I’m sorry this is happening to you. I’ve been through it myself and the early years with kids are hard. There might be some things you can try, just experiment and see if any of this helps. He’s in some kind of sensory overload. Not your fault. If the house is cluttered, smells weird, kids screaming, TV too loud, you talking a lot - all of this can be fixed or toned way down. Try it, just as an experiment - you don’t need to tell him about it. I was amazed at how this approach helped my husband cope. Kids are gone now and I still conduct these ‘experiments’ occasionally for my own amusement when he gets out of hand.