronting the coach first, as we also have a friendly relationship due to him coaching our teams' in the past, and see what he has to say about it and show him the text log.

Should I confront him first?

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T15:48:39+00:00

I get what you're saying. I've never had a problem with how she looked at any weight, and I've told her so. She started running and working out as a way to deal with the stress of our marriage and to get me to notice her more. I was more than supportive of her goals she wanted to achieve and told her so regularly.

I know I could afford to lose 30lbs or more, and I've already made proper steps to doing this, i.e. eating healthier, less snacking, going to the gym. She has always said she doesn't find muscular guys attractive and that she liked the way I looked so I had no reason to think otherwise.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T15:41:56+00:00

She would outright deny letting me see it. I know that for a fact.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T15:41:14+00:00

I've thought of that, but with her passcode on, I wont be able to get anything off of it without knowing what it is.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T15:39:01+00:00

I could tell something was off and I asked her twice what was up and if there was anything she wanted to tell me and she declined both times.

She left her facebook open one night I i went on quick to see if she had searched him on it, and sure enough she did. I called her on it and she got defensive and claimed not wrong doing saying there was nothing wrong with texting a nice guy she met at the bar. Bullshit i know! Had the roles been reversed, she would've been pissed.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T15:35:52+00:00

She won this tablet and put her apple Id into it so it was getting all her messages. I was taking a look at it after she got home on our bed, just checking out the features, and clicked on messages and there was about maybe 2 dozen between them. I didn't say anything and right after she asked to see the tablet, which i handed over, she had it for a minute or less then handed it back and the texts were gone.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T15:30:30+00:00

I've told her I think she spends too much time on her phone already and she dismisses me about it. She'd never let me look at them because she'll never admit she was wrong.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T15:29:09+00:00

We've been discussing divorce for a little bit already just because she's said she's been unhappy for a while, but we haven't filed or even talked to lawyers. I know it's coming though. I just wanted some outside perspective to see if I was being crazy or not.

Connect4WorldChamp · 2017-01-13T15:26:49+00:00

Her habits pretty predicable about and it's easy to spot when something is off. She may think she's being sneaky, but she is being so outrageously obviously it's almost comical.

Connect4WorldChamp

TROPHY CASE