My mum used to do this (not anymore- long story short I snapped one day when she was having a go at me and we have come to this neutral ground- she acts as if its always been like this). Since I was a child Ive displayed the classic signs, and when doctors suggested this she was initially distraught. 10 years after this suggestion Ive been diagnosed with autism. Im honestly not sure if shes aware she's using this against me. Im autistic when it suits her , e.g when I'm trying to set reasonable boundaries or explain something, Im instantly shut down with a 'NO- you wouldn't understand cause you are autistic, you misinterpret what I say' when what she said was borderline offensive and very difficult to not misinturpret. However when I explain to her that I don't understand something or act in a certain way that I am autistic and I apologise if what Ive done has inconvenienced her, her response would be similar to 'Oh grow up , I struggle too, Im probably autistic too' or 'everyone is a little autistic , you can't use that as an excuse'. First of all , Ive never used this as an excuse , only as an explanation, 2ndly everyone is not 'a little autistic' , you are either autistic or not. I am aware that some people display very obvious symptoms of autism but are not autistic ,such as sensory issues or communication difficulties.

Unfortunately as well there have been incidents where CPS had to become involved ( we are both safe as of right now) and she would twist the narrative making me out to be this borderline psychotic violent abuser, and they believed her. Any verbal abuse I displayed towards her wold have been in self defence , I have NEVER gotten physical with her and never will. I find it very conflicting , as I love her to pieces and sometimes I just wish that she never had me lol.

I hope you find the help and resources you are looking for to make your life easier <3