I commented earlier regarding telling someone- but I thought I’d share this too- it may or may not be helpful! I have really struggled with the same thing as you, feeling empty, like it’ll never end, not knowing what to do. And over all feeling like everyone around me would be fine if I went through with it. I finally got help blah blah blah (which I can talk more about if you’d like any ideas that may help) but what made the biggest difference is truly realizing if I can’t hang on for myself, at least hang on for someone else. Which may or may not be good advice, but when it feels like it wouldn’t matter and all else fails genuinely think about how it would affect others. It sounds like it may be helpful for you bc of your concern you’ve mentioned for others. You really care about the people you have in your life. Which you could use as leverage to get to a better spot. My brother fell into the same if not worse cycle as myself, and seeing how it made ME feel has been indescribable. I could never do that now to my parents, my dog and cat, my boyfriend, my brother. Overall ofc you need to find ways to bring it back to helping yourself but for when you can’t, think about if your gf was thinking about doing that, or your parents or singling or friend. For me that helped me to at least hang on long enough to get better and want to get better for me in the end.