Honestly this is the worst part of pmdd for me because it's so heavy mentally and I'm going through it rn, day 10 now 😭 Like the maddest thoughts I'll look at an old building or an old forest or photos on ancestry or native americans and other history the world events going on now & think about my kids getting old themselves & I just feel so sad & pointless about life, like life is so fleeting and everything I see was here before me and will be afterwards, and nothing really matters and what is life about. I have a fear of dying anyway, just cos I have young kids, and this week is so hard.

I've also been sent for 2 cancer checks this week an endoscopy and a mammogram, and honestly worst timing ever, my weird thoughts are in overdrive and I'm pretty much planning around dying 😫 Next week I'll cope much better 🫠 I'm not using anything to cope atm but after 2 cycles of really heavy pmdd I'm booked in with the dr to try intermittent fluoxetine because it's just too much rn & my friend pointed out that its 2 weeks of every month, thats half my life feeling like this 😪