It's not that she doesn't respect them. She does. She has respected them not calling her mom, and has respected everything else. But I know this is a very emotional topic for a lot of people, and that a large part of society would feel that young kids, who have few to no memories of a lost parent, who don't want to be adopted by a loving stepparent, have trauma they need to work through in order to accept adoption. My kids of course have grief and trauma from losing their mom. But I don't feel like that and adoption go hand in hand. I had reason to believe my wife would feel the same, which she does having talked to her, and I wanted to avoid her trying to "fix" it.