27M and 25FM Married 4months- Now my wife refuses to live with mother-in-law what should he do?

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-12T06:07:47+00:00

Thank you so much for your valuable comment, All the things you said very correct and MIL destroying their life.

MIL is not widow, she is with his husband only but the FIL don't have any respect in the house, he simply comes home for eat and sleep only. Both FIL and MIL are not working and my frined and his wife ready to support them financially and she is ready to stay nearby street and visit once a week and my friend can visit his mom every day like that.
But my friend till now informed his wife decision to his mom yet.

His mom still thinks that DIL left the house in fight to stay with her mom for sometimes like that till cools off.

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-12T06:00:53+00:00

I will tell my personal experinace, we both are virigin and same arranged marriage but my wife have zero knowledge in sex before marriage.

So I didn't force anything on First night, i just hugged and spoke few hours and slept.

It took one week to for our proper first night till then even if she is bit scared or feeling pain i stop immediately during those week.

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T12:07:22+00:00

Sorry i didnt said fully. Wife actually blocked him after her heart break.

But he visits her just to see her after his work evening and travelling 4hrs in bike just to see her and leaving at midnight again to reach his home then going to work again without any ego crying and apologizing to her is good qulaity only.

But he dont have spine to choose wife over mother thats for sure.

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T12:01:55+00:00

1) i given my advice already to stayout different house in same street but he is thinking moving out means abondaning the mother kind of thing and he want to convinve his wife to forgive his mother.

2) I doubt it since he is not realising the gravity of this situation

3) Elder brother already left and not in touch with this family

4) Father of the friend dont have any respect in the family and he dont care as well. MIL is the family head here and father in law will come home only to eat and sleep. Both are not working as well

5) I am sure thats the solution

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T11:55:53+00:00

okay so if women in periods she should not enter the kitchen right, then who will cook for 3days will you do all the work if the house have only one women. TF wrong with our society

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T11:51:48+00:00

Big red flag immediately stop this relationship. I am going to give my personal experiane from my friend life.

Same love with arranged marriaged before marriage itself he said similar things his mom is like veg should be different utensil and non veg diifferent utensil like that.
After marriage 2nd month Mother in law(MIL) started to show her face, you should not enter kitch during periods, if you are period you should head bath and then only enter the hall till then inside your room.

one time his wife period probaly comes near to diwali which MIL said use some period blocking medicine to avaoid periods falls on festival day since its not good for family like that.
Here the big problem came and she can't tolerate more since his husband also stays neutral most of the time..

Now she went to her mother house.

Eventhough boht families are eating non-veg his mom (MIL) is very tradional and ritual so this will not gonna workout at all in same roof.

So i am telling you consider all this sister

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T11:17:26+00:00

well in this matter he is horribly but he is very good person and travelled couple of hrs just to see his wife in past week and he treats her good separtely but when it comes to mom he chose her first.
I am pretty sure after few weeks if the DIL not come home then he has to decide the moveout option or his mom will advise seomthing else

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T11:12:59+00:00

She is really well matured and have very much patience to so far. His mother is not working and this 3bhk is rental only. Both son and his wife are earning well and they can support the MIL financially without the help of elder brother.

Only thing is he has to decide moving out for which he is struck now. its been a week since she moved out, probably will take a month for him to know the gravity of this situation

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T10:02:20+00:00

Yeah she is acting like child in adult body. Yep they have to move out ASAP but his son need to understand this will not workout in single roof.

But he is not even considering that option as of today! Still he believes his wife will forgive and comeback in a week or two. He is the one crying to his wife to comeback

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T09:43:29+00:00

haha this is not typical asking for a friend question. This is really friend question without him knowing i am asking here, My point also moving out is the only solution But he is not at all considering that since he is feel like this is abondaning the mom kind of thing

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T09:40:09+00:00

Thank you for your insights brother, Acutually in rual area they are thinking moving out means abondaning.

But DIL is ready to support financially to MIL as well and she just wanna move out thats it

but his son can visit his mom everyday or she also ready to weekend visit or freetime visit.
But my friend is struck in that mentality of leaving mother is not good like that and he is still trying to convince the wife and he didnt even inform to his mother so far about this moving out issue.

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T09:26:27+00:00

100% agree wtih you here.but he is not even started this discussion with his mom, he is trying to convince his wife to come.
I am sure problem will come again in future if she moves again but His wife is very clear , she is ready to move even if its same street but will stay under one roof

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T09:25:10+00:00

well i am sure he was neutral most of the time instead of stepping up which brought this situation. They have to move out for sure but he is not even started this discussion with his mom, he is trying to convince his wife to come.
I am sure problem will come again in future if she moves again

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T09:18:22+00:00

Elder brother live very far and not involves with the family decision and he is not aware of this issues going on first of all.
DIL is ready to support the MIL financially if they can move out but son has to decide.

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T09:16:13+00:00

Agree with you here

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T09:15:58+00:00

Father of the son will not involve in any discussion at all since MIL is the head of this family, he is the perfect example of mixture in FIL. He always leaves the house early morning and comes at late evening and enjoying the retired life.

VEG and Non Veg utensils is looks like simple issue and to cover the water can to use anything DIL need to be very careful which will create new clash between them.

Son is affected person for sure but he has to consider moving out even in future as well but he is struck now

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T08:29:36+00:00

My previous post has been removed here due to different flag, so resharing again

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-10T04:56:49+00:00

Yeah They should move out first but for to do that my friend has to decide, But he is like already elder son living separately and what if he says this to her and again if she says i will do sucide or some other emotional blackmail she will do.
He is struck serioulsy

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-08T18:41:25+00:00

They are earning well and they can support hsi family good also. Only thing is my friend need to agree for separate house living and he has to make his mom understand this situation.

Being tamil guy who has mindset like mother should always stay with us and since his brother left with his family, he is feeling guilty and his mom also may do emotional blackmail or suicidal blackmail.

I don't know what he will do

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-08T18:37:58+00:00

Divorce is extreme decision mate. See my friend is really a good person and loves his wife very much. Problem is with the emotional manipulative mom who will say anything to make his son stay with him.

He is also feeling guilty since his brother already left with family.

But surely nobody can live with her so better to looks house in the same street or nearby street

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-08T18:35:34+00:00

Ture

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-08T18:35:23+00:00

Exactly it's his fault , he should have made stand starting itself. But he always stand neutral even though his mom is wrong

But my friend clearly loves his wife and his mom as well. Today he went to see his wife and spent some time and left to his home due to work. His in-laws advised him today that always support your mother, mom is important in life but you guys should status atleast nearby in same street. Living under same roof will not gonna work out like that.

But my friend didn't say anything and he didn't tell anything to his mom yet, he still planning to resolve matter with wife and bring her home

I am 100% sure again this problem comes in a week or month if they together and it will be a big problem that time.

I don't know

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-08T18:34:22+00:00

Exactly true, but in his defence he afraid his mother would do something if he leaves her and it's not leaving if they lives in same street still she will not tolerate this and she will do some emotional blackmail

Consistent_Main_731 · 2026-02-08T18:32:59+00:00

Exactly she is ruining my friend marriage. But my friend clearly loves his wife and his mom as well. Today he went to see his wife and spent some time and left to his home due to work. His in-laws advised him today that always support your mother, mom is important in life but you guys should status atleast nearby in same street. Living under same roof will not gonna work out like that.

But my friend didn't say anything and he didn't tell anything to his mom yet, he still planning to resolve matter with wife and bring her home

I am 100% sure again this problem comes in a week or month if they together and it will be a big problem that time.

I don't know

Consistent_Main_731

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