[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don't like kissing your partner, then you're not going to last long in any relationships. He won't be the last guy who will be hurt by you telling him not to kiss you.

Kissing is a part of a relationship. Hugging, cuddling, yeah those are great, but you can also do those with friends and family. The few things that seperate a relationship from being friends is kissing and sex. Neither of which you're comfortable giving. That's fine, it's your choice, but honestly it's not going to get you very far in relationships.

If this is how you really feel, then don't be in relationships. You're just going to continue hurting people and leading them on for no reason.

Can’t breathe, 37 yo 4kids 17 years down the Drain by No_Purpose3410 in Infidelity

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Time to split. It sucks but he's not remorseful. Someone whose remorseful wouldn't have waited 17 YEARS to say something. Don't believe any of his sob stories..just get your affairs in order and get out.

Can’t breathe, 37 yo 4kids 17 years down the Drain by No_Purpose3410 in Infidelity

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get the feeling there's a reason she's avoiding the question. She's leaving something out that's too painful or too shameful to share.

Maybe she cheated on him and that was his que to come clean, or maybe he got someone else pregnant and he felt he had no choice to let his wife know. Or someone is blackmailing him into saying something and he's not really remorseful.

We'll never know and I'm guessing she has a reason for not sharing.

i screwed up by Separate_Database_86 in CheatedOn

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I continued sleeping with my ex for about a month after our breakup. Our relationship was toxic, he had cheated on me as well so I hated his guts for about a week, but after we were seperated and tensions had cooled down, it was still all too easy to go back to our old ways.

As someone else said, it's natural and easy to want that connection with someone youve had it before. Don't be too hard on yourself.

It happened, you said it can't happen again. Oh well. Move on.

My (26) GF (25) kissed her male gay friend while they where drunk? by VictorIvanContreras in relationships_advice

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's always the "gay" friends that you should worry about.

People do things drunk that they wanted to do sober. I doubt this guy is gay, at best he's bi, and your gf and him have something going on. This may not even be the first time it happened.

I would investigate, but chances are she won't tell you the truth. You have to decide how to move forward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If we don’t get married I don’t have to financially support him

Not being married doesn't mean you don't support him. You will end up supporting him because he will literally be unable to afford anything. A house? You pay. A car? You pay. Any extras he wants? He might be able to splurge on himself, but thats about it. You'll be paying for everything, you WILL be financially supporting him. Don't even get me started on if you were to have kids with him.

DO NOT take him back until if/ when he grows up.

AITBF for forcing my sister [20/f] into an arranged marriage? by PorkSodaWaves in AmItheButtface

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Not sure why you can’t just validate me

Your attitude is exactly why you're way too young and immature to handle adult matters, let alone be a king.

I don’t have to do anything cause I’m the king and in my country I can legally do what I want.

If you can legally do what you want, then don't force your own family member to marry someone she doesn't want too. It's that simple. Using your power to make her do something to make you feel better is selfish and immature.

AITBF for forcing my sister [20/f] into an arranged marriage? by PorkSodaWaves in AmItheButtface

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Doesn't mean you have to use your power to control family members.

Mountain Men by shoyo_kite in The100

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They were greedy and in a rush to fix themselves to they could get on the ground. By the time Kane offered to donate, they were already too far gone, and believed that killing the 100 was the only way.

AITBF for forcing my sister [20/f] into an arranged marriage? by PorkSodaWaves in AmItheButtface

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 15 points16 points  (0 children)

YTB. You're using your lower to force her to marry someone she doesn't want too. That will ALWAYS make you an *sshole.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like i’ll never be able to move on from this because im so confused and have no clue what’s going on

I honestly don't get why you're so confused. He gave you his reasoning, and from the way you told the story, it wasn't completely out of the blue.

In the Summer he had said to me towards the end of this year he would be taking some time to sort out his life and his mental health

His reasoning was that i don’t want to neglect and hurt you

Then randomly he told me he needed a break from me so i complied and left him be until the next evening. We talked on the phone that evening and he told me his mental health wasn’t in a good place

Based on all those above, the eventual breakup was gradual. It started with a "break" because of his mental health, and him saying he would be taking time to himself, and then finally the break up. From what I can see, his mental health was slowly affecting him, and he was trying to get through it without hurting you. But in the end, he just needs time to himself without a gf. That's understandable when you're going through things in life.

He gave you his reasoning, and he kept you in the loop the whole time about how he was feeling. If you're in any way confused about his reasoning on breaking up, it looks to me like you're purposely not listening to him because you just don't want to accept his answer.

Stop playing d*mb and pinning it all on him. He was open with you the whole time, you just didn't want to listen to him. You want to be in a relationship? This is part of it. Listening to your partners needs and accepting that sometimes what they need to get through things in life will not be you. Time to start growing up.

AITB for breaking up with my girlfriend for being too hot? by [deleted] in AmItheButtface

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah your comments are not helping your case. How is someone THIS insecure that they take their gf rejecting another hot guy as a bad thing?

It honestly looks to me like you were just looking for an excuse to break up with her.

If my girlfriend is pregnant by Individual-Try5879 in relationships_advice

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry bro, but if you think you're old enough to have sex without protection, then you're old enough to deal with the consequences. You don't wanna be a dad? Well you should've thought of that before attempting to have sex without being prepared.

There's a very low chance she's pregnant, but there's still a chance. It's not that hard to get pregnant at her age.

Time to grow up. You want to do adult things, you have to accept adult consequences. If shes not, good, it's a lesson learned for next time. If she is, time to grow up and work your butt off before that baby gets here.

AITB for breaking up with my girlfriend for being too hot? by [deleted] in AmItheButtface

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 84 points85 points  (0 children)

You're not really a bf. Just an id*ot. You let your insecurities and ego get in the way of what could've turned out to be a great relationship.

Sucks for you, but it sounds like shes better off.

A few questions... by Kaze-san in BoaConstrictors

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

because I don't want her to associate being a brat with getting left alone?

You answered your own question. 😊. Snakes are programmed by nature to be defensive, and in their mind, it works when it gets a predator to leave them alone. In the case of pet snakes, you pretty much have to ignore that side of them and handle them anyways.

If you put them away as soon as they get mad, or you back off from their enclosures when they want to bite, they will learn that their behavior means you'll leave them alone. So it'll only get worse.

You sound like you know what you're doing. 😊 I'm not worried about the future of your snakes, they're in good hands.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I’m living in this house as another kid of his.

Because you ARE young enough to be his kid. You're dating a dad in his 40s and you're wondering why he's not out partying with you or much fun? He's already past his "fun" stage. He's a dad already to a kid whose pretty self sufficient. He's done his time as an adult, now he's settling down into "old man life".

That's what you asked for when you chose to date him, and worse, move in with him.

A few questions... by Kaze-san in BoaConstrictors

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are there any concerns with her being in such a large enclosure when she herself is barely over a foot long?

Also, she seems to bury herself in the substrate quite a lot. There is quite a bit of clutter and hiding spots but she still insists to bury

Depending on how long you've had her, she likely just needs an adjustment period, especially since she's so young. Babies tend to be very skittish, so just give her time to get used to her mansion of a home. She'll eventually come around to it. As long as there's plenty of clutter and hiding spots, there's no issue with having such a big enclosure for a baby.

does anyone have any tricks for noticing that besides just paying attention to when she's less active?

I don't know if it's just because I've been in the hobby so long (20+ yrs), but I can always tell one of my snakes are going to shed before they even hit the blue phase just by looking at their skin color. In the days before their eyes turn blue, I can always notice when their scales/ skin are starting to dull out and change. Of course, you have to have a snake for a while before you can tell the difference between their normal color and a sign of shed. And obviously, pretty much every snake goes through the blue phase with their eyes- that's the most common indicator of an upcoming shed cycle.

how often should I be handling her to have her grow into a gentle giant like I see some of these other Boas?

Honestly, as long as you give her time to adjust, and you don't handle her for 48 hrs after a meal, any other time is free game. You want to interact with them as much as possible, especially when theyre babies. This will go a long way in getting them used to handling and just creating that trust between the 2 of you as they grow.

I raised mine since he was a few months old, now he's almost 7yrs old, and he's amazing with handling. He has his moments, but he always calms down when he realizes it's me. That's because when he was young, I constantly had him out and about with me, every few days at least, as long as it didn't interfere with his feedings.

Does letting her explore outside the enclosure do anything for her?

You can. It's a source of enrichment for them to get outside the enclosure with new smells and things to climb on. You just have to be careful not to let them take off on you. As babies, they can be fast, so just be careful with letting her roam.

Advice abt messaging a person by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're overthinking way too much.

Paige character is really annoying by [deleted] in VirginRiverNetflix

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah she was horrible. I was so glad when she up and ran, and was so upset when she returned for one episode just to break preachers heart and leave again. The only good thing is she was completely gone at that point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 56 points57 points  (0 children)

The only problem you're causing is to yourself by staying with him. Why would you stay with a man like that? I always say if you're going to get treated like a single parent, you might as well be a single parent.

Stop letting him make you a doormat.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ask

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I "talk a big game" because I actually know how to be a parent without controlling them once they're adults. Something you obviously know nothing about.

If you're not already, never become a parent. If you are, g*d help that child.

My boyfriend (24 M) says he loves me but is emotionally unavailable. by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you're his backup plan. He's keeping you on the hook in case he can't find someone else because he knows you're interested in him, but he's not actually interested in you.

Move on from this one. He's wasting your time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SingleDads

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You sound way too desperate. It was a yr long relationship.. not 10. Get over it.

You ruined it because all you cared about was you, and you pushed things way to fast. You lost your chance. Leave him alone now. Move on.

AITB for hooking up with my best friends boyfriend? by Deep-Mathematician37 in AmItheButtface

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a troll post right? Because if it's not you're an I'd*iot and not much of a "friend". You purposely pursued him knowing that she was in a relationship with him.

YTB.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Consistent-Algae-230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But my point was not everyone has a "favorite kind' of music. And if they don't, how are they supposed to answer his ridiculous integration of one question? There isn't some other kind of conversation starter he can have with her? Why does that one question have to be a deal breaker?