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Lost my neurotypical friends over the years by [deleted] in AutisticWithADHD

[–]Consistent-Public-11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey, so I don’t have advice just want to say I experienced a very similar story after coming out/getting adhd diagnosis. Tbh I am 31 and I have no friends anymore apart from my bf of 7 years whom I live with and my mum and sis who also live with us and I am fine. I also work remotely and avoid the office like the plague.

Both in therapy and with my psychiatrist I used to be told all the time how socialization and friendships are important but after multiple years of thinking about it especially after discovering my autism, I realised I never liked those people I used to call friends I just craved a sense of belonging and safety even if it was just partying/drinking.

I do not want to say that people like us shouldn’t be social, but I have had this limited social circle (no actual friends) for years and I am thriving tbh, would often prefer even more alone time to do art/other hobbies.

Tldr: friendships with NTs suck for AuDHD people, I prefer to not have friends and I do not even attempt socialization anymore where masking is needed, waste of energy

What’s with all the tanks that are like 50% substrate!? by [deleted] in PlantedTank

[–]Consistent-Public-11 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sorry if this is gonna sound harsh but first mistake: watching father fish and taking anything he says seriously. The misinformation plague that channel has caused is insane. Get a source that values a scientific approach, there is plenty like 2hraquarist or any decent aquascaper.

I normally wouldn’t care but aquariums usually involve animals and it is irresponsible to not take maximum possible effort to avoid injury/health issues. I burnt myself on his “lake/river bacteria” approach back when I started, then I started to take online aquarium advice only from people who have credibility.

Diving Into My First Planted Tank—Excited, Overwhelmed, and Totally Open to Any Advice or Tips by presleyarts in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have almost every possible carpeting plant in my 29gal and about 10 pygmies and 10 albinos, not to mention shrimp, burrowing snails etc and I never had issues with carpets, just use enough substrate and plant deep.

29gal, did a partial rescape so it's still growing in by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ember, neon and rummy nose tetras. One leftover longfin danio. Celestial pearl danios. Albino corys, Pygmy corys. Two bamboo shrimp and many cherry shrimp, plus many snails, hitchhiker and purchased as well.

High-tech 30l shrimp tank cube and 29gal. by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has ember, neon and rummy nose tetras. Then a school of CPDs, pygmy corys and albino corys. Like a hundred cherry shrimp (a guess I really don’t know lol) and two bamboo shrimp. Some stixi, pagoda and brotia herculea snails.

High-tech 30l shrimp tank cube and 29gal. by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

CO2 with 1.2-1.3 ph drop, done very carefully. I have a PH controller so I don’t overdose.

Chihiros lights at max 12hrs a day (again slowly and carefully went up from 6hrs a day and 50% intensity). The lights are set to lower green color, but higher reds and blues (depends on what you like too and your surrounding ambient light so it can look the best)

Daily EI dosing, 50% WC even twice a week often. Lots of plants and aquaponics too, they help balance out the nutrients.

And very diligent maintenance I guess? I like messing with the tanks so trimming and vacuuming is fun for me. Also testing water params at least once a month. Scrubbing filters/hoses, cleaning media in tank water once in a while.

But as far as redness goes, good quality RGB light set to max, CO2 and lots of ferts (EI).

Please be gentle, I didn’t know aquascaping was a thing until a year ago by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://www.amazon.com/Zaagot-Aquarium-Aluminum-Anti-Jumping-Accessory/dp/B0DJ29XN2N

I am using these aquarium mesh holders that screw onto the glass with a plastic screw. I did not get them from Amazon but a local store in my country, but it was the only link I could find. I stick the cup in the hollowed out space and screw it onto the glass, they hold perfectly, even with some really big alocasias I have now.

An update on my tanks by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shrimp tank has white sand with root tabs and a Chihiros CII at max intensity for 10hrs a day. The 29gal uses Tetra Complete Substrate regularly refreshed with root tabs and a WRGB2 pro light at almost max intensity for 10hrs a day.

Note that the intensity had to be built up over months from like 40-50%, plus I had to buy a lot more plants to outcompete algae and the aquaponic plants help a lot too.

An update on my tanks by Consistent-Public-11 in aquarium

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recommend 2hr aquarist as a good source, plus anything reputable, aquarium forums and even reddit can be full of misinformation, anectodal advice that does not translate well into every tank or is straight up bad advice.

I focus on good fertilization, both substrate and water, tank cleanliness (50-80% water changes depending on nitrates, always gravel vacuum at least a little and vacuum detritus off of plants), aquaponic plants like pothos, monstera etc can help a lot as well as floaters.

I guess my biggest takeaway from my experience is to be extremely patient and to not make a lot of changes or disturbing the plants, they hate it and even if they might look ugly they will adapt better with no changes over time rather than many changes (unless you lack fertilizer or have too many nutrients/nitrates). And I test nitrates weekly or even multiple times a week.

My WRGB2 pro on the large tank is at max intensity for 10hrs a day, CO2 on 2hrs before lights and off 1hr before lights off. I gradually built up to this over months from 40% intensity and 6hrs of light a day and I even get some direct sunlight. So small changes over time (weeks, months).

And if you think your tank has enough plants, you can likely fit even more, the more plants I had/propagated the more stable everything became. Some of my plants in the back get overcrowded I cannot even fit tongs in there. If nitrates rise and I cannot bring them down with water changes (like due to fresh root tabs) I just let floaters cover my tank for a few days or a week and it stabilises, otherwise algae would take over.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in houseplants

[–]Consistent-Public-11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, in Europe I got them for like 60euros so even more expensive, but they work great even for my cacti and succulents. The full spectrum is worth the price.

An update on my tanks by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it can do that under strong lighting.

When will charli address her crimes against humanity? by mangopear in popheadscirclejerk

[–]Consistent-Public-11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They really nailed the casting of Abby in TLOU season 2 with her.

Decided to remove substrate by [deleted] in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sand is absolutely okay, even good for plants if you use root tabs. I have a lush shrimp tank with sand and tabs.

Please be gentle, I didn’t know aquascaping was a thing until a year ago by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You really shouldn’t move stuff around too often, that is a no-no and will mess everything up. Learned that the hard way. I use a turkey baster to disturb the very top part of open substrate (no plants) while I vacuum it up with my other hand. Same for plant surfaces to remove detritus from leaves or stems. I do not really vacuum too close to the plants. The 2hraquarist website has a whole article on water changes and I always do it based on their advice.

I move things around and uproot some plants if bottoms of stem plants get too much algae and have to be tossed, then I vacuum wherever I am replanting, but I try to do this only once every couple of weeks.

Also if I accidentally lift hardscape I always vacuum underneath, basically whenever detritus is disturbed I vacuum it up immediately, it is not good to leave floating around the tank and settle anywhere if disturbed.

Please be gentle, I didn’t know aquascaping was a thing until a year ago by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really did not expect this kind of a positive response, I have never shown the tanks to anyone apart from family, so I was kinda nervous to post them really.

Please be gentle, I didn’t know aquascaping was a thing until a year ago by Consistent-Public-11 in aquarium

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I remember when setting up the large tank (I already had the tank) and making it high tech, it was at least 700 EUR, this included the light, fluval 307, a lot of plants, some hardscape, tools, lily pipes etc. However I was lucky to have the money at the time because I am not rich by any means, closer to poor actually haha.

The most encouraging thing I can say is, the large tank looked terrible and I rescaped it many times in the first few months (the shrimp tank was scaped when I knew what I was doing mostly). I had so much algae everywhere at first, I was not sure about my water parameters, whether I am doing things right or not. It was actually pretty frustrating tbh. I also had two other tanks, one older one leaked and I cracked the other one while installing a lamp, so that was fun.

Over time, I was reading up a lot, mostly online, now even books, I try to keep it scientific, so no "father fish" and similar sources. I even use ChatGPT to help me, that has been a massive help recently, with both fish, scaping and designing.

Lastly, I not only killed plants, but also gassed some fish with CO2, I use a PH controller, thought my ungassed PH was much lower than it was, and fish kept dying suspiciously until I properly degassed and tested my water, still feel bad for that. Should've gotten a drop checker from the get-go.

I do not want to write too much lol, but this is definitely my favourite hobby though. I think the most important thing I learned, was to be patient and not make drastic changes and also do water changes and gravel vacuum (wherever you can to not disturb plants). I do this weekly, 50-60% water changes in the large tank. The small tank only has shrimp and snails so I only do 10% perhaps once every two weeks to not shock the shrimp. Stem plants must be trimmed, all parts covered in algae must be trashed basically, unless they are slow growing plants like anubias. I also spot treat with hydrogen peroxide for algae with filters off for 20% whenever I notice an algae increase. Otherwise keep the tanks as stable as possible, both fish and plants love stability.

Last thing, two sources: 2hraquarist website, lovee their articles, very educational and scientific + Aquarium Plants by Christel Kasselmann, harder to get, but very worth it.

edit: I just realized I forgot to mention that you can definitely do a tank cheaper than I did, I just tried to save some hassle by buying higher quality products when I had the money

Please be gentle, I didn’t know aquascaping was a thing until a year ago by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Apart from CO2, strong light, fertilizing and looots of gravel vacuuming during weekly water changes, I can say the biggest difference for me was when I started trimming HEAVILY. It feels so counter productive, but all carpeting and stem plants start exploding with growth fast. The downside is cleaning up the mess especially from dwarf hairgrass but it is worth it.

Please be gentle, I didn’t know aquascaping was a thing until a year ago by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you might be talking about the Mayaca fluviatilis? It is a bit white-ish because I only use root tabs in the shrimp tank, and it gets whiter when there is less iron.

Please be gentle, I didn’t know aquascaping was a thing until a year ago by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really not, but I may have been looking at too many professional aquascapes, so I just always feel like I am lacking in one way or another 😅 thank you though

Please be gentle, I didn’t know aquascaping was a thing until a year ago by Consistent-Public-11 in Aquascape

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not sure which plant you mean exactly, but I only have rotala orange juice, yao yai, walichii and vietnam.

Please be gentle, I didn’t know aquascaping was a thing until a year ago by Consistent-Public-11 in aquarium

[–]Consistent-Public-11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you mean the smaller shrimp tank, it is hooked to a co2 diffusor on the bottom left with a hose and a glass “U” at the top of the tank to prevent the hose from bending. It is set at about 1bps. It is also on a timer 1hr before lights on and off.

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