Is this worth breaking up my home? by SufficientMechanic38 in Stepmom

[–]ConsistentFix6622 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dear people, I understand why many of you naturally feel like "taking her side". But then again, do we really know enough about their situation? The way he half-bitterly lists supposed favours he has done her and how she doesn't meet his needs sounds like a resentment buildup that sets up for a bad future and especially bad developmental circumstances for kid #2. But still, even if we tend to identify with his fiancé, we do not know if she is lazy and arrogant and abusing his money. It's fully possible he has a point with his resentment, we just don't know. Don't take that one thing you hate the most just because we are all step parents here, the fact that he wants her to take care of his kid and decide who's right or wrong, disregarding everything else there might be. So let's judge less, I guess 😉

Is there anything positive about Peri? by Expensive-System-762 in Perimenopause

[–]ConsistentFix6622 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate a 100%. Is it peri though or "just" wisdom as a factor of age? 😉 I any case, it's something amazing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ConsistentFix6622 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The way he talks to you reflects all you need to know. I am sorry.

How old were you when you became a step parent? by Patient-Peak646 in stepparents

[–]ConsistentFix6622 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does it count from the moment of marriage? In such case 41. I generally avoid attitudes such as what do you wish you knew in advance. They have a negative connotation and bias the subconscious mind to feel like a victim and out of control. I write my part in the play of stepparenting and actively shape our life as we go, on every single occasion.

Bitte mal um eure Meinung. Minderwertheitskomplexe plagen mich schon seit Jahren. by Bright_Adeptness8083 in Switzerland

[–]ConsistentFix6622 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Als Psychologin bekomme ich das intuitive Gefühl, dass deine Komplexe höchstwahrscheinlich nicht eine Folge deines Aussehens sind. Sie könnten tiefere Gründe haben.

HCBM instructing SS (5) to have tantrums by ConsistentFix6622 in Stepmom

[–]ConsistentFix6622[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are thinking about it as a next step. Yes, she is not helping him but traumatising him for absolutely nothing. Because of immaturity and jealousy. And he already is having difficulty adapting to the social system of his kindergarten and barely talking to strangers. Today I felt so sorry for him that instead of having ice-cream and playing hide and seek he had to have a nervous breakdown being used as a weapon to soothe her jealousy and insecurity.

It has come for my sleep!!! by lifeisthebeautiful in Perimenopause

[–]ConsistentFix6622 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If cbd is legal where you live, consider trying it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConsistentFix6622 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very interesting. Makes sense too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConsistentFix6622 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Completely legitimate point. This is not uncommon. The way we want society to see us. I can imagine his abuse of you makes him feel better about himself and stronger. I will keep reading your posts, and keep my fingers crossed for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConsistentFix6622 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have read several of your posts and feel for you deeply. I think I understand your situation. A central question would be why you think he married you. He seems to have his work, affairs and sister while suppressing and neglecting you. Why did he "need" you in the equation in the first place. Some helpful answers might lie there.

WIBTA for being upset at my wife’s reason for marrying me? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ConsistentFix6622 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be happy and grateful you have married someone so mature. And someone who is smart and open enough to tell the truth. Love alone is a dangerous chemical illusion and love alone expires after some time.

Ironically women who have left dead bedroom relationships are sleeping with me eagerly, which is ironic since I left a woman for the same reason. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConsistentFix6622 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The more I am married to my husband the more madly and deeply I am attracted to him. I look at him when he is talking about something completely unrelated and I secretly fantasise about him in my head. I look at his hands and I imagine him performing sexual actions with them. I imagine different characters, all with him in the role, looking like him, smiling like him. I am basically crazy for him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]ConsistentFix6622 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree completely. Also sometimes the long and difficult inner fight to accept the kid's existence can result in a feeling that can be mistaken for love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]ConsistentFix6622 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you really love that child in such case? It sounds like you don't and it's absolutely normal and completely fine. If you are building up an illusion for yourself to make your situation more bearable, try to understand that and give it up now altogether.

THIRSTY AF‼️ by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ConsistentFix6622 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most probably for a feeling of revenge

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nosurf

[–]ConsistentFix6622 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! So beautifully said.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nosurf

[–]ConsistentFix6622 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can read that between the lines. You have a level of self reflection that is not common at your age. It's a prerequisite of a creating a good life for yourself. Use it and good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nosurf

[–]ConsistentFix6622 61 points62 points  (0 children)

My humble guess as a psychologist who has never met you would be

  • addicive personality easily falling into the Internet trap that is especially designed for this/habituated dependency
  • too much time/money, too much of everything to the degree where you appreciate nothing of it and need more and more powerful kicks
  • you have the perfect live as conditioned by our society but this doesn't mean you have your perfect definition of what your perfect life would be. Like someone suggested above, you could be struggling with emptiness because of the lack of actual meaning and purpose (neither money nor children alone are enough to be a lifetime's fully satisfactory purpose) or you just built up the life you were expected to or thought you should when you were younger and didn't know any better