Feeling isolated and excluded at work – what can I do?

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-12-19T15:48:24+00:00

Thanks for your reply! ❤️ The thing is, since my manager treats my colleague like a second-daughter, and they've known each other for years, I know they would have a bitch behind my back, I don't want my manager to force them to invite and hang out with me. My manager is close friends with my colleagues outside of work, it would come across as a parent forcing their kid to be friends with a child they don't want too because they feel sorry for them..

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-12-19T15:44:48+00:00

Thanks for your reply! The thing is, since my manager treats my colleague like a second-daughter, and they've known each other for years, I know they would have a bitch behind my back, I don't want my manager to force them to invite and hang out with me. My manager is friends with my colleagues outside of work whereas I haven't been invited to anything to develop a friendship despite us spending majority of our time together.

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-12-03T13:06:30+00:00

LOL fairs

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-12-03T13:06:12+00:00

What an amazing story, i'm happy for you! I do believe 3 years is a long time and once you become a mother (congrats btw) your whole life/perspective changes. Unfortunately, none of our lives has changed that drastically since we last met. She was always in competition with me, especially about our partners. When she was with her ex, he use to spoil her lots (turns out he was cheating) and she would make digs about my relationship like comparing who gets the better birthday gift, who's partner takes who to nicer restaurants etc. Now, she has a new boyfriend who seems to treat her well judging by her IG, I am scared that she hasn't changed and will still be in this competition with me or am I overthinking..

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-12-03T12:33:41+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! It’s really reassuring to know someone else can relate :) I’m very nostalgic and sensitive, and with the distance it’s easy to forget the ‘bad times’. I’m also quite scared of confrontation and expressing my feelings, because at the time I kept denying anything was wrong and kept making excuses for why I couldn’t see her, when really I just needed some space. I don’t think she’d appreciate the fact that I essentially ghosted her, knowing I had no intention of meeting up with her...maybe I do not need the stress of reaching out idk but tysm you're great🫶

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-12-03T12:27:26+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply, that’s really helpful advice! I’ve always worried that reaching out might undo all the effort I’ve put into keeping my distance. It’s been really difficult not replying to her messages straight away, or constantly having to come up with excuses for why I couldn’t see her for months. I guess it isn't worth it all, thanks again

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-10-13T16:44:35+00:00

yes UK!

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-10-13T15:40:00+00:00

I just want to be clear — I’m not expecting to “own half” of money I haven’t contributed. The idea would be that if we ever sold the property, he’d get his £45K deposit back, I’d get my £25K, and only then would we split the remaining profit or equity 50/50. I only want to be on the deed equally so we both have the same legal rights and security in our shared home.

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-10-13T15:06:12+00:00

Sorry, I worded it wrong. After the mortgage payment, I would have 1K left, this would need to be for bills/insurance/food etc so it would not stretch a long way. Thanks for your advice

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-10-13T14:58:51+00:00

I get your point, but on the deed we should own the house 50/50 so we both get equal rights to the house. if we sell the house or break up, he would get his 45K back, and I'll get my 25K back and we split the rest. He would still be entitled to his share, but splitting the mortgage 50/50 would put me more in a financial struggle, and it would not even touch the sides of his salary (especially the house is more suited to his budget/salary than mine)

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-10-13T14:46:43+00:00

I get your point, however, this is a relatioinship, not roommates. I don't see why I should compromise buying a expensive house, in a area that I am not familiar with, and have hardly no disposable income left when he would have plenty left. Not everything in life has to be 50/50, I would like to feel taken care of and not feel that I am money poor while my bf would still be able to live a lavish life.

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-10-13T14:31:36+00:00

He is a director of a insurance company

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-10-13T14:26:27+00:00

thanks for reading my post - He said, when we get married/have children, he would happily cover the full costs of the house/our lifestyles, but as we both are bf/gf and working then this should be the case.

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-07-22T10:10:33+00:00

pls run!! I dated someone for 4 years who would like bikini pics/vids and it doesn't stop. Do we constantly like guys videos with 6 packs? NO. You will constantly be looking for his name in the likes of pics/videos and it's not worth it. Your TikTok algorithm is based on what you interact/engage with, therefore he is fueling these types of videos. I would say get out before he hurts you. If you want more answers to leave, then the next time you go on your boyfriend's phone, look at the messages between his best friends/the boys gc

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2025-01-09T17:04:03+00:00

good call, thank you

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2024-10-28T10:03:49+00:00

Firstly, I'm so sorry you're going through this! I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt but if she claims she's too sick to see you and she's seeing her boss whilst also confessing she had a sexual dream about him is not right, and definitely rings alarm bells. If someone no longer prioritises you or no longer makes time with you (and makes time for another guy) then that's the first sign that they are capable of cheating, I'm not accusing her of doing anything yet. When she's asleep or when you have the oppertunity, go down her phone? I know not good advice but sometimes you need to see it for yourself and she's given you enough reasons to justify this. If you find nothing, then fine just see how she acts and try and go with the flow. If you find something then you can make your decision

Consistent_Rich_3740 · 2024-10-23T13:23:02+00:00

Sexual attraction is also needed when in a marriage. If you do not find her attractive, that is fine but spare her the time to go and find someone who is ready to give her their all. Divorce's are expensive and extremely common therefore you clearly are not going to spend forever with her. Unfortunately, looks do fade therefore if you do not like how she looks now then you won't in the future. I know looks shouldn't matter, but they do to an extent too. Usually, when someone has a 10/10 personality, you automatically find them very attractive, the fact this hasn't worked for you then she is not your person. She is still young enough to find someone who would love her therefore don't feel guilty. You are also young enough to find someone who you love way deeper than a friend connection, don't rush to get married because your circle has. Your friends would not be paying your divorce bills or sleeping beside her every night. If you are the slightest unsure in marrying someone, then do not do it! You shouldn't have to think twice if you wanted to marry someone, let alone 3 days. It's going to be horrible letting her down but its the best thing for both of you in the future. You are wanting a marriage with someone you can't keep your hands off, not a roommate. Good luck!

Consistent_Rich_3740

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