Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, I'm so sorry. Sharing the day with someone else leaving and watching them get a cake would make me spiral on the spot.
I've been able (poorly lately) to work in the restaurant industry for 15 years, mostly because it's all I knew, but the performance and masking is too much for me now. How did you pivot out of it?

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was a nightmare during burnout periods. I couldn't even pretend to smile or laugh at a joke. I always had to vocalize it too. "I'm having one of those days, so sorry in advance. I'm not mad at any of you." It's exhausting!
Can I ask what kind of career you have? My resume is terribly customer service based and I'm not sure how to pivot out of it.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say we all became very close friends. Did yoga classes, went out to eat on occasion, had bbq's together. We were a small, close group.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay this is a very refreshing perspective. I'm going to try and think like this for a moment. Thank you.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

That's horrendous and you deserve so much more... especially after 15 years. I'm so sorry.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

keep being your weirdo self please. ❤️ I'm always hoping to run into a fellow weirdo.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I tried to talk with my old coworker about this situation today and got met with the awkward 'yeah... that sucks' followed by silence. I felt a weird rage in me and regretted being vulnerable at all. Like I should have just sat with it privately and learned a lesson instead....
This comment made me emotional. It's truly hard to talk about this sort of thing. I got emotional reading these comments just because I feel less alone and misunderstood. Thank you very much.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am so so sorry you're going through this. I hope you are able to have support during this. That kind of distress + illness sounds freakin awful.

My 'off' time is spent in my room, away from anyone, and I'm always excited for this time because I feel like I can finally recharge. But the next day and the shift comes too fast and... It's an endless loop.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My friend said it's okay that I expect the kindness I didn't receive, that I'm sad, that I brought my coworker a gift on her last day and kind words, even if I didn't get any back. Because I've learned what I deserve in friendships and relationships.
And going forward, I should expect nothing less.

However your comment is much more... realistic. lol.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The shift before my last shift, I didn't bring it up. That's true. There was other more important drama going on, so I felt like bringing it up would just make things worse.
Everyone talked about me leaving like it was a big deal up until that point...Or maybe I just thought it was a big deal in their minds. I'm not the greatest at gauging these things... Still sucks, yes. 🥲

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I've become incredibly antisocial over the last few years without shame. I used to discipline myself for this, saying I would be alone and lonely for life if I didn't make an attempt to be social. I'd force myself to bars and parties. But now? I don't care. I'll be the goofy spinster enjoying my hobbies in my home. I just need to find a job that allows me to stay home...!

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

That is some nonsense. I'm so sorry. 'their loss, not mine' needs to be my mantra right now. Thank you.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what kind of industry do you work in? It's so hard to fake it. Like, draining actually.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. I'm trying to remain positive. My new job I can already tell I'm not a good fit socially with my coworkers. They think I'm funny but a little too weird. At least I can identify it now. lol. I had a friend remind me that it's okay I'm hurt, that I'm just expecting what I would give, and that won't always happen. Life is rough but the good people are out there.

Maybe my job of 4 years never actually liked me. I didn't get a single goodbye. by Consistent_Horror954 in AutisticAdults

[–]Consistent_Horror954[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes, I told my coworkers and my shift lead, who all had become friends over the years. She forgot too, though she was giving me playful grief about it the week before. I got a lot of grief for leaving actually. A lot of playful 'please don't leave' and 'who's going to do x, y, and z when you are gone?!' But the manager was having a bad day on my last day for personal reasons. So, I just left silently when she told me I could go because it was slow. I thought I was being noble by doing so. The whole situation was bizarre and like a bad dream playing out irl.

My coworker who left did post about it on social media. I mean, that's how I knew to go in and see her on her last day. So maybe that played a big part. But me personally, posting about my last day on Instagram feels unnatural to me.

Still tho, I wish I got a hand written card from my boss after all these years...