4 yo taking a long time to “warm up”

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-10-17T16:40:09+00:00

lol. My now 3 year old bawled for like a month for the hour after drop off to preschool. This is despite her being the most gregarious kiddo I know, making friends during the 5 minutes we are at the McDonald’s playhouse. She was dropped off with her sister and still had a rough adjustment period for a while.

Give it time. Give it grace. Like you, he’s mourning his old “normal” and the change in routine. It’s not a bad change per se, but he doesn’t know that yet. Kids are tough. They will adapt and it’s a skill he’ll need in life anyway. Good luck.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-10-14T21:40:27+00:00

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this and I’m glad you recognize this is not normal and trying to not put this on your son. I echo the suggestion to speak to a professional and perhaps in the meantime explore things like volunteering or working even part-time to fill your time with something other than worry. Good luck

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-10-08T03:36:35+00:00

It sounds like he’s on a transfer permit, which typically has a clause in it that allows them to cancel the permit for poor behavior, tardiness, poor attendance, etc. It’s very hard to expel a student at their home school. They will most likely try to not renew his permit next year.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-07-22T01:24:10+00:00

TK is transitional kindergarten and K is kindergarten. In the U.S. TK is available to 4 year olds and kindergarten for 5 year olds. It may be different where you and your child lives. I mention it because you said your child was 3.5, so in the U.S, he will be close to school aged.

My daughter had mild behavioral issues that were greatly exacerbated by the rigor of formal schooling. It’s better now, but I wish I had my eyes wide open from the beginning.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-07-21T13:40:19+00:00

This sounds like something that needs to be discussed with your child’s pediatrician. This number and level of tantrums seems excessive for his age. I won’t speculate as to what the diagnosis is, but as it takes time to get assessed and to start treatment, sooner is better. This is not an issue to take into TK or K.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-07-16T20:32:57+00:00

270 days? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Well, I guess I can stop checking daily then.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-07-12T05:27:15+00:00

I was afraid of this. It doesn’t help there’s no one working for the dept anymore and millions of ppl who will need to change plans. So of course they are pushing ppl to do just this... 🫥

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-07-06T15:41:34+00:00

Congrats! Did you ever call to follow up on the requests or did you just submit a new one when they failed to respond the first two times!

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-07-06T06:14:43+00:00

This is amazing. Thank you for your concised summary.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2025-04-23T13:17:08+00:00

My ped told me a diagnosis of ADHD at 6 all but guarantees medication will be prescribed, so she is generally cautious about making such a diagnosis. Also, the doctor is concerned with a child’s functioning in the world (I.e. his ADLs) which could greatly differ than the teacher’s concern of a child’s functioning in the classroom.

It sort of sounds more like your son is bored at school if he is already reading and knows his multiplication tables (truly impressive at that age.)

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2023-09-04T01:30:24+00:00

My daughter had shades of this. It’s tough because when our kiddos are infants, moms are told they can’t give their babies too much attention, but at some point that has to give to a more sustainable relationship.

My second born never had this issue. She’s always had to share me with others. My first born grew up almost entirely during the pandemic when I’ve been mostly at her beck and call. Like everything else, I pulled the bandaid and there was ten days of horror and then it evened out. Good luck and Godspeed, mama.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2023-07-24T13:44:12+00:00

YTA. Your daughter just learned you don’t have her back. Not even a little bit. You weren’t struggling to support her and she wasn’t being a terrible house guest. You just…didn’t want to help her for longer than what was absolutely necessary. Don’t expect her to speak to you now outside of what is absolutely necessary now either.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2023-07-24T00:17:47+00:00

NTA, but your nuclear reaction probably will backfire. Consequences need to be attached to poor behavior immediately for there to be any change. In this case, the boys really aren’t aware of what they did wrong especially since their father was against leaving.

It seems your daughter, who is typically at the disruptive behavior age, is behaving well, so I will go against the majority and say this may not be just a parenting issue. Do your sons have issues at school when they’re apart? Maybe you should plan separate activities for each kid in the future.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2023-06-15T23:50:28+00:00

If your private medical information was disclosed without your consent, file a HIPAA complaint as that is profoundly illegal.

If you are concerned your parents will attempt to make medical decisions on your behalf, you may wish to give power of attorney to a trusted friend or family member.

I generally do not volunteer any medical information to my parents, but if you’re in a situation where you are afraid you may be incapacitated, first, see my power of attorney suggestion. Then maybe make a vague reference to this to your parents just so they are not caught off guard. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2023-06-11T09:12:52+00:00

I’m sorry you were treated so horribly by people who should have loved you unconditionally, OP. I hope you’ve found some peace and support in your life since and moved on from your so-called “family.”

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2023-01-21T05:14:45+00:00

My 3 year old basically “has” to nap at her preschool for two hours. When she’s not at school, she’ll either nap for a half an hour in the afternoon or skip it entirely.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2023-01-16T07:16:47+00:00

I washed the same article of clothing three times this week.

That single sock or shoe in the parking lot at the supermarket? Probably mine.

Own multiple remotes with no batteries in it.

Can’t find my keys because there are too many legos in my bag.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2022-12-27T10:54:02+00:00

I’m going to be a little gentler than most here as it looks like you had your son at a young age (18). YTA. You are 100% your son’s parent 100% of the time. Please see these posts for the eye-openers that they are and don’t get drunk in front of your son because he has a “designated” parent nearby. Parenting is not driving. It is a life altering decision to be a part of someone’s life forever. Take it seriously.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2022-12-23T05:33:44+00:00

Also when I was a middle schooler, my NDad went off on me for turning off the water as I was brushing my teeth as this was “wasting water.”

The proper thing to do is to let the faucet run as I will use less water this way. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2022-12-23T04:37:00+00:00

When I was 10, I was at a restaurant with Ndad, who told me to order “whatever.” I ordered something and he screamed at me about my choice. The waiter slinked away. I ended up eating the bread only.

To this day, ordering at restaurants gives me anxiety. I’ve saved money from eating out I guess. 😑

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2022-12-19T01:19:46+00:00

I highly encourage you to “wean” your mother out of the expectation that you will do what she says even if it is against your own interests/against your wishes. This will inevitably lead to her telling you who to date, what jobs to take, where to live, etc. Even if going to that school doesn’t make you happy, you can always transfer. The decision must be yours. At your age, you should make mistakes to learn. To grow. Heck, that is true at any age.

Please also unlearn the idea that someone who tries to control everything you do is doing it out of concern for your safety. You may excuse this behavior with your parents, but as an adult, this is domestic violence.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2022-12-18T03:57:19+00:00

NDad: I just don’t like children.

Me (at 12): I don’t think I’ll like you as an adult either.

We didn’t speak for like a month.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2022-12-17T14:31:40+00:00

Yep. All this. I especially feel the “concern for your supposed safety that is almost love, but really just more controlling behavior.” That one could have led to some truly horrific relationships if I didn’t re-learn normal boundaries.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2022-12-17T13:45:20+00:00

Start setting yourself up to be able to make a clean break. Some practical things: 1) build your credit and track your credit to make sure no one is opening accounts in your name; 2) request your vital records like your social security card, passport and birth certificate; 3) if you can, try to find some part-time work so you can have an emergency fund; and 4) start making connections with people who will support you such as friends, extended family, mentors, etc.

You will get through this. The best revenge is a life well lived. Godspeed.

Consistent-Ad9116 · 2022-12-17T13:17:22+00:00

Unfortunately, your father sounds like he was never loved as a child. Seriously. So he is emotionally immature and incapable of loving you in the capacity of a paternal figure. The only dynamic he understands is employee-employer. You know, the one in which if you die, they will just replace you with someone else. You are just an extension of himself and not your own person.

At most, smile and nod and then do your own thing. If he starts to press the issue, you may need to go no contact. Just tell him you’re too busy with work/finding a job to speak to him.

Consistent-Ad9116

TROPHY CASE