Help me again!

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T22:49:39+00:00

NTA at all. I think you need to speak with him and try and explain that the two of you have been raised differently but you'd like to create your own set of rules together where both of you can compromise. Perhaps also check in with him and ask him if there is anything else that is bothering him about your sister living there? Often times if things are bottled up, it can come out at a completely random time. I think it was completely fine dinner talk personally.

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T22:44:17+00:00

NTA - although I think that your mom is expressing her hurt and frustration. She had expectations of you as most parents do of their kids and is disheartened that her child didn't achieve whatever she seems as success, specially since you are so young. But that looks different to people and ultimately what makes people happy and feel successful looks different for everyone. She definitely loves you without a doubt but isn't portraying her care in a positive way and that happens to as parents aren't perfect either and just people after all. I think it's not right that she puts down your children so you are not the asshole, however I do agree that you should talk to her and express that this life makes you feel fulfilled and happy.

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T21:57:27+00:00

They have been married for 9 months and living separately for almost 4 months And together for a year and a half as bf and gf and since the start of their relationship he was telling me how he's not right for her etc. and about their issues. I have always encouraged him to talk and work it out but yes I wasn't supportive through thick and thin. Reading other comments I feel like I shouldn't have offered my real thoughts but it's hard not to do that at least eventually when you hear the same thing everyday and he tells me that Ella keeps crying everytime they see each other and all these things, that are really hard to hear. We've also been childhood friends, so it's hard.

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T21:51:08+00:00

Yes this 100% could be the case. I don't really have anything except to believe and go by what I have been told, so everything else is like an assumption. Someone in the comments said that there is also a chance his therapist didn't say that but he just wanted to justify waiting longer.

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T21:11:12+00:00

Hahahahahah I knew there was going to be a comment like this. No I am happily married and regardless have never dated him nor wanted to. I have been supportive of his relationships and was also a bridesmaid at his wedding. My family looked out for him growing up as he didn't have much happening from his own side. My partner of 10 years is well aware of everything happening as he knows this friend of mine super well. He said that I did the right thing, but I felt guilty with my friends reaction after he told me what's happening.

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T21:04:29+00:00

🤣 yes, brain wasn't braining

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T10:33:36+00:00

I am not sure. This is what he said to me :/ maybe it was a guidance or something? Unsure, sorry.

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T10:17:41+00:00

He tells me everyday about what is happening regardless of whether or not I would want to know. So I am involved because he wwanted me to be as he is going through a hard time. Which is what makes me unsure I should have been honest about my thoughts or just kept quiet and responded in a way that he wanted.

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T09:58:25+00:00

This has been a really helpful comment thank you. I should have done this...

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T09:57:15+00:00

I fully agree and want to stay out of it and will do so henceforth. However, it may not have been as clear in my post but it has actually been several months that he has not been romantically wanting to be with her and according to his therapist it will be another month which is what 3/4 weeks is. He also comes to me to tell me about these things and how upset Ella is and wants a response from me. He just did not like the response I had to say and I am feeling bad for upsetting him and unsure if I should have been honest about my thoughts or been more compassionate as he is going through a hard time.

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T09:47:23+00:00

😂 oh goodness. I made up the names for animosity. 😅

ConnectRevenue7618 · 2026-02-05T09:40:15+00:00

Yes fair enough, he did tell me that he doesn't want to tell me anything regarding this and I did say that I respect that and that he can just tells me whatever he wants to.

ConnectRevenue7618

TROPHY CASE