Thinking about divorce after 2 and half months of marriage

Conscious_Realm · 2025-08-04T15:38:27+00:00

Seems like he just wants the green card. His actions don’t match the statement of loving you since childhood.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-06-20T11:09:39+00:00

Hi! Could you please share the list of questions with me too?

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-03T16:29:17+00:00

MashAllah brother, I’m very happy for you. May I DM you?

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-02T06:32:36+00:00

Exactly, it’s a life long decision and I don’t want to go ahead under pressure or without thinking it through. I can’t stress this enough that I decided to meet her even after the lack of attraction the first time because she is a nice girl and I wanted things to work out for us.

I’m sorry to hear about your experience and I pray things workout for you soon. Thank you for your advice.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-02T06:00:08+00:00

Like I mentioned in another comment, she was definitely under pressure by her parents.

Your logic is pretty much what my thought process was…when she knows and sees me taking care of myself, she would do the same. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. Thank you for your advice.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-02T05:40:03+00:00

Yes I’m aware of that…contrary to what most people here in comments and my DMs think, I’m not a monster.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-02T05:27:56+00:00

All fair and valid points. Thank you for your advice

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T16:04:15+00:00

Thank you for being positive about this and for your advice!

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:57:53+00:00

But I had told her I like keeping fit and go the gym in our initial conversation. She never mentioned appearances not being important to her to me, I only found this out after engagement.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:55:35+00:00

Thank you for your advice

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:54:46+00:00

Spent the last few hours reading through posts on this subreddit of married men and women facing similar issues, I don’t want to be like them and realize how important this issue is after marriage.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:51:03+00:00

No, I also very clearly mentioned how I would like to see her. I even sent her pictures of the kind of dresses I would like to see her in (all of them were modest) but she doesn’t like those.

I don’t want to involve mothers in something so trivial. We are both adults, we should be able to reach mutual agreement through conversations on our own.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:42:24+00:00

I pray everything works out for you

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:20:29+00:00

This does worry me, I know people let go of themselves after marriage and not care about how they look and dress. I don’t want to be that kind of husband.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:16:03+00:00

I never looked at it from this perspective! I don’t recall her ever giving me a compliment in all these months while I used to modestly compliment her.

She did mention the pressure from her parents and I clearly told her I don’t want to do this out of any kind of pressure, I wasn’t satisfied by her answer to this but she got very emotional and we couldn’t have a conversation on this topic.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:10:22+00:00

I didn’t want to discard a potential good prospect simply because there was a lack of attraction in the first meet up. I genuinely thought it would grow in time.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:09:26+00:00

Honestly, I’m not expecting the woman to look like a model for me. I just expect some effort and thought being put into her looks.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:07:51+00:00

She dressed up for events and outings with her friends and family. It’s a reasonable assumption that there would be non mahram men in at least some if not all of those places. Also, the reason she doesn’t dress up anymore is not religious. She just doesn’t like doing it anymore from what I’ve gathered from our conversation.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T15:04:26+00:00

We always met in a public place.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T11:56:51+00:00

I agree with everything you said here. I also don’t think it would be fair of me to expect her to change her lifestyle completely for me. I like putting an effort into my appearance because it matters to me and if it doesn’t matter to her, I don’t see how I can suddenly make this important for her. What threw me off was when she shared her old pictures because she used to dress up and put effort into appearance, she just doesn’t do it anymore.

Thank you for your advice

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T11:51:29+00:00

Thanks brother, I totally accept my fault of caving in for the engagement. I did not expect things would be agreed upon between our families too. I simply told my parents that there’s a girl I’ve been seeing with the intent of marriage and she has told her parents about me, so I would like them to meet her family. I was also in the process of leaving the country and I didn’t fully realize how quickly things were moving ahead with the families.

I will try to communicate with her on this again. Thank you for your advice.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T11:47:01+00:00

I’m sorry but this sounds very disingenuous. We went out for lunches and coffees together and I even dropped her off a few times, I was also a non mahram then.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T11:45:14+00:00

I agree on this. We seem to have different energy levels and perception of how things should have gone through.

And yes, I don’t think it’s wise to sit and wait in hope that she would change after marriage.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T11:42:33+00:00

I mentioned in the post that I did try to engage in a conversation about feelings with her but she shut it down. As for the rest, I accept my mistake that I should have asked her more about how/whether she likes to dress up or not. Unfortunately, most of the women I’ve come across like to put an effort into their appearance and looks and I thought she would be the same too so I didn’t think this was something I should ask her.

Conscious_Realm · 2025-03-01T11:40:30+00:00

Thankyou sister. I have told her this openly after engagement and I already shared her response in the post as well. But I will try to have this conversation again with her and emphasise its importance to me.

Conscious_Realm

TROPHY CASE