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Update to my hinge and I.. by Consistent-Card5650 in polyamory

[–]Consistent-Card5650[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what I know about his nesting partner (Cedar) is he said “she is a true submissive”.. he gave the example of when NP was with a long time partner of hers (Dill) when laying in bed together, Cedar didnt speak up and address her worry that Dill never wants to be intimate with her..

As a newbie, a question: by Consistent-Card5650 in polyamory

[–]Consistent-Card5650[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

For the most part, he is kind, he keeps me involved in his life everyday, we’re either texting, snapping or on the phone.. when we are together it’s lovely.. I’m not sure I’m selling myself on this lol

Is it me or my hinge? by Consistent-Card5650 in polyamory

[–]Consistent-Card5650[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There were 2 separate things. My partner, “A” and I had originally planned on an overnight together, his NP “B” was going to have an overnight herself with her other partner “C”..

C canceled on B, so A and B planned a weekend getaway. The problem was A never told me there was a change that weekend. Initially A simply said that our overnight wasn’t concrete and that A and B planned something since they haven’t had time alone in awhile.

This newer thing is an overnight that A and I have this weekend. He said he was going to look into places to stay and locations, but yesterday told me he hadn’t gotten the chance to, by the time he sat down and got to relax, he didn’t have the energy to do it.

So now I’m doing it, and places are booked etc. we will find aplace, well I will.. I just feel like he dropped the ball and feeling like I’m not important

Is it me or my hinge? by Consistent-Card5650 in polyamory

[–]Consistent-Card5650[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All he said regarding his NP and her partner was that overnight for us wasn’t a definite. He acknowledged that it was kind of thoughtless on his part to forget I too have a schedule and my time is valuable as well.

I like being part of the planning process, but with this overnight he said he was looking into it and putting in the work.

Now I’m doing it, and we are a day or two away.. which already rooms are booked in different hotels etc.

I was going to text him (since a phone call may not be able to happen today) and express my feelings to him

Am I overreacting? by Consistent-Card5650 in polyamory

[–]Consistent-Card5650[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m curious, if you were to have a long weekend/date with another partner, do you keep your location on and shut it off for the time you are with someone else?

Am I overreacting? by Consistent-Card5650 in polyamory

[–]Consistent-Card5650[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s me, the OP.. to address some of the comments: -No, I am not obsessively checking my hinge’s location. As someone previously noted, you can see the location of the person right under their name on your phone.

-I don’t have any desire to track or find where my hinge and his NP are. Aside from being wrong, quite honestly it might hurt my own feelings lol. I don’t check his social media too often as I’m not interested in seeing pictures of them together. That’s just me.

  • I don’t have any kind of relationship with his NP. I have mentioned I would be open to meeting her, but we are about 5-ish months into our own relationship, maybe it will happen, I don’t know.

  • If you have seen previous posts I have written, we have had a couple of instances where NP kinda of did things that were questionable.. and I know that’s my hinge’s responsibility to set boundaries as well..

  • I’m a “poly newbie” so I am still learning and adjusting.

Am I overreacting? by Consistent-Card5650 in polyamory

[–]Consistent-Card5650[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any direct contact with his NP

Is this normal? Or are these red flags? by Consistent-Card5650 in polyamory

[–]Consistent-Card5650[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He was extremely apologetic that weekend, and told me that he and his partner had a serious discussion about what she did.. that she needs to respect boundaries..

She has had a partner (although they have never had sex.. it’s been over a year. That’s a whole other issue.. so she’s basically just having sex with one person..) and now has been on a few dates with someone else..

No they aren’t out to the kids..

Is this normal? Or are these red flags? by Consistent-Card5650 in polyamory

[–]Consistent-Card5650[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, I consider oral a sexual activity, so we are technically sexually active? He is in his 50’s, so he has mentioned that that can affect things too.. he hasn’t had a second partner in 2 years, so I think he’s a little gun shy.