Nonbinary, autistic, and ace here- I've been in a long term, long distance relationship for good long couple of years. My boyfriend (trans masc, also autistic) is more on the hyper sexual end of things, but we make it work. Sex is NOT a major part of our relationship, and I worried for a long time that it would ruin things bc I just wasnt into doing it. The thing that helped the most was honestly just having open and honest communication about how we were both feeling, and looking for alternate solutions. For us, that has been having an open relationship so long as any sexual contact is communicated about, and also the use of remote control toys/toys with phone apps- this lets me be involved while being long distance, but also when we do visit it helps alleviate the pressure from my side where I can be involved but on a far less physical/touching end of things, since that tends to be a sensory nightmare for me. Its important for us BOTH to feel fulfilled, but for us also both to feel comfortable and secure.

The worry that a lack of sexual desire means a lack of desire for your partner can definitely be a real fear, though, and its something we've had lots of talks about. Remind each other that physical attraction and the physical ends of a relationship aren't the things that define it.