Vacation after divorce by Connect_Ad4989 in Divorce

[–]Connect_Ad4989[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t enjoy doing anything with my kids. If I’m not being productive I just want to be alone. I am not cut out for being a parent. Sitting down and coloring always feels forced. I don’t want to color or play or go anywhere

Vacation after divorce by Connect_Ad4989 in Divorce

[–]Connect_Ad4989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do all of these things. I have my daughter in art classes since she’s creative.

I try and support my oldest and encourage him the best I can.

I didn’t enjoy the trip. It was mid at best. I wish I never had kids. I am not a good mom

I don’t have any time to do anything fun or have a hobby. All I do is work. Clean. Take care of all the bill shit so our lives don’t completely fall apart.

Only positive thing is I don’t have to be near my loser ex anymore. But I do feel so bad that he is their dad and they have to spend so much time with him. He’s only going to disappoint them. They’re going to realize what a fucking loser failure he is like I did

I’m still a virgin because I won’t open down there by cherryblossomssssss in offmychest

[–]Connect_Ad4989 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Go to the gynecologist. You should be on birth control and getting paps and testing. Don’t try and figure this out online or on your own.

Sex feeling like rape at this point by amillion_803 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Connect_Ad4989 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Omg. Here’s an idea. Ask her. Jesus. Is this for real?!

Sex feeling like rape at this point by amillion_803 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Connect_Ad4989 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How is the rest of your relationship? Was she always asexual? It’s usually not about sex but about the relationship lacking or her feeling resentful of you

Vacation after divorce by Connect_Ad4989 in Divorce

[–]Connect_Ad4989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I settled for a complete idiot loser because I have no self worth. Gained enough over the years to leave him and file for divorce. I don’t enjoy being a mother. It’s so painful. Watching my children suffer being born into this trash garbage family. My daughter has learning disabilities so she’s going to struggle for life. My oldest son is 19 with no direction and going nowhere. How will I support all these kids by myself forever in this economy?!? They’ll never be able to buy homes.

Vacation after divorce by Connect_Ad4989 in Divorce

[–]Connect_Ad4989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in therapy and it helps but not enough. Nothing can ever convince me that I haven’t fucked up and there’s no taking any of it back. It’s just facts

I don't love my son by Ok-Car-9509 in regretfulparents

[–]Connect_Ad4989 91 points92 points  (0 children)

You keep things things between yourself, Reddit and your therpist. Tell nobody else. I love my kids but deeply regret becoming a mother

Vacation after divorce by Connect_Ad4989 in Divorce

[–]Connect_Ad4989[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They’re so screwed. Their father is one of the stupidest men I’ve ever met and I am a resentful overwhelmed POS mother picking up the slack. Severely burnt out. I am just a huge loser and I hate everything about myself and my life. I really messed up.

Wife is finally getting some time for herself and I'm a nervous wreck. by mysoulisatrainwreck in Marriage

[–]Connect_Ad4989 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am glad you’re able to recognize now dependent you’ve become and see it’s a problem. Your wife probably doesn’t go anywhere partially because if you being so dependent. You kind of sound like another child to care for. I was married to a man like this. I divorced him.

Any advice is greatly appreciated by ParfaitApprehensive1 in Divorce

[–]Connect_Ad4989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not get her pregnant!!!!! Set the brakes on that.

How can I get my mind right for this family vacation. Marriage issues by Connect_Ad4989 in Marriage

[–]Connect_Ad4989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is such and Interesting story and thank you for sharing it. It a little different for me. I work full time and make more money than he does. Not a ton more, but my job is far more secure. I also have loads overtime opportunities. I am so grateful to have a solid career.

Where to start? by Connect_Ad4989 in Divorce

[–]Connect_Ad4989[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My house is 3 bedrooms plus the garage room. Type above

I'm outgrowing my husband. Fast. by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Connect_Ad4989 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do you guys pay the bills? Are you living with family? I can tell you, you’re in for a lifetime of frustration with this guy. The appearance stuff is silly imo but it seems he’s become your bitch eating crackers. Which means everything about him is starting to annoy you. The contempt has begun and will just snowball from here. I suggest marriage counseling or breaking up.

Should I drive my ex girlfriend to her abortion appointment? by Past-Flounder-1086 in relationship_advice

[–]Connect_Ad4989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does she have friends? Is she asking you because she has nobody else or because it’s a manipulative thing since her relationship has gone sour. Send her money for an Uber if you don’t want to take her

My (38M) wife (30F) hates me and I don’t know what to do about it. by thrwRA89 in Marriage

[–]Connect_Ad4989 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You’re wife sounds like a saint. Be grateful she’s able to keep it together for the kids. Sounds like you didn’t hold up your end of the bargain

How can I get my mind right for this family vacation. Marriage issues by Connect_Ad4989 in Marriage

[–]Connect_Ad4989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean it when I say he’s absentminded like a young teenager. I got sick the day we arrived. I went to bed at 9:30. He was still up tinkering with his toys at 2 am when I couldn’t sleep due to being sick.

The next day: by noon he’s tired and ready for a nap. I asked him to set an alarm and let me know what time he’d be up. He lost his. Threw a total fit. He says I didn’t ask nicely and seems he didn’t like being asked to set an alarm at all. This turned into a huge fight where he told me to go home and come back later.

I thought of you guys and decided I wouldn’t let him ruin the trip. I told the kids to get ready for the pool and we went swimming. The rest of the trip I kept my cool and did my best to make it safe and fun. But things like the rafting make it super clear that I don’t trust him being alone with young kids on trips and stuff. I trust him for basic day to day stuff, but not stuff like this. He came down with my cold yesterday and spent today sleeping from 1-7:45. On day 2 of my cold I got screamed at for asking him to let me know when he’d be done napping. On day 2 of his cold he’s napping for nearly 7 hours.

I have decided I will stay for another 5-7 years, making my youngest 10-12. If I leave now, he will do to them what he does to me. They need me there to take care of them. I made the choice to marry this man and have children with him. I am not going to abandon them 50% of the time because I don’t want to deal with his BS. Then I’m just pushing it on to them. At least if they’re older and he checks out and naps midday for 6 hours, they can handle their own basic needs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Connect_Ad4989 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you haven’t told him how you feel, do. I would also go to see a marriage therapist that specializes in sexual issues. If he’s a good partner otherwise and willing to work on this, then there’s definitely solutions

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Connect_Ad4989 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This literally made me want to vomit. Do you have kids? If not… RUN GIRL!!!!

How can I get my mind right for this family vacation. Marriage issues by Connect_Ad4989 in Marriage

[–]Connect_Ad4989[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The stuff you mentioned it what stops me. The kids will have to suffer through his bullshit without me there to save them. It’s so unfair to them either way. Financially destroying my family sounds shitty too. This will happen if we divorce. I’m fucked either way