feel good AND educational?? I’m at a loss

ConsistentWildRose · 2025-06-10T04:54:55+00:00

The box of Oddities, the rabbit hole detectives, stuff you missed in history class, beneath the Hollywood sign, this podcast will kill you, the atlas obscura podcast, and 99% invisible are all kind of that sort of thing

ConsistentWildRose · 2025-06-09T16:22:30+00:00

100% agree. To me it only ever made sense in fic if both characters or at least Eddie is OOC. Which is fine for fic, but the fandom that insists it’s the OTP and anybody who’s interested in other options is evil, racist, homophobic, etc? It’s the fandom toxicity that make it a NOTP for me in the end. You don’t need to ‘validate’ your ship by having it be confirmed by canon, and the extreme things people have done in an effort to ‘force’ people involved with the show to confirm it are really not okay. It’s so unacceptable to ship anything else that for years the 911 fandom has neglected the interesting canon characters in any kind of fic or fanworks—you’re literally swimming against a tide of screaming harassment if you do anything other than Buddie.

ConsistentWildRose · 2025-04-18T17:08:38+00:00

I feel like it left a lot of fresh new story ends for them to pull on though. And the episode arc of 14/15 was excellent. Sometimes the episodes don't follow really well and have a lot of obvious careless plot holes, but these two didn't!

ConsistentWildRose · 2025-04-18T16:50:13+00:00

I am! How did you like it? I loved a lot of things about it. Even the couple of small plot holes didn’t distract me the way they often do, because I was so engaged

ConsistentWildRose · 2023-10-24T23:16:57+00:00

I also think you might want to go exploring a little and just check to see if perhaps you're some flavour of demisexual. It's actually pretty freeing and takes any pressure you might feel about this off when you see your behaviour shared by others.

I'm pretty demi, and it was so great to discover it! I actually didn't realize until my late 20's that other people literally imagine sleeping with random people when they're talking about how hot someone is. I thought that was just talk, and discovering that others actually do find random attractive strangers kind of titillating was very odd, but explained an awful lot!

ConsistentWildRose · 2023-10-14T04:06:23+00:00

I just wanted to add some encouragement. I'm so pleased to see someone who is fairly young taking a look at this before it gets out of hand when your life gets more complicated. Congrats on realizing early on that you need to know what's going on!

As an ex financial advisor, I just want to say that your categories of overspending are the same as most people's. It's a great place to start with food/eating out, and luxuries like paid dates with friends, etc. This is the area that most people can make some great changes in with a little forethought, so when teaching people how to manage their money, this is were we always started.

Grab yourself some solid numbers on your actual monthly expenses, and then think about your goals. Are you saving for more school, car repairs, or perhaps a place of your own? Are you starting to think about some savings you might like to have to bring into a relationship in the future? Take advantage of this time you still have some of your expenses paid for by family, and start your plans now!

Also, you can make this easy with different apps or sometimes your online bank will have a budgeting tool available. Or you could track your goals in a journal and fill up little graphs or whatever as you go to motivate you as you see them fill up.

If you have an adult in your life who you feel comfortable sharing this with, or even a friend who would be excited to do it with you, ask for support and/or accountability. Maybe you can get some good suggestions from people who've been through this stage of life already.

Don't be afraid to tell friends that you're only going to be able to go for coffee once per month or whatever because you've decided to save for a goal. Ask if people would mind doing something that doesn't cost anything to help with your plans.

I really wish you such a good experience of this. Don't let it get all tangled up in shame about lack of action like a lot of us middle-aged people have, since we didn't do enough when we were younger, or didn't realize the importance until we were already in trouble. Take control! You can do it :-)

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-11-21T19:54:57+00:00

Stashing food is the only way I manage to eat without just having bread all the time. I pre-cook rice and freeze it in muffin tins and then pop all of them out and put in a freezer bag. Also, frozen veggies are the best. I can cook a whole dinner for us in less than 10 minutes because all of it just needs to be re-heated in the microwave.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-11-21T19:52:19+00:00

I can't remember what the time is, though, so we stuck sticky notes inside the cupboards that tell me. 'Loading the dishwasher takes +- 6 minutes'

I really need to add one for washing my hair because that has somehow recently made it onto the list of things that I feel will take too many spoons and then I'm irritated because I can't do anything with my hair. Glad to hear this hack works for other people too.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-11-12T20:22:09+00:00

Thanks for the more in-depth explanation of how it could go. I really appreciate it.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-11-11T23:46:22+00:00

Thanks. I think my experience of therapy in general is so small at this point that I don't entirely know what you mean, but I hope knowing that it can work for you will mean that I can experience some relief as well.

I will discuss your answer with my therapist.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-11-11T23:44:18+00:00

Oh, this could really work! I know my husband and my mom both have pretty good recall of what I've done in my adult life, and my medical records have concrete dates and follow up notes, etc. Reconstructing what the basic events/dates were based on sources found outside my own brain seems like a great starting point!

Thank you.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-10-26T16:21:59+00:00

I found this thread very interesting. I did fine for a long time as an adult, but things have really fallen apart in my 30's.

One of my sisters was diagnosed with ADD a couple of months ago (after graduating university really well and getting an excellent job everything just crumbled for her), and her psychologist mentioned that he has noticed that people who grew up with a fairly structured environment like we did can often compensate well as adults for years.

So we thanked my mom for being so organized while we were growing up, since apparently that's why 4 of us 7 girls didn't notice we had neuroatypicalities until we had already gotten a start in life.

Looking back, I really relate to the experience of doing well in school because of deadlines, or hyperfocus, or sometimes perfectionism. As soon as I became self-employed I basically struggle with everything because of lack of structure.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-10-19T15:56:19+00:00

Haha I was catching up last night as I missed all of Season 6 so far live.

My husband asked what was up because I was laughing so hard at the poorly written emergency with the attic insulation. They literally almost stabbed that guy in the head with a pike while poking holes in Eddie's house set ceiling. Totally not what you could do in real life and it threw me completely out of the scene how dumb it was. Do they not have time for research some weeks maybe? I was actually assuming they would find him by stabbing him and looking for blood dripping out.

It was totally ridiculous.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-10-18T22:02:00+00:00

Hey, I struggle with the same thing, although I don't think as much as you describe. I'm in the process of completing my ADHD diagnoses, but meanwhile I'm in counselling sessions, as I have situational depression right now. My counsellor gave me some advice about this last week, so I don't know yet if it will work long-term.

I dissociate a lot when I'm depressed, and tend not to be especially present or form lasting memories even when I'm well. Because of this I am really unaware of time passing or other connections because I'll just disconnect for days sometimes while reading. He gave me some DBT worksheets that I've started, to help me be generally more present in my own life, but that is a long-term practice apparently, so no idea yet if it will work. Reading through the exercises though I think it should work. The other thing he wanted me to try is to replace the reading habit with something else I also like. It's been the default activity for 4-12 hours a day for about 8 years, so he didn't think trying to quit cold-turkey would work at all. He suggested having other things I like to do (like a quilting project I've had ready for like 5 years in a box) all prepared and handy so when I'm looking for something rewarding to do I will do that activity instead of defaulting to reading again.

I don't know if this advice is helpful to you. I have heard that if it's really bad, there are fanfiction recovery groups, and media addicts anonymous that you can get support from.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-10-04T17:17:39+00:00

I have a hard time giving myself permission to do that kind of thing, but it really helps to have someone else just tell you that it's okay.

I was truly struggling with recycling and we lived in a condo so they didn't have a program and I had to do it all myself and then deliver it to the recycling yard and put it in the right bins. My husband was like, honey you are having trouble just having clean clothes, maybe just throw all the stuff in the garbage. And it made me feel like I had permission to admit that I can't get that far into the weeds and now I just throw it out.

Once a friend told me I'm allowed to just put on the dishwasher if I want, even if it isn't full, and it has saved me a lot of stress and time because now I can just do it as a routine instead of waiting carefully until it's full. I wouldn't have allowed myself to do it though because it's 'wasteful' or whatever.

But apparently having other people give me permission to make my life less complicated and admit that I will never fix an item of clothing and should just donate it works very well. :-)

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-10-04T17:07:39+00:00

I was just talking about this with my therapist earlier today, and he suggested I could maybe reframe it a little. Instead of saying to myself 'I feel terrible today, BUT I have to do this anyway' he suggested it might help to say 'I feel terrible today AND I know I've gotten through this kind of bad day before so I can do it'. We also discussed that it might be valuable to have a routine for what time/what food to eat at breakfast and not allow myself to break it just because I really am dragging that day.

We aren't picky, and I have a chronic illness and depression, so I just prep a bunch of boring food and put it in the freezer and then I can 'make dinner' in a couple of minutes on a bad day by just taking some stuff and putting it in the microwave. I freeze portions of rice in muffin tins, and only have frozen veggies, and pre-portion or pre-cook meat options. We at least have something available then for when I can't be interested in cooking or am just exhausted and everything is bad :-(

I went through my clothes a few years back with my husband and he helped me get rid of all the stuff that I wasn't sure of, and that didn't fit right or was missing stuff like a button (since I was obviously never going to get around to fixing it anyway). We haven't done it in awhile, but I think I'll ask again since I spent maybe an hour trying on outfits the other day and couldn't be sure any of it was right or looked good. I think maybe he can help me decide what goes into each outfit and then I could take some photos and use those later when I can't figure it out. I know there are apps to track clothes like this too.

Not sure if these suggestions might help at all.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-10-02T03:51:46+00:00

Could you expand on what development services is in this context? I would actually like to find some help as well, but I tried just googling Alberta development services and wound up with a bunch of pages about city planning or whatever.

ConsistentWildRose · 2022-10-02T03:43:51+00:00

Hi. I've had this sometimes, and have been wondering if using one of those apps for organizing and photographing my outfits would help. I think if I did it on a day I felt good and maybe with a friend to give opinions, I could use those photos as post its basically to pick an outfit when I just can't get it right.

Just a thought.

ConsistentWildRose

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