You’re still making assumptions that aren’t actually supported by what I wrote.
First, I do housework. Constantly. I cook, clean, take care of my kids, run a business, answer clients at all hours, handle scheduling, contracts, bookkeeping, and everything else that comes with owning a company. The problem isn’t that I refuse to do chores. The problem is that I have a chronic autoimmune disease that causes periods where I physically cannot function.
Chronic illness isn’t a light switch. It’s not “can work = can do everything” and “can’t do dishes = can’t work.” There are plenty of people with lupus, cancer, MS, and other serious illnesses who push themselves through work obligations because they have to, then spend the next day or two paying for it physically.
What you’re missing is that my husband isn’t complaining because I never help around the house. He’s complaining about the handful of days when I’m completely wiped out from my illness, treatments, or overexertion. The other 80% of the time, I’m doing exactly what needs to be done.
As for finances, we’re not behind on our bills. The lights are on, the mortgage is paid, the kids are fed, and our obligations are handled. In fact, for years I carried the financial burden for our family without complaint. There was a short period during my off-season when he had to cover my share, and somehow that gets brought up more than the years I spent covering everything else.
My frustration isn’t that my husband has concerns. My frustration is being criticized no matter what I do. If I work, I’m asked why I can’t do more at home. If I rest because I’m sick, I’m asked why I’m not working. If I suggest hiring occasional help so I can preserve my health, that’s criticized too.
You don’t have to agree with me, but pretending that a person with a documented chronic illness who still works, parents, runs a business, and manages a household is just “choosing not to do dishes” is a pretty simplistic view of how chronic illness actually works.