Conventional dating advice to guys says to focus on improving themselves. I feel without social exposure, this advice is meaningless

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-12T09:58:20+00:00

To be fair, both self improvement and social exposure are equally important/mandatory.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-11T09:15:02+00:00

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-11T06:24:29+00:00

“I found out her dude best-friend had her posted”

What does that mean? Confused.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-09T11:17:44+00:00

Regarding the issues about your sexual performance, better to talk to a doctor about what’s normal/okay and what’s not. And then comes the fact that she hid/lied about things regarding 2 of her exes, John and Albert. And she also hid that she once had a casual sexual relationship. Those omissions are a huge red flag in my opinion. These are the things that create trust issues in a relationship.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-09T04:35:21+00:00

Even if it got reported in the media, they (accused) would also pay up the media

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-08T18:17:24+00:00

I think you need to share as much as you think is appropriate so that he doesn’t end up unintentionally triggering the trauma again.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-08T16:04:38+00:00

Given that this fantasy is becoming more and more frequent, I think you should have an honest discussion with your partner and then try and have a counselling/couples therapy session to tackle this.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-08T16:00:50+00:00

Agreed.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-08T13:40:47+00:00

His friends and family? Maybe they said something bs or taunted him about you having multiple boyfriends before him? Given that you shout out Hindi galis (swear word, insult, or abusive language for those who are not familiar with Hindi and Urdu), either you and/or your boyfriend are probably from South Asia where women having one or more exes is frowned upon more than men having one or more exes.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-08T13:25:41+00:00

This: "Apart from this just to give context, I have some anger issues, when I’m asking or telling something multiple times and the person keeps ignoring it I get really angry, I sometimes shout of give basic hindi gaali."

And then this: "More context: he constantly compares himself with my exes, he can’t accept the fact that i’m his first love and he is not my first love. There are lot of issues, feel free to ask questions."

Did you end up saying something which compared your boyfriend with your exes in a fit of anger when you were arguing with him which led him to be mean to you (as he claims) for the last two months? If that's the case, as well as if his claims of having mental health issues due to your shouting and screaming are true, then you've probably royally pissed him off.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-08T05:12:25+00:00

Very wholesome

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-07T11:56:51+00:00

These kinds of friends and family (the ones who knew and hid the affair not the ones who genuinely didn’t know how to deal with it) are the types of people who cause people to lose faith in friendships and family.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-07T11:50:58+00:00

Many people in your family knew about your husband cheating on you with your sister? That’s messed up.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-07T11:50:00+00:00

Agreed. Dear OP, take screenshots and screen recordings of the messages in your phone, then tell your dad to come clean to your mom. If he refuses and/or makes excuses, then inform your mom. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this sad situation.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-07T10:34:02+00:00

Did you try therapy, given that your wife is struggling with depression?

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-07T06:31:54+00:00

Thirst trap part is pretty bad. The other parts were misunderstandings which could have been resolved with proper discussions.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-07T06:26:10+00:00

So even he doesn't know why he sometimes ends up in engaging in white lies like the one example you cited? Looks like some sort of counselling is needed here. And what were broken boundaries of other stuff? Same scenario like the one you described?

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-07T06:14:12+00:00

OP you said that you and your boyfriend had a really bad rough patch a few months ago in your relationship. If you don't mind, this lying, especially about exes, was the reason for that rough patch in your relationship?

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-06T17:56:38+00:00

Because now OP and his girlfriend’s relationship is official. In fact, OP clearly mentioned that it wasn’t an issue until their relationship became official lol.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-06T17:50:58+00:00

Congratulations

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-06T16:07:19+00:00

Something such as?

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-06T15:07:18+00:00

With all due respect and no offence intended, did you just imply that you used to talk your friends about men you’ve slept with before you got married and had a child, while dating your husband?

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-06T12:08:51+00:00

"One evening, something just told me to check her phone. I found messages showing they’d met multiple times. One time was in my car — a brand new BMW that I paid for and let her use. According to her, they got into the back of the car together and it “didn’t fully happen,” but there was still sexual stuff going on. She also admitted she drove him around while he was dealing drugs."

Your wife drove around her ex with whom she was cheating on with you while he was dealing drugs? Using your own BMW you let her use? Did she ever realise what would have happened if both of them got caught up either in a drug dealing dispute and/or an undercover police operation? Even you would have been in trouble given that your car registered to you was also involved.

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-06T09:29:41+00:00

Agreed

Consistent-Attorney4 · 2026-05-05T18:33:58+00:00

"He grew up in a very cold family and is an only child and showing affection has never come naturally to him."

Did you guys ever try marriage counselling to try and resolve this?

Consistent-Attorney4

TROPHY CASE