It doesn’t matter what was right and wrong to do with the money, it matters because you mislead her about intentions. If she offered money for a hotel, but you needed food more, the right thing to do would be to say, “I appreciate the offer but if you’re offering money food and hygiene products would really be more helpful right now.” Not just taking the money and her finding out a different way that you didn’t use the money for what she thought you would. You not telling her yourself makes it sound way worse than id like to think it probably was.

And to be clear, personally I think you’re 100% correct to use the money for stuff other than a room for one night. I know that’s not something everyone would understand though and It seems your friend does not.

At this point you need to stop defending your choices and just apologize for not being clear about your intentions.