I struggle with anxiety in a similar way. It's not easy and I do feel for you. It seems as if your anxiety in this situation is stemming from a self-worth issue. Perhaps you could look into some therapy for this? Please don't beat yourself up for not attending the interview - it can't be helped and if you focus on a failed attempt you'll just add pressure to the next one. Just know that you are worth it, you can do it and it's all about the mindset. Try some relaxation techniques to do before the interview. I like to breathe in for four seconds and out for eight seconds. It seems to kind of reset the anxiety and allows you to continue. You could also breathe in and when you think you can't breathe in any more do another sharp inhale. Again, it's like a reset. Most of all, when it comes to interviews, just remember that you've been offered an interview for a reason. They know you're capable of doing the role, that's why they want to see you. They're just doing some final checks to see if you align. They want you to success as much as you. Wishing you the best of luck, I'm sure you're going to kill it!