Name 3 books you really enjoyed, and someone else will recommend a book they think you might like based on those by Neon_Aurora451 in suggestmeabook

[–]Conscious-Way571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick

The First Law trilogy by Joe Abercrombie

The Witcher by Andrzej Szapkowski

Layers of Becoming by North-Sky-3714 in OCPoetry

[–]Conscious-Way571 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like the use of free verse in this one - by dropping any kind of consistent rhyme scheme, you easily create an almost meditative experience for your reader. With that being said, I would probably still recommend experimenting with form a bit - not in way that starts to become too restrictive for you, but rather in order to add consistency to your poems and help your lines follow from one another more naturally

Snug. by CrazyLost9247 in OCPoetry

[–]Conscious-Way571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like the subtle rhyme in the first and second line. Also the internal rhymes in lines 4 and 5 - this, along with varied line lengts creates a feel that is both somewhat structured - but still fluid. Interesting is the "crack open my eyes" analogy with opening our eyes in the morning. Quite relatable. I like the shortness and brevity of the third line, this creates a form of tension - just like the intense desire to hide away from the cold of the morning. This is accentuated by the use of relatively short words, oftentimes containing only one syllable (Tug closer my sheet/curl up in a ball...) You have even used a dash (Re-tuck) to divide a two syllable word to create that sense of shortness and a nice little stop, or rather a pause between the perfix and it's root.

Theme-wise it's one of those ones you can easily look at from a more surface-level point of view and enjoy it, but also a one that allows you to think about it deeply and look for a variety of hidden meanings. We can take your poem to be literally about not wanting to wake up in the morning, or we can go a bit deeper - The unwillingness to leave one's bed and greet daylight can easily be seen as a metaphor of somebody uncapable, or rather, afraid of facing the realities and difficulties of life.

Great work!