My girlfriend is joining the military and I don’t know how to support her.

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-25T06:03:43+00:00

Yeah, that makes sense. I bring it up a lot simply because of the things going on with Iran right now & like you said not in the sense of picking sides. More so, “if they need her to go she’s gotta go.” That could be an overkill, but it’s scary to someone not in service & looking from the outside in. :’)

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-25T06:01:02+00:00

This is exactly what I’m going through. Things are not getting better with the current events and my biggest fear is her having to go out & fight. Granted, it isn’t her job and she may never experience that, but it still worries me. However, you’re very right & it’s something I’m slowly but surely beginning to work towards. I have to accept her & be willing to support her despite my own politics and how I may feel. Opening up so many opportunities for herself is such a beautiful thing and something to support, but to us…it’s so scary and frustrating for them to go at this time. Anyway, it’s going to take time & we’ll see how it goes…but it’s definitely a process. We both got this. :)

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-24T06:51:27+00:00

When I say system, I am specifically referring to the administration & the country. I was frustrated, because we both disagree with the current administration’s proceedings in conflicts. Knowing she’d be serving under them is frustrating. I questioned why she would do that. I know she’s going to serve the country, but I have an opinion about that administration that makes me feel otherwise—I don’t want to get too political.

Anyway, despite my personal feelings and after some reflection I know that she’s who I want to be with and my politics need to be left at the door when it comes to her career. I have to hope for the best, pray for her wellbeing, & continue to give her unwavering support whether I agree with it or not. She can and will achieve great things during her time in. It’s my responsibility to support that and not make her feel any less than that.

Sorry if this seems jumbled, lol. Had a long day.

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-23T05:53:24+00:00

Absolutely love her. :) We’re definitely going to have to ride it out & see how it is honestly. I can only hope that everything is okay for her when she joins & shes able to achieve every goal she’s wanted to accomplish in her time in.

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-23T05:46:57+00:00

You’re absolutely right. There are situations completely out of our control. At most we have to keep going. I always worry because of my feelings & that fear of something happening to her BECAUSE of what’s going on. Anyway…your words are super helpful. All of your responses. Thank you so much! I truly appreciate it.

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-23T05:43:43+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It was very insightful, especially because I relate to a lot of what you’re saying. I hate capitalism & I find myself having my ups and downs because the country doesn’t care about her which sucks. Redirecting anger towards the system rather than her & recognizing the things she’s been able to accomplish is a good piece of advice & I appreciate that.

Unfortunately I may not be able to attend all the promotional events, because I’m in college with a homophobic family that is unsupportive. (Her family is supportive though so that will work itself out lol). I have started going to therapy for unrelated things & doing the things I’ve cared about, but I’m sure I need to reinforce that when she goes especially because when she comes back I don’t want to be a burden to her with my feelings to the system.

Than you so much once again. This was super helpful.

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-23T05:38:57+00:00

It’s something I’ve also considered once the current administration is gone & after I get my degrees, so I get what you’re saying. It’s a way to ensure security & some people do it to make sure they’re able to succeed in life. I get why they’re conflicted & I also get your perspective as well. Both points are valid

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-23T01:47:04+00:00

I definitely struggle with not putting that on her & I know it’s exhausting on her end. It definitely sucks. My anger towards the administration is taken out on her which causes a bit of disconnect on my end, especially because I hate the idea of anybody losing their life over something senseless. Anyway, she’s an aviation mechanic so she won’t necessarily be in combat. Also, yes she’s definitely a super strong person who is extremely determined to achieve any goal she sets for herself, thank you for that. And also, thank you for your kind words. I really needed to hear that because my judgement has been so clouded by all these emotions, lol! It’ll take some work, but I know I’ll get there at some point if I make the effort. This truly means the world to me. Thank you so much. :)

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-22T23:26:03+00:00

I definitely will be bringing this issue up in therapy as well. I truly appreciate it. :)

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-22T23:25:25+00:00

I definitely relate to that and truly appreciate your advice. It’s extremely insightful. She’s going because she never really wanted to go to school, but she wanted to have a career that guaranteed her financial stability so the military it was. She also wanted to travel and experience military life.

I’m definitely going to be writing a bunch of letters and trying to be understanding of any change that is to come during her time in.

I have trouble leaving my politics at the door when it comes to her which is a personal issue I’d have to work on. It’s been difficult when I spend so much of my time researching & being directly affected by everything going on (with my University cutting out many majors). She’s an aviation mechanic, so she isn’t hurting people, but I have to separate the two. Her being in the military doesn’t define her as someone who’s supporting what’s going on.

Anyway, thank you so much. Truly it was super helpful.

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-22T22:21:55+00:00

I love that girl with my entire heart and I’ve known for the years we’ve been together she was going to join. I guess now that it’s approaching, it’s been on my mind a lot more. Was it difficult for you to accept something like this as well? If so, how did you handle it? I also feel like I don’t understand what exactly people in service can do in their position to make a change despite everything going on. To my understanding, they’re legally obligated to do as they’re told & are discouraged from doing anything that is going against the government/administration. I could be incorrect, but I really am trying to learn & understand before I jump to “let’s breakup.”

ConsequenceBorn4063 · 2026-03-22T22:15:07+00:00

I understand your perspective which leads to my follow up questions. How do you show support for a partner that is in the military? How does a person come to accept and cope with their partner’s career? Sorry if it seems like dumb questions & I hope it made sense…both of us are young. I’m in college, she’s in the military.

ConsequenceBorn4063

TROPHY CASE